Husband job offer - more money, less flexibility

[scooper8]

TL;DR on Friday we found out my oldest got a spot at the public pre-K (8 am-3 pm, follows school calendar, no bus) and also that my husband got an internal job offer that would significant increase his earnings ($80k to $110k) but he would go from being in the office 1-2 days a week depending on meetings to 4 days a week. Travel would also increase from 3 weeks a year to 5-6 weeks. I work entirely on site, no WFH and no schedule flexibility beyond PTO. Curious how others have handled 2 on site jobs while we consider this!

Long version: right now I work in childcare making about $48k (very good pay for my industry) in a private non-profit center about 40 minutes away from our home. We entered the lottery for a public preK spot to keep our options open. My entire take home pay currently goes to childcare even with the staff discount, so public preK would mean more available money, though we’re able to pay our non-daycare bills off my husband’s current salary. But I’m gone from about 7:30 to 5 every day and obviously no WFH. Unexpectedly my husband got a job offer for $30k more than he’s currently making but he’d be in the office M-Th. He could handle drop off at preK but then wouldn’t be home till 5:45 those days. We’re running the numbers on aftercare (though there’s still the problem of summer break) vs keeping him at my center, but it seems like most families with 2 parents working have a lot of schedule autonomy and WFH and we’d be losing most of what we do have. I was a SAHM for two years and loved it, but I also like my current center! I’m wondering how much other parents of school age kids rely on flexibility, and also how you make it work if both of you are in person.

 

[spacecadet3767]

@scooper8 I would probably stick with your daycare if your husband wants to take the job. I cannot imagine you’ll save any money unless the public pre-k has an affordable before/after school program.

Also, look at summer camps in your area and what age they start at. Spots for 3s and 4s can be hard to come by.

I have a flexible WFH job, which is why we are able to do the preschool thing. Even then I’m stretched pretty thin…older kid went to this preschool because he had some very specialized needs at the time and now younger kid is here because we’re gluttons for punishment. Most of our friends have kids in daycare.

 

[scooper8]

@spacecadet3767 Can I ask, did your preschool set up follow the same schedule as K or was it different? One thing I’m considering is that we’ll be switching to this school one way or another in the next two years, since it is also our zone school for K-5, but there also seem to be more aftercare and summer spots for K than 4 year olds.

Aftercare would be $200/week, which is about $100/week less than what we pay to my work for him. But I guess that also doesn’t cover breaks.

 

[spacecadet3767]

@scooper8 We’re at a private preschool, public elementary is a different schedule. Our district’s public preschool follows the same schedule as the rest of the district.

 

[uberdoo]

@spacecadet3767 yes, the (lack of) summer care situation is what I think will probably keep us from doing a public pre-k program that I had pretty much always planned on. Ours is not free but significantly cheaper than regular childcare and it would save us ~$4500 during the school year, but the only summer care options I've found that will accept 3 and 4 year olds are in the $400/week range and also extremely competitive so you need to be prepared to drop those camp registration fees in February or so.

 

[spacecadet3767]

@uberdoo And it’s just a lot of movement/upheaval for a small kid. I would say my 3.5yo is overall very happy in care, but adjusting to new adults short term is going to be a challenge for him.

 

[kwellham]

@scooper8 I think it’s quite common for both parents to work onsite and/or have inflexible jobs. It means aftercare (and sometimes before care) is a necessity. We will not be able to put our youngest in transitional kindergarten if aftercare is not available for 4 year olds, and I still have to look at summer camps to make sure I can find some that accept 4 year olds. Else we will need to pay for another year of preschool (which is full day, we ruled out all preschools that are not full day).

 

[scooper8]

@kwellham Interesting, it seems like a lot of sub members rely on WFH and flexing hours to make it work for at least one parent. Maybe that’s a post-Covid thing?

 

[kwellham]

@scooper8 Good question! I will say that needing full day care does limit options, and it can be frustrating at how many schools don’t offer options for dual working parent households who don’t have flexible schedules.

 

[benreborn]

@scooper8 I would consider that the flexibility needed goes beyond just this next year. When he’s in full time school, what will you do? Presumably there’s an aftercare program, is that possible for this year too? Is there an option for a babysitter to pick him up and play for a bit at your house? Without knowing much else, IMO this will only continue to be a problem in the future so may as well figure it out now and take the raise!

 

[frozenocean]

@scooper8 Personally I am trying to set up carpooling for pre-K in the fall to help with drop off. Another family on my street has 2 kids who go the same school. I can do pick up (their kid and mine) much easier than drop off as I work an early schedule and my husband is in the office part time (so I need drop off help in his in-office days). Do you know any other families attending or planning to attend the school? If your husband only had 2 late days per week it may be worth it. That’s not an insignificant pay raise.

 

[scooper8]

@frozenocean This job would be shifting to 4 days in office (so needing aftercare from 3 to 5, we’ve got a friend with a home daycare who thinks she has room, cost is $200/week). We do know several other families who recommended having a parent handle drop off, which my husband can do in either job, and then looking for a home daycare aftercare because of spot restrictions in the school aftercare.

 

[kiritsugu]

@scooper8 $200/week just for aftercare at a home daycare!? That seems insanely expensive. Like my friend will be paying $300/week for her 3-year-old for full time care.

 

[scooper8]

@kiritsugu How much are aftercare costs in your area? I wasn’t sure how much to expect since this is my oldest. We currently pay $325/week for him but that’s with a 25% staff discount - the “list price” is $440. But it’s a very expensive daycare! The on-site aftercare would be $150/week but they apparently don’t have spots for preK.

 

[kiritsugu]

@scooper8 My daycare is $1800/month and local aftercare is $80 per week, to give you an idea. I wouldn’t pay center prices for a home daycare, fwiw.

 

[scooper8]

@kiritsugu good to know, I will ask around about other aftercare prices. It did just occur to me that this coming school year will be the first time they are trying full day pre-K. Last year it was 8-11:30. So maybe that will change the aftercare set up and prices

 

[claudiosm82]

@scooper8 It sounds like you'll have a lot to juggle whenever your husband has to travel for work, if your job is 40 minutes away from home and you'll have to figure out transportation for your oldest to public pre-k.

I don't think I've ever suggested someone quit to be a stay at home mom when commenting in this subreddit, but it seems like a rational choice in your situation.