How much parental leave did u take?
- Thread starter aihi
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- dads new dads new parents
@gdsmith Same situation for me. I'm part of a smaller start-up of 5 people, being the only one in my role. Previous jobs I did 2 weeks but this one I'm not even sure how I'm gonna swing that. Might hire out a contractor to fill in, but then I know I'm going to be glued to my phone giving instructions all day.
@aihi My company "offers" only FMLA so it would be unpaid. I ended up banking all my sick and vacation while we were trying and then I took off 3 months. The first two months, then another month when my wife returned to work after 6 months off.
Take off the maximum you can. You'll never get that time back and they grow and change so much so quickly. It's a special time and I wish I had been able to take more. Plus we need to normalize men taking more than a few days or a couple weeks. Many of my friends and family have been taking the max. I think society is finally starting to come around on the idea of men taking time off.
Take off the maximum you can. You'll never get that time back and they grow and change so much so quickly. It's a special time and I wish I had been able to take more. Plus we need to normalize men taking more than a few days or a couple weeks. Many of my friends and family have been taking the max. I think society is finally starting to come around on the idea of men taking time off.
lovelikeyou
New member
@ws371
It's crazy how little some dudes care about their kids/wife's from day one. "Hey I know you just had your vagina ripped open by a watermelon and your internal organs have been completely rearranged and you're likely super depressed from your brain chemistry being altered but ive gotta go. See ya in 9 hours!" Lol
I took 6 months and still felt awful about leaving them after that haha
It's crazy how little some dudes care about their kids/wife's from day one. "Hey I know you just had your vagina ripped open by a watermelon and your internal organs have been completely rearranged and you're likely super depressed from your brain chemistry being altered but ive gotta go. See ya in 9 hours!" Lol
I took 6 months and still felt awful about leaving them after that haha
@lovelikeyou His kids are some of the nicest, most well-brought up kids I’ve met. Time taken off for a newborn doesn’t equate to a good or bad father.
Maybe you make a ton of money and can do that. Many people don’t and can’t take that much time off. If they did, their kids may not be taken care of financially. A bad wife would give their husband crap for trying to support their kids in terms of money.
Maybe you make a ton of money and can do that. Many people don’t and can’t take that much time off. If they did, their kids may not be taken care of financially. A bad wife would give their husband crap for trying to support their kids in terms of money.
lovelikeyou
New member
@ws371
I guess it depends on your definition of "father". If you view the role as a provider you're a pretty bad father for not providing enough to support your wife after one of the most physically and emotionally traumatic experiences a woman can go through.
Its crazy to me now oblivious most guys are these days to how demanding child birth and young children are. I mean, maybe if you're bringing in 6 figures I can see abandoning your wife and child that early. But if you're making peanuts AND not putting in the time when your family needs it most how can you possibly call yourself a man or father? You know?
I guess it depends on your definition of "father". If you view the role as a provider you're a pretty bad father for not providing enough to support your wife after one of the most physically and emotionally traumatic experiences a woman can go through.
Its crazy to me now oblivious most guys are these days to how demanding child birth and young children are. I mean, maybe if you're bringing in 6 figures I can see abandoning your wife and child that early. But if you're making peanuts AND not putting in the time when your family needs it most how can you possibly call yourself a man or father? You know?
@lovelikeyou 3 months off is too much time to take time off if you don’t have enough money to do so. Babies are expensive.
lovelikeyou
New member
@ws371
I guess I'm just old school. In today's world if you want to call yourself a man or a father you should definitely be able to provide your wife with at least 3 months of support. I mean, it takes like .5-1.5 years to recover from child birth. By three months your wife can maybe,if she's really lucky, walk without pain. Then there's the fact she'll be spending 6-8 hours a day just feeding the baby and cleaning herself up from all the surgery related stuff.
If you can't support her through that how are you a man? You know? But maybe I'm just an old school guy.
I guess I'm just old school. In today's world if you want to call yourself a man or a father you should definitely be able to provide your wife with at least 3 months of support. I mean, it takes like .5-1.5 years to recover from child birth. By three months your wife can maybe,if she's really lucky, walk without pain. Then there's the fact she'll be spending 6-8 hours a day just feeding the baby and cleaning herself up from all the surgery related stuff.
If you can't support her through that how are you a man? You know? But maybe I'm just an old school guy.
@lovelikeyou Old school boomer knowledge, so not valid anymore.
lovelikeyou
New member
@ws371 When I said old school I meant attitude, not age lol. I'm 29, took care of my wife and kids after their births both financial and by physically being there for them, bought the house, stock the college fund and UTMAs etc. You know, the old school type of providing.
That's my problem with our generation. Everyone wants to take out the student/house loan they can't afford, have the kid they can't support. Everyone's writing checks they can't cash and expecting everyone else to pay it for them, whether it's the tax payer or their own wife and kids suffering/paying what they couldn't. they just couldn't man up and pay the bills themselves. It's pitiful to me. You know?
That's my problem with our generation. Everyone wants to take out the student/house loan they can't afford, have the kid they can't support. Everyone's writing checks they can't cash and expecting everyone else to pay it for them, whether it's the tax payer or their own wife and kids suffering/paying what they couldn't. they just couldn't man up and pay the bills themselves. It's pitiful to me. You know?
@aihi Paid leave? Zero days lol. I’m a freelancer so I only get paid when I work. And I’m the sole income provider. Not a lot of wiggle there.
I took two weeks off unpaid after #1 and now #2 is due in a few months and I’m hoping to save up enough to do the same. The big silver lining of the pandemic is that I’m %100 remote now so at least I’m around all day every day to help out/bond with them.
I took two weeks off unpaid after #1 and now #2 is due in a few months and I’m hoping to save up enough to do the same. The big silver lining of the pandemic is that I’m %100 remote now so at least I’m around all day every day to help out/bond with them.
justcoolforyou
New member
jeffinjapan
New member
go take it all! @aihi If your company is generous enough to give 15 weeks, they also likely will be flexible enough to break it up to not take it all at once. Do whatever you can to take it all. I get 12 weeks in a very progressive company, so I did 4 weeks off the bat, going back to work until wife runs out of leave and then I’ll take the last 2 months. Couldn’t be more thankful for the time I’m getting