@marialavender It gets better. IT GETS BETTER. I could have written your post when my son was 6 weeks old and his dad was going back to work. Like word for word. He’s two now and oh boy it’s so much better. I know that feels like forever away though so just take each day, hour, minute one at a time.
First thing I would do is address your anxiety. Are you diagnosed? Are you taking any medication? I waited way too long to talk to my Dr about PPA/PPD and regret it. Once I did I got put on medication for anxiety and insomnia and felt SO much better.
If breastfeeding is stressing you out and not working for you then ditch it. You’re in survival mode and if something isn’t working you shouldn’t let the pressures of doing “what’s right” influence how you get by day by day. I had to supplement as well due to low supply and looking back I wish I would have just saved myself the headache and exclusively formula fed. Doing both was so time consuming.
She’s only 7 weeks so yeah unfortunately her sleeping patterns will suck for the next little while. What kind of work does your husband do? Is he able to come home and take over so you can sleep in the later evening till about 11 or 12 and then he goes to sleep? That’s what my husband and I did when he went back to work. We still worked in shifts. Sure, he had to get up for work but so did I every day taking care of our son so we both needed to be rested.
I’m a light sleeper too. I would put my son in the bassinet beside me and either put white noise on or ear plugs. Don’t @ me Reddit. I could hear him if he actually cried because he was literally beside me but if he was just making baby noises (babies are noisy AF when they sleep) I wouldn’t hear him and could get some rest. Even if you can’t sleep just lay down when she’s sleeping. Zone out. Listen to a meditation. Rest your mind. Take the pressure off having to actually sleep.
When my son was that little instead of reading him kid stories I read out loud to him whatever novel I was reading. They can’t understand at that age so who cares? I read SO many books when he was a newborn. It kept my mind active and engaged and he got to hear my voice all day.
Just breathe. It’s hard. The hardest thing you’ll ever do. But once you’re on the other side of it you’ll be all the stronger and eventually be like me posting and encouraging other new moms! We all go through the hard and we all support each other through it.
