I’m really proud of myself. I haven’t yelled at my 2.5 year old at all this week

[dohnjoe]

Since we’ve had our second baby a few months ago, I’ve had a short fuse with our 2 year old since he’s is starting to seek more attention by acting out and sometimes pushing our limits. I know he doesn’t know any better, and that he is only 2 years old, but sometimes my temper gets the best of me, and I yell at him for acting up, I would even yell at him for the most trivial stuff if I was in a bad mood.

It’s something I’ve been really trying to work on because I don’t want to be “that dad”, and I don’t want him to be afraid of me. I’ve been trying to be way more patient and to find different ways to communicate. Thankfully it’s been proving successful! With less yelling, I can tell he’s also acting out less because he knows there will be less of a reaction.

This might seem silly to some people, but I’m just proud that I’m going in the right direction.

 

[dinsyngs01]

@dohnjoe You should be proud of yourself. You realized you were falling short in a certain aspect, decided to make a change, and have seen progress!

Proud you too man! Don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip up. We are all human

 

[august10181]

@dohnjoe Silly only to people who don't know how rage inducing children can be...

 

[extazyti]

@dohnjoe I am in the same boat and my son keeps upping the ante. It’s great to be self aware. You’ll pass that down to your son.

 

[scottmaciver]

@dohnjoe Good job dad. I try to be more self reflective with my daughter, and really everyone.

 

[jpsalm123]

@dohnjoe Took us a year after my third was born. My middle child is very middle childy

 

[doinocuulong]

@dohnjoe Recognizing that we can do better and then doing better is always something to take pride in. Adulting is hard sometimes and parenting is even harder. I never had to deal with attention seeking behaviors because my son is an only child and never had to compete for it, which has it’s own challenges. He tried my patience in plenty of other ways. After a long day, yelling sometimes seems less energy consuming than actively redirecting. It’s an easy groove to fall into. It actually takes a lot though. Just getting to that level of frustration zaps your mental energy, then feeling guilty afterward for mishandling a situation taxes your emotional energy. You end up spending more of the energy you’re already short on by yelling. Good on you for taking the time to center yourself and reevaluate how your reacting.

We’re all learning as we go here. It’s tough sometimes but, there’s nothing I love more than being a dad.

 

[richardrhys]

@dohnjoe That’s awesome! Yelling really doesn’t help us or our kids in any way. I’m trying hard too—want my son to grow up with more peace and safety than I did.

 

[alxzber]

@dohnjoe Great job, keep making progress!

You can also apologize when you slip up.

I try to talk things out with my toddler, it calms me down even if he doesn't understand fully

 

[jesusismylord77]

@dohnjoe Kudos for realising that you didn't like what you were doing and knowing that it wasn't healthy. Bigger kudos for owing up to it and making changes! I was raised by a dad who broke that cycle and I adore him more than anything for the compassion with which he raised me. You got this for your little ones!

 

[arc90901]

@dohnjoe Good work man!

 

[asp4yxiat10n]

@dohnjoe Hell yeah dad that’s awesome!

 

[jpchristian]

@dohnjoe Proud of you for recognizing that and working on it. I struggled with our oldest around 4 and had a short fuse. I've worked on it but still fallen short over the last couple years and now it can be a little rocky between us at 7. Still something I work on and things continue to get a lot better with us but I wish I would have worked on it harder when it started rather than making excuses for too long.

 

[nevertolate]

@dohnjoe A little but better, everyday. Your kids will thank you when they’re older.

 

[rhartsc]

@dohnjoe The turn around for me was when someone pointed out that “venting your frustration” and giving into that anger doesn’t make one calmer but is considered a satisfying release. The more you let your temper get the better of you, the more you “enjoy” losing your temper. Essentially the more you yell the more you want to yell. I know people who keep chipped plates to have something to break when they are pissed off. But breaking something is engaging that anger and fun, so you are encouraging your mind to get angry again. This logic is not as effective in the moment but I found it helpful overall.

 

[isaiahsean]

@dohnjoe Check out the book “No drama discipline”; I found it helpful and insightful.

 

[corno12]

@dohnjoe I heard of this concept the ‘10 minute miracle’. Basically you spend 10 uninterrupted mins playing with them giving them all your attention and it really helps them regulate and calm down and reconnect which in turn helps them listen and more likely to comply.
‘Big little feeling’ has some great tips for managing toddler land. Not for everyone but works really well for us.

I think the fact that you’re aware of these things and trying to change is impressive. It’s not easy to reprogram but it’s so rewarding and so worth it. Well done.

 

[saraheco]

@dohnjoe This brought tears to my eyes, way to go dad!

 

[adayahmusic]

@dohnjoe Happy for you, man. Some dads never figure that out, even long after their kids are grown.

 

[ddean]

@dohnjoe I grew up with "that dad." It sucks. He struggled with anger and temper and PTSD. I'm grown and have my own family now, and it has made it hard to foster an adult relationship with him.

I'm proud of you for trying, OP. Keep at it. Make sure you apologize for yelling. Even if being angry at them is justified, it's still important to say sorry for yelling. I promise they will remember that.