Husband wants to stop cosleeping and let baby CIO

[aryamehr]

@ufekevom I think the only answer is every time he complains, get up, turn off the light and close the door behind you leaving him to cio alone. If he doesn't like it then maybe he'll figure out a baby wouldn't like it either.

 

[fetaccinealfredo]

@ufekevom WWCD? What would cave women do? Back when evolution still meant survival of the fittest instead of survival of the first world-est, we kept our bebes alive and healthy with our instincts. Yes, I know, we have a lot of cool things now like medicine and plastic but mothering a baby hasn't changed much. Take care of them, protect them, do what you need to to get some sleep, and follow your mothering heart. There weren't any cave women letting a baby CIO for naps.

 

[fah270]

@fetaccinealfredo WWCD. Love it.

 

[andrew090565]

@ufekevom I highly recommend your husband (and you) read (or listen) to the nurture revolution! Cry it out goes against everything that is good for our and our babies mental health! Nurturing your baby builds their brain and helps them learn to regulate emotions later in life. CIO simply teaches them they can’t count on their needs being met, so they shut down to protect themselves- it does not teach self soothing. Children don’t have the capacity to self soothe until much later and NEED US to co-regulate.

 

[kpag]

@ufekevom My toddler still feeds to sleep and bedshares with my husband and I. It is normal in our culture to bedshare so no one bats an eye. Plus it’s like…we both know he will eventually not care to be with us all the time, so we try to treasure this fleeting time with him.

Like every baby, he has had ups and downs with his sleep, but it’s not true that a sudden drop to 30 minutes sleep is due to nursing to sleep and cosleeping. My toddler can go from sleeping 2.5 hrs for naps to sleeping 45 minutes for naps…it all depends on his circumstances, just like it does for adults like us.

I will say that I’m currently pregnant and almost wishing that I had pushed through with CIO…but I couldn’t stand the thought of potentially traumatizing my baby. Every time I leave the room while he’s trying to fall asleep on his own or with his dad, he cries like the world is ending. I’m afraid he will become more insecurely attached if I try again. But I know other moms that have succeeded with CIO and their babies are very secure and love their parents very much. So it depends on you. I think it is definitely harder on the parents to cosleep the older the child gets…but there’s pros and cons to every approach.

 

[temirlan]

@ufekevom Ask him to present you with evidence that feeding to sleep causes wakeups (there is none). And show him info about 8 month sleep regression - it’s a thing, although teething is also horrible for sleep. We find baby paracetamol really helps but we save it for nights because our bub is generally ok during the day.

 

[mikala]

@ufekevom D I v o r c e

Seriously though, I wouldn’t want someone around my child that thinks letting them scream and cry in fear and distress is a good idea. What does he do when you aren’t there?

 

[sweetheart5703]

@ufekevom Say.. “No ”

 

[kambroso]

@ufekevom As mother CIO seems horrifying and I still feel guilty and sad for doing it to my son when he was a toddler. I didn’t even do it for that long but still that guilt lingers. Our babies need us to be there for them whenever they want

 

[loveworthfightingfor]

@ufekevom how it goes with us is if he wants to do the cry it out he gets to be up and deal with it. I get to sleep. I do not cry it out.

 

[pinkflower89]

@ufekevom The magic boob is the only reason I get any sleep at all and cosleeping is the only way that I function well enough to get through the day sometimes. I would never do cry it out because I know that it's not actually normal for babies to sleep independently that young. My kid is almost 2 now and has never slept through the night and according to multiple pediatricians and developmental psychologists (we see a lot of people but not for sleep problems) it's completely normal and they won't be concerned for years. The thing is, keeping baby close and helping them get back to sleep is the best way to establish healthy sleep patterns for them as they get older. Feeling secure and having their needs cared for will help them identify their own needs and soothe themselves back to sleep. I know that having an independent baby sounds really cool and all but when you really think about it there's no logic. If you want to bring someone into your house that you can hang out with but not put effort into, get a roommate instead of having a baby.

 

[greaterthanorequalto]

@ufekevom Do what you think is best for your baby is my advice. You know what you're doing is working and is right for your baby. Don't deviate.

 

[shivani5667]

@ufekevom There’s a huge gap between cosleeping/nursing to sleep and CIO. Maybe start with simply nursing to sleep and placing in a bedside crib at night and patting/shushing/rocking to sleep during the day. I think there are many different things to try before jumping from the most connectedness to the least connectedness. Good luck!

 

[god2good4me]

@ufekevom Nursing to sleep and whatever else you have going that is working for you keep it up.

There are more gentle ways of transitioning out of cosleeping.But night time cosleeping you should Listen to you partner it’s not working for him anymore.