@weepingsinner7 This!! Maybe a day or two every month I’m like hey I could have two! And immediately I’m snapped back to reality lol
I don’t get why people want more than one
- Thread starter 2ndlight
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agodbelieverlove1stfaith2
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@2ndlight My friends went for #2 when #1 was literally like 6-9 months old. It was triplets. True story.
Not sure about IVF but she swears it was not. ANYWAY they now have 4 boys under 2.
I creep her socials sometimes to see if she’s, like, you know, alive… she is and she seems deliriously happy, actually.
Good for her but if it was me … LOL… mentally, physically, financially, spiritually could NOT.
Not sure about IVF but she swears it was not. ANYWAY they now have 4 boys under 2.
I creep her socials sometimes to see if she’s, like, you know, alive… she is and she seems deliriously happy, actually.
Good for her but if it was me … LOL… mentally, physically, financially, spiritually could NOT.
@2ndlight I love children and always have. I always thought I’d have 3 or more, but I especially always wanted a daughter… then I had my son! And I struggle/d WAY more than I thought I would. PPA/PPD kicked/is kicking my ass. Childhood trauma I thought I’d gotten over made it clear I had not gotten over it.
I love my son with all that I am and all that I have. I don’t regret a second.. but also I don’t think I’d be able to cope doing it all over again from the start. And that’s with the world’s best husband who goes above and beyond for our son and for me… I know my limits and I’m listening to them. Part of me will always mourn the big family I always wanted. But I’m in love with my little family of 4 (gotta count our furstborn cat ofc!!) and maybe one day far in the future I’ll adopt. Who knows
I love my son with all that I am and all that I have. I don’t regret a second.. but also I don’t think I’d be able to cope doing it all over again from the start. And that’s with the world’s best husband who goes above and beyond for our son and for me… I know my limits and I’m listening to them. Part of me will always mourn the big family I always wanted. But I’m in love with my little family of 4 (gotta count our furstborn cat ofc!!) and maybe one day far in the future I’ll adopt. Who knows
amazingorange
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@2ndlight I want more because my family doesn't feel complete. I feel like I was robbed from a healthy pregnancy, I was too sick and throwing up too much to enjoy even a moment of it. I want to experience seeing my child grow again. I want to give my daughter the sibling she wants. I want to give her a friend, someone she can experience life with on the same level. I want the close intimacy with my partner when we're both looking at a little being we created together and admiring them and each other and our family.
I enjoy motherhood. And I feel like I have been robbed of it. Once just isn't enough for me. That is my reality though, not yours, and I'm not commenting this to give shame or anything! I'm unfortunately one and done not by choice, so I guess it maybe gives a little insight?
I enjoy motherhood. And I feel like I have been robbed of it. Once just isn't enough for me. That is my reality though, not yours, and I'm not commenting this to give shame or anything! I'm unfortunately one and done not by choice, so I guess it maybe gives a little insight?
@amazingorange I was in the same boat with the sickness. I hated every minute of pregnancy and I too feel like I was robbed of the joy that comes with pregnancy. I’m mostly one and done because I can’t fathom putting my body through that again. Hence, why the thought of pregnancy makes me nauseous
amazingorange
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84lutheran
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@amazingorange I was so sick the entire time too. The ONLY joy I remember of pregnancy was the kicks as I was falling asleep. Everything else was exhaustion, nausea, muscle weakness from lack of good nutrition, and sleep from the meds they give you.
I would spiral and panic every time I thought about maybe having a second. A little after my daughter turned a year I confessed to my husband in tears that I don’t want to do it ever again. He had really wanted a second. He got his vasectomy when he realized I was DONE DONE.
I would spiral and panic every time I thought about maybe having a second. A little after my daughter turned a year I confessed to my husband in tears that I don’t want to do it ever again. He had really wanted a second. He got his vasectomy when he realized I was DONE DONE.
fatalheart
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thisismyusername123
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@2ndlight My wife and I went into parenthood as OAD but I do wonder where we'd be if we hadn't. Our boy is a delight but he was a terrible sleeper the first year and still has issues getting to sleep and wakes up incredibly early (the inbetween is generally fine). I know my wife has found parenthood harder than she anticipated as well. Would we have decided to go OAD after having our boy or would we have gone ahead with two? I think I would have backed away from having two.
@2ndlight I 100% agree.
But as mine turned 3-4 I started to realize why people have at least 2. I personally don’t want to. But seeing your kid develop socially totally puts ideas in your head about them playing with a sibling. And hearing “mommy why don’t I have a sister too?” Is a bit heartbreaking. She LOVES babies. She would be a fantastic sister. But I’m not interested in having more. There are benefits to each side. She enjoys being an only. She’s horrified when we play with families with multiples and they fight or cry or argue at each other. But she wants a baby. lol I told her she can have her own when she’s a grown up.
But as mine turned 3-4 I started to realize why people have at least 2. I personally don’t want to. But seeing your kid develop socially totally puts ideas in your head about them playing with a sibling. And hearing “mommy why don’t I have a sister too?” Is a bit heartbreaking. She LOVES babies. She would be a fantastic sister. But I’m not interested in having more. There are benefits to each side. She enjoys being an only. She’s horrified when we play with families with multiples and they fight or cry or argue at each other. But she wants a baby. lol I told her she can have her own when she’s a grown up.
@2ndlight My daughter was a super easy baby, then her strong willed nature came out of the woodwork when she turned one (and to this day she has a mind of her own). That, along with my health conditions and my husband's hectic work schedule, we are OAD and content with it. Some friends with 3-4 kids honestly seem miserable. I'm happy with my husband, 7 year old and our high energy dog
shippugarg
New member
@2ndlight I enjoyed being pregnant but not what it did to my body after. I finally feel good in my body again. I love being able to pour my all into my daughter and enjoy being able to do anything 1 on 1. And now that she’s 27 months my husband can handle her 1 on 1 on outings too. So I can get a little me time. None of this would be easy with 2!!!! He doesn’t want another. I really don’t either. However I could get on board with it if he wanted to grow our family. But bc he doesn’t I’m going to enjoy our simple lives and pouring all of our love into our princess and look forward to outings and adventure as a family of 3 . Being able to attend all her sports and classes. More than 1 is just very overwhelming. When one is asleep the other will struggle. They would both be sick together . More teething?! More sleep regression?! More cranky days? More tantrums ? Agh!!! It’s for the best. We are happy. And super grateful actually. We know our limits as a whole and I’m glad . I also look forward to gaining more me time for hobbies and such back. And going on retreats (when she gets older) and other travel with my daughter too. So much we can do with ease.