How often do you have date night with your partner?

@jcano We are lucky to have my in-laws nearby and they are willing to babysit a few times a month if we want to go out somewhere. But also, one thing we implemented last year is Wednesday night date nights at home. We make ourselves dinner after our daughter goes to bed. We make it special because by choosing a fancier meal to cook than we would normally make for a weeknight, maybe get a nice bottle of wine, and play some music. It’s been really fun for us, especially since we really enjoy cooking together.
 
@jcano We do a happy hour every Friday together. We both leave work a little early and have a beer and appetizer together at a local bar or restaurant before getting the baby from daycare. It’s much easier to do it during daycare hours than to worry about hiring a sitter at night. Sometimes we get an hour, sometimes we only get half, but it’s not like getting a beer is a huge time commitment and it’s a regular cadence where we just get to be two adults enjoying time together.
 
@jcano This isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but “date nights” as in let’s dress up and go to a restaurant and bar and come home at 11pm, aren’t really enjoyable for us. My in laws live near us and have offered date night babysitting several times, but we’re much happier staying home, getting delicious takeout, and having some alone time. Like, a night I get to not put on makeup and stay in my PJs and sleep early? Yes please!

Granted, we just have one and she sleeps great in her own room, so we have plenty of opportunities for quality together time at home. I’m sure we’d probably want date nights more if our situation was different.

But to answer your question, the last time we went on a date was to go to the Star Wars matinee showing in December 2019. 😅
 
@jcano We do once a month, but we are lucky to have my mom nearby to help. I love the idea of weekday lunches but I work outside the home (and not super close to our home) so that's not feasible for us really. Sometimes we get an extra night a month, but we try not to go more than a month without a date, even if it's short. If you're worried about asking your nanny, you could ask her while also asking if she has any friends or colleagues who might like to do it, so she doesn't feel pressured to do it herself!
 
@jcano Weekly. Our babysitter is a college student who works at our daycare so she already knows our kids well! We love her. We pay her $15/hr and we’re usually out for 1.5-2 hours, so it’s around $30. She usually comes over around 6:45 and the kids will have already eaten dinner and had a bath, so she just has to put them to bed.

My kids are 2.5 and 5. I’m due with our third in a few weeks so we’ll probably have to take a hiatus for awhile after he’s born.

I used to live by my parents and while they obviously LOVE my kids, it always came off like babysitting was a hassle for them. Then we moved across the country. It’s been great for us to have a babysitter who loves babysitting and appreciates the money.

If you feel bad asking your nanny, then I’d see about finding a different babysitter for date nights.
 
@jcano Can you do a weeknight? I don’t mind staying late to put my nanny kids to bed at all, and once they’re asleep I’m just watching TV or cleaning so it’s not much different than being home. I also don’t mind a weekend but somehow it’s more annoying to go to my NK house than just continue my day at their house.
 
@jcano Two international trips a year, a weekend away every three months, dinner and a show once a month, and weekly dates, even if it’s just us putting our phones away, door dashing dinner, and drinking wine on the couch without any tech. We have both been divorced once, so We will never not make our relationship a priority.
 
@jcano Between his and mine- 7, 10, 12, and 20. So much about divorce sucks, but having no kids every other weekend, and co-parents that allow for vacations is certainly a perk!
 

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