@2ndlight Same. No judgment but I just turned 21 and have a 4 month old daughter. I know plenty of people my age who have multiple kids, my ex-boyfriend who is twenty has TRIPLETS on the way (thankfully his first children).
Again, no judgment; I just have no idea how they can do it while working, paying bills, and keeping their sanity in tact. I just don’t have the mental or physical fortitude to do it. My back hurts, my joints hurt, and pregnancy just did something to my brain and body lol. I don’t want to do it again.
I literally get so anxious and sick thinking about being pregnant again despite having the easiest pregnancy ever, to the point that even though I’m on BC and we use condoms every single time, I’ve been taking a pregnancy test once a month since we were cleared at 6 weeks.
@trynabgood I also take a pregnancy test every month cos I'm completely paranoid about getting pregnant and not knowing it. I'm on the mini pill so I don't have periods, so every tiny amount of nausea or dizziness has me freaking the hell out
@siriusp23 No same!! I got hungry-nauseous the other day and went omg that hasn’t happened since I was pregnant I should test! Surprise surprise it came out negative
@2ndlight My girl is 10 months now, and I have what they call a trick baby. Shes the best. Shes slept through the night since 4 months. Shes made everyone’s lives better for existing. She smiles and giggles at any stranger who will give her attention. Shes so cute and wonderful that I have forgotten I think, exactly how terrible the first few months of her life were for me, and I conveniently push aside all the thoughts about how we would afford another. I just imagine being able to experience exactly her as a tiny baby again with the experience I have now, and I cherish who she is now and think everyday how tomorrow she will be just a little bigger than she is today, and then I think, oh it would be nice to have all the good parts of this one more time.
I think if she were a more difficult baby, or when we get to the more difficult parts of her being a toddler, I’ll remember why I’m mostly OAD. But I get it.
@2ndlight I had a relatively “easy” pregnancy and the thought of having another is difficult mostly due to financial constraints.
We are renters, I’m from a HCOL city and there’s no reason for us to move because both my husband and I have jobs that are location-centric and the support system we have (3 days a week thanks to my parents) would be lost.
I’ll be 37 this year, my husband is nearly 5 years older than me so unless we magically gain at least $2 million, I could take a few years off from work, we could buy a home, and be debt free lol.
@titus Same. Easy pregnancy for the most part, but we couldn’t afford another. Even though we live in a LCOL area, it would be way too tight for my sanity since we need full time daycare.
Too bad my MIL keeps insisting another sounds like a nice idea, even after saying how much it’ll cost. They live on the opposite side of the country and wouldn’t be any help.
@2ndlight Every time my husband and I are having a particularly bad or good day with our baby, we go "now imagine this day WITH A TODDLER HERE AS WELL", and then we agree we are not a multiple kids kind of family
@2ndlight My family is complete with just my one 8 yr old baby, but I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have another child and experience going through my pregnancy with someone I love. My son’s father & I weren’t together & my son was the farthest thing from planned. So I sometimes wonder if I missed out on some inexplainable joy by not being pregnant by someone I love. But I’m happily married to my wife now & we’re happily one & done!
@2ndlight I maintain that if I had my first child when I was younger (and long before my chronic health issues) that I probably would have had a second but with a 4-5 year age gap. Similar to you, there’s no way I could have handled being pregnant again when I had a baby or toddler. However, now that I have an almost 5 year old, who has a lot more independence and understanding, I could feasibly do it. I started feeling this way after her third birthday and feel it even more now.
@2ndlight I think 1) their standards for parenting might be lower so they are anticipate it being a bit easier 2) they have the money and village 3) a big family at the dining table is very appealing to alot of people the "work" behind it doesn't matter 4) a lot of ppl genuinely prioritize family over everything if we are talking about the really big families not that we don't but they don't have other hobbies or things that they want to prioritize. AND ITS OKAY love that for them
