How often do you have date night with your partner?

[syrak]

@jcano Rarely. Last date night was 12/9. Before that it had been probably July? We both work full time plus overtime and it takes too much effort to organize a night out. Most of the time I would rather order takeout and watch a movie together.

 

[clone93]

@jcano We haven’t had a date night since last February.

 

[lizzybo2]

@jcano We do a weekly date night, but that only just started with my parents moving into our neighborhood. The kids are 3 and 6 and we're home to put them to bed so it's not a total night off. It definitely helps though!

 

[chasmate]

@jcano We try to do once a month but it doesn’t always happen. We’re lucky in that my in laws live pretty close and watch her sometimes. Otherwise it’s usually a teacher from her daycare. We also take advantage of holidays that we have off of work but daycare is open. We’ll go out to lunch together. When our daughter was an infant, we did monthly date nights after she went to bed and it was just basically a nice meal and watching a movie together at home.

 

[websterp]

@jcano About once a month! Both of us love dining out and we utilize our families and our nanny a lot. Because bedtime is a little difficult right now with our younger child, we sometimes do an early dinner (like 5pm) so we can be home for bedtime.

 

[sherilyn]

@jcano 1 to 2 month

 

[cbc8171]

@jcano We do date days on our off-fridays. We usually go to lunch, do some shopping, or whatever it may be. These days, any activity without the kids (1 & 4yo) is considered a date .
Sometimes we’ll go out for a drink when my parents come to visit and after the kids are in bed (we live in a different state), but usually we’re too tired to stay out and do the whole dinner & drinks kinda date.

The Fridays we work, we’ll go on a quick lunch date and maybe a drive thru coffee ️

 

[dasiebe]

@jcano We’ve done maybe 4-5 in the 4.5 years we have been parents. Most were in the first year-ish. None during 2020 or 2021. Babysitter is too expensive.

 

[cookiedough7177]

@jcano Never date nights.

Since we both wfh, we do day dates. We don’t have any trusted family nearby or babysitters.

 

[theperfectbone]

@jcano Pretty much we don't. Our last date night was June 2021. My parents were in town for a weekend so my husband and I went out to dinner.

All our family lives out of state and honestly my husband and I find it hard to do solo bedtime for our three kids, so I wouldn't put that on a babysitter. They don't go to bed early enough for us to put them down and then go have a night out.

I know this is just a season. One day they'll be old enough to leave with a babysitter and one day they'll be old enough to leave alone... And one day they'll have left entirely.

 

[one55]

@jcano We try for once a month but usually only make it every other month.

 

[chloe88]

@jcano We aim for once a month, usually a Saturday or Sunday. We ask our nanny to babysit, no pressure on her though. We say it is completely optional.

Friday would be a good alternative if nanny would rather extend her hours instead of coming in on a weekend though.

If we had family nearby, I would want a date night every 2 weeks.

 

[mikeyd0110]

@jcano We had a childfree family dinner at 16 months. That's been it, otherwise lo is with us all the time.

 

[reebern]

@jcano We have a nanny during the week, but have a separate babysitter (college kid, not a professional nanny) who’s our date night sitter. We have a standing agreement that she comes every Saturday 4-8. About once a month something comes up for her or us, and it’s canceled. And probably once a month, we use that time for errands/house projects/ etc. But that means a proper date night about twice a month, which works well for us.

 

[wezo777]

@jcano I’d say 2 times a year for just date night near our home but we’ve done some very short trips/nights away from our daughter for kid free weddings (so far about 2-4 a year for 1-2 days each time). We do not have a nanny or babysitter (we are lucky that family watches her most of the time mixed with preschool)

I also have had to travel internationally for work quite a bit for a week at a time so i don’t like to spend any more time away from her.

 

[hubadub]

@jcano Once a week, we pay our baby sitter to stay long and do an early dinner. Didn’t start doing this weekly until my son was 5 tho. Before that it was once every other month maybe? You are still nursing, your kids are still babies, don’t beat yourself up about having this nailed right now (my thoughts) it’s normal if you don’t get to it very often.

 

[kimberlystambaugh]

@jcano Only once every few months do we get a sitter for an evening away from the kids. But we do other things more frequently. We go out to lunch together during the week. Sometimes we get takeout and do something together at home (watch a movie, play a game, etc ) after the kids go to bed.

 

[stalinlazer]

@jcano Zero

The most we had was date lunch when both me and my husband take a day off from work and our girl at childcare

 

[jsp2003]

@jcano Literally never in 3+ years of parenting, do as I say not as I do… make it a priority, our relationship has suffered so much. You deserve to feel special and loved!

 

[tmp]

@jcano Same day and time every week (2 hour slot) we try a new place in the town we just moved too. It’s a weekday so it’s usually less crowded and we leave after bed time.

As someone else suggested Weekday lunches / coffee is also an option. When we do go to office we work nearby so we grab coffee. On fridays we wfh together so every so often we do lunch.

The weeknight date is our priority though.

So maybe some structure to it might help - you could start with first wed of the month or some other agreed time/day with your nanny .