How to support a gifted child?

[ghostwriter323]

@aegisheart I was sent to school a year early and it was not a good idea.

Make sure your kid can enjoy being alive, that's most important. Take special care for emotional support, here he is still the little kid. Don't let his abilities trick you into treating him as much older than he actually is.

Don't force him to do sth he doesn't like, let him choose.

Offer inspiring things, maybe chess, get him into reading/ exploring by himself. He needs to learn how to enjoy himself y

 

[aegisheart]

@ghostwriter323 Seems like going to school early isn't usually the best. We'll bring that up when the decision needs to be made.

We play a lot of games but not chess. I suck at both chess and checkers, so maybe that's a good idea, as the playing field will be even.

 

[navysteel]

@aegisheart I tested as gifted as a child, and as an adult (less than a year ago actually) we figured out I've always had ADHD as well. Being twice exceptional can have a lot of challenges, and it's extremely common for one part of it or the other to be overlooked, so it's great that you're so on top of this and advocating for your son.

For me, based on abilities with schoolwork, I could have easily skipped a grade or two. I'm glad my mom opted not to though, because socially and emotionally, I was slightly behind my peers as is, and looking back I think that was at least partly due to the ADHD.

Maybe look into alternate options for schooling, like charter schools, or some sort of home schooling or tutoring program. Just make sure he gets plenty of social interaction from other sources to make up for it.

Side note, I've never found any medical or otherwise scientific explanation for it, but I am also highly sensitive in many ways. The emotional sensitivity is probably mostly due to the ADHD. However, i am also sensitive to light, sound, tastes, touch, etc. Trying to search for anything about this just leads to a bunch of stuff about "highly sensitive people," which seems to mostly be about the emotional and empathetic side of things.

If what you're seeing continues to be a trend, based on my experience, here's a few things to just keep eye out for:
- rejection sensitivity disphoria; not in the DSM yet, but a recognized collection of symptoms commonly found in those with ADHD
- nose picking/bleeding; that sensitivity to touch includes being able to feel anytime there is the slightest little thing in my nose, so I got a lot of nose bleeds as a kid.
- picky eating; I'm sensitive to strong smells and flavors, so my palate was very limited as a kid. I've partly grown out of it, but only after years of work at finding different ways to prepare things so I can tolerate them. (For example, I can only do cooked tomatoes. They can be in big chunks or slices, but they have to be softened and sweetened by cooking.)
- the combination of ADHD making it hard to form habits and a sensitive gag reflex made brushing my teeth regularly difficult. I still struggle with it as an adult. Finding a more mild toothpaste flavor that I like helped some (Hello brand blue raspberry).
- DSPD, Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. Common among ADHD folks, more likely to show up in the teen years, and some people grow out of it, but not all do. I have had it since early childhood and it persisted to adulthood.
- Wonky sleep schedules also make other daily time-based habits, like tooth brushing difficult. I find I do better linking habitual actions to necessary actions rather than times of day. E.g. taking meds upon waking up and right before going to sleep, and brushing my teeth every time I go to the bathroom.

Here's hoping at least some of the stuff people have offered up in this thread will be helpful. Good luck!

 

[euthymios]

@aegisheart I was a gifted child and I’ve been objectively a rather successful in my career endeavours at a young age. Frankly, I think I flourished because my parents didn’t really know what to do with me, so I was left to explore the world on my own.

The advice I would give from my experience, and what I would follow if my child turns out to be gifted, is to follow his lead on his interests and provide him with emotional support. My parents used me as a performing monkey and acted as though my achievements were demonstrative of their good parenting. That has made me into the anxious perfectionist that I am today. Gentler, more involved parenting is what I believe would have been best.

 

[aegisheart]

@euthymios I'm glad you were able to capitalize on your giftedness. We'd like the same for our son but we also decided for ourselves that we don't care about careers as much as spending time as a family. So whatever he does is fine but success would be nice.
Anxiety, perfectionism, depression, and burnout are the main things we'd like to avoid.