I’m sick and tired of being told “JuSt GEt up BeForE tHe KiDs”

@dmurrayfly I basically do an hour of TV every morning to kind of simulate alone time, they watch it while they eat their breakfast. It allows me to start my day at a slower pace, make myself some coffee, read my book or scroll on my phone a little...it may not be "recommended" but it works for us.
 
@slanutak Sometimes this works for us. I really enforced it this morning when my 3.5yo woke me up at 3:15 to tell me threw up then my 1yo woke up at 4:30 and nobody was sleeping. My oldest got her tablet. I put on the wiggles for the youngest and said the toys were still sleeping. I felt a teensy bit bad, but I just couldn’t do playtime yet.
 
@dmurrayfly Yeah I used to wake up before my toddler but now we had to transition to a toddler bed and she became a crap sleeper. I always used that time to clean or relax. Well, now I got zero time! Everything is done with her tagging along unless I wake up to pee (29 weeks pregnant) and stay up for a little while. It's hard. Absolutely prioritize sleep.
 
@dmurrayfly Yes! My husband has gotten the side eye when I say I need to go in the garden, something that I enjoy and beneficial for our home and he asks can’t you do it in the morning instead of other parts of the day.

We have three children. One is autistic so he may get up in the middle of the night without warning and stay awake for hours (will run up and down the stairs repeatedly, giggling like a maniac for example) but is usually awake by 7 typically even if he doesn’t leave the bed, the second wakes between 6:30 am-7:30am and the third is six months old, isn’t sleeping through the night (wakes at 1 something and 3 something) and doesn’t like me out of her sight most of the time including naps otherwise her nap is 15-30 minutes, wakes around 6:45 am. School picks up the first before 8, I get second and third ready to do the school run.

The sun will be up about 4 am in late Spring which will throw the kids off a bit despite blackout curtains and I doubt the surrounding neighbours would appreciate me mowing and clinking about in our back garden at 6 am.
 
@dmurrayfly I have two autistic kids, and autistic kids in general are known for what I like to call "sleep allergies." My youngest especially has had horrible sleep for years and we just semi got it under control... he's almost 10 😳 lol. We sorted out some medical issues with him and he's now sleeping through the night 75% of the time. However, I'm still waking up instinctually from 2-5am, it's prolly some form of sleep PTSD from doing it for years. I do make coffee and read, but do you know what I should be doing instead... SLEEPING!!! Lol 🤣. Get your sleep where you can folks, that is my advice. I miss sleep SO much 😭.
 
@dmurrayfly If I try to wake up before my 3yo, she's up within 10-15 minutes even when I'm still sitting in bed in complete silence, idk how she knows😅 So we both just end up losing on sleep because most of the time she doesn't wanna go back
 
@dmurrayfly I have to get creative to get any "me time" too. I am currently playing around with my budget to try and include a boot camp that has "child watch" included. I am planning to pull my youngest from her half day program because it's expensive and it's only 4 hours which after the drive time becomes 3 hrs and I can'tjustifythe expense just so I can woek out and shower. It's so hard to find time during the first 5 years!! I totally forgot about the self neglect when we got pregnant with #2....it's just the stinky pits but I keep reminding myself that it will end.
 
@dmurrayfly My first mother in law constantly told me little "helpful suggestions" to manage two babies that were 3 months apart and both colicky. Finally, one day, I just handed them both to her and said, "Then you do it" and walked away. It wasn't 20 minutes and she was asking me to take one of them from her. After that, she would show up unannounced and offer to take one for a few hours so I could get a small break. She also started harping on her son to help out more because he didn't do crap for "my" daughter and barely did anything for our son.
 
@dmurrayfly I have an 8&9yr old. My 9-year-old still doesn't sleep through.

My 'golden hour' usually happens with her sitting next to me smiling like the Cheshire Cat while I'm downing coffee like it's the answer to life.

Like child, WHY ARE YOU SOLAR POWERED?
 
@dmurrayfly I say she's like the dementors from Harry Potter 😂

I average about 3hrs a night. There's been nights where she's slept for 2 hours and was ready for the day. Her Dr's all ask, so when she naps... NAPS?! You are joking right... right? No they aren't.
 
@dmurrayfly Tbh anything before age 5-6 is just instinctual survival. It’s ugly and tiring. My kids are 6 and 3, BARELY started being able to wake up before them about 2 months ago.
 
@dmurrayfly My kids sleep through the night for the most part (2.5 yrs and 9 months) at this point. We have some rough nights here and there but generally they sleep through (in my bed of course lol). Aaand I don’t get up before the kids. F that! I need every bit of sleep I can get. Usually my kids stir in bed and that’s what wakes me up in the morning. We wake up together.

I am guessing people who do that have older kids? Maybe 3-4yrs and up. By that time they might be less work overnight or during the day. I wouldn’t know. Just assuming.
 
@trishshaw My 3.5yo is still hard work overnight 😭 I’m hoping she gets better as we inch closer to 4 but I’m not holding my breath. I’ve been hoping for that since she was like a year old lol.
 
@dmurrayfly Awww! I just spit out a number because mine are younger than that. I don’t see myself getting up before my kids for quite some time. Maybe I will when they are teens and like to sleep in. For me, that extra bit of sleep I would give up in the morning would do more damage than good. Sleep is so crucial for my mental health and endurance during the day. So “wake up before the kids” does not compute for me. To each their own.
 
@dmurrayfly We bought one of those light alarm clocks for my 4 year old for that reason. She’s not allowed out of bed unless it’s an emergency until it turns green which is at 5:30. I wish it could be later but it’s better than 4:30-5 am calls from her.
 
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