i don’t get why my dad is so mad at me for getting an A in physics

[wonderstruck]

for reference, i am doing igcse physics(a cambridge curriculum) and the percentage for each grades are(i might be wrong about C and D):
A*= 90
A = 80
B = 70
C = 65
D = 50
recently, i did a physics test, it was relatively hard compared to the other tests as the highest mark in our class was a 91 or a 92. I didn’t preform well enough which resulted in me getting a 84. when i told my parents about this, they freaked out and said something along the lines of ‘u have my genes so u have the capability to get around 95.’ and their conclusion was i didn’t study hard enough. now my dad wants to talk to him about it when im ready and i think he is going to do some form of punishment on me. what do i do

 

[klaus107]

@wonderstruck You did well and no matter how hard you study its unreasonable to expect anyone to get it perfect every time wether thats because you just had a bad day for whatever reason or because in this case maybe the test was unexpectedly hard (tests being designed poorly designed does happen, it happened to a class i was in when i was training to be an electrician and a 3rd of the class outright failed and almost everyone else was dangerously close because a subject nobody could reasonably expect to know was included by accident so resits were done for the whole class)

Your parents holding you to an reasonably high standard is how people burn out and then academic performance goes down the toilet so unless you actually needed a 95 for a specific reason like trying to get a scholarship then id just be happy with outperforming a vast majority of your peers

 

[mynach]

@wonderstruck You did better than me at school. Sounds like your dad is projecting his wants and expectations onto you. I feel for you. Hope it all works out.

edit: grades are not the be all end all. I was an underachiever got mostly C's still managed to go to uni (waste of time) then changed careers and i am now on more money than most In my area... Not trying to boast, just want to try and get across grades don't mean everything.

 

[reasonwithme]

@wonderstruck How old is your dad and does he understand the grading scale? An 84 used to be a B-, which isn’t bad, but not great if expectations are high

 

[chriscomplex]

@wonderstruck 1) Are you Indian?

2) You will find little understanding from the mostly US-based Reddit community because tests in America work very differently. And they don't grasp that UK exams are much more challenging and with essay questions (not in Physics though) so that getting 90% is nearly god-tier.

 

[flowerman]

@wonderstruck Poor approach by your parents. They ought to validate your results and then discuss with you how you approached studying and then make any adjustments from there. Saying you have our genes and do better is so low brow, lacks introspection or any sort of thought process.

 

[yellowbird12]

@wonderstruck Be a man. If you underperformed, take your punishment and move on. Be happy that you have someone in your life that cares about how you perform and wants to push you.

My parents abandoned me. I could have failed every class and they would not have cared.

If you really feel you did your best. Look your father dead in the eye and tell him “I did my best.”

 

[jamesmartin03]

@yellowbird12 There is a major difference between abandoning your kids and punishing them for doing their best. Neither one is a great option.

The correct response would have been a conversation to determine the grading scale, the effort put in by the student, and if there are any extenuating or lifestyle circumstances that led to them not performing well. If they need extra help, support in finding it. If their outside life is causing them to skimp on studying, address it. If it's all too much pressure, help find ways to step back and breathe.

Not everyone is good at everything. They still got an A. They are obviously being graded on a curve, because this subject is hard. Telling a child to 'be a man' in the face of punishment for doing their best is just bad parenting.

 

[livingtildead]

@yellowbird12 And how would you punish your children for having the audacity to get an 84 on a Cambridge physics test?

 

[kingse]

@yellowbird12 The first time my mother slapped me across the face was when I was in seventh grade and got a B+ on a Spanish test. I got the highest grade in the class but she was still really upset and said I should have gotten an A. I'm 66 years old now and have never, ever forgotten that moment.

 

[mygisfy]

@kingse I’m so sorry!!! How was your relationship with your mother afterwards? Were you ever able to meet her high expectations?

 

[kingse]

@mygisfy I recently finished quite a few years of therapy because of stuff with her and something else that I figured out happened to me as a child, and as part of overcoming my "helpless child" script I was finally able to set healthy boundaries with her, which I don't think anyone has ever done before quite honestly, so I was genuinely shocked that it worked at all. Since about three years ago we finally have what has consistently been our best relationship ever, such as it is. It's about 95% great (for me anyway) as long as we aren't in the same state/house/room.

 

[flowerman]

@yellowbird12 They didn't guide their child. If you are expecting a certain outcome then guide them.

 

[yellowbird12]

@flowerman If the child is old enough to write on Reddit, he’s old enough to confirm his parents expectations.

 

[pleaseprayformeplz]

@wonderstruck Your parents are being absurd.

You're doing great!

 

[exley]

@wonderstruck Your dad sounds like an insufferable blowhard.