How do you do it

@lisa79 I have a 5 year old son we are in a HCOL city (LA) and I just joined a gym yesterday. Gonna just try to fit time in. The gym has a babysitter for kids and a playroom (that I think might not work for my son) and I’m going to hope for the best lol. Otherwise I bike on the beach and try to play outside with him and run around as much as possible.
 
@lisa79 I have an eight year old and I live in a city where my immediate family and friends are in another city far away. It was so hard at first and then I started posting on a little local community website and the people were very helpful and in need of some assistance in there life as well. I also started reaching out to my sons teachers whom were very helpful also.
I’m other words you have to just put yourself out there, don’t be afraid to look vulnerable, people are more understanding than we think. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, that was hardest thing for me. I am so use to having to do everything on my own that going thru this was a humbling experience to say the least, but worth it, plus, I met some really cool people that are now my close friends.
 
@lisa79 Single mom in grad school while working full time here! You are going to have to enroll in before and after school care to give yourself enough to get to and from work. As for working out, invest in some basic stuff for at home workouts and welcome to the working out at home era! I have a 4 year old and it’s just not feasible to go to the gym at this point.
 
@lisa79 You don’t or you get up super early and workout at home. Being a single mom gives you zero “me time”. It sucks to say but I’ve been a single mom for the last 8 yrs. I can’t even tell you the last time I got my hair cut and/or colored or the last time I’ve bought anything for myself that wasn’t a necessity. BUT I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, don’t have to run decisions by anyone else, the bonding time with my kids has been the best for our relationships and my kids are thriving like never before! I’ll take being a single mom over my kids and I in a toxic environment. Good luck Mama, YOU GOT THIS!!
 
@lisa79 I do my make up at work I’ve gotten it down to 3 minutes! So a quick bathroom break is allowed.

I have workout stuff at home. I do a 20-30 minute workout before I wake up kids or after the youngest has gone to sleep. (I save on gym membership fees!) I pay my bills and if I’m short I use a Cc and figure it out next month. Worst case income tax time I’ll pay off what I feel behind on.

We eat at home a lot. I don’t have cable. If your ex is working with you take all the coparenting they want to do.

My ex is a truck driver so literally never here. My youngest ones dad takes me to court every year so for Christmas I was given a $6k bill and date for court 🫶. He also stopped paying CS in October 🫠

Regardless it all somehow works out and nothing has been shut off thankfully. I have no degree and have had to take my kids to work with me some Saturdays to catch up. I make to much to qualify for any assistance but not enough to have a savings.

It gets easier as they get older. I have 3 kids and the two oldest ones dress themselves and put their dirty clothes in the washer. They help me with the toddler while I cook.

If you have other single mom friends do reach out. They’ve been there done it and might know a short cut. I trade clothes with friends for kids. Know which stores have which items cheaper and stick to a routine.

The biggest thing is time management. Stay on schedule if you can. Best of luck and congrats on finishing school 💕💕💕
 
@lisa79 It’s not easy. But it’s easier than staying in an abusive relationship.

My kids are happier.

For Christmas they got own thing from me and were blessed by others. But they didn’t care. We made cookies and watched every Christmas movie in existence. I did their elf guy. Tbh I think they are actually over Christmas for the first time ever.
 
@lisa79 You adjust, ask for help from anyone that can, and just reorganise your life into a child friendly routine. It’s hard at first but falls into place and you soon realise how much better it is that what it was when in the unhappy relationship.
 
@lisa79 I work out with a local mom group that’s free. The kids all play on the playground while the moms workout and chat. I’ve made valuable friendships while also getting my workout in, I love it! If the weather is bad I’ll do a workout at home instead.

I start work at 6am so my ex does the school drop off and I do pick up. Sometimes just figuring out how to be flexible with each others schedules is the solution, but before or after school care is also an option.

Money is always a struggle, but I have a budget and I stick to it the best I can. The last year of our marriage he was unemployed, so I had a little bit of experience living on just my income.

Good luck! You are doing great!
 
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