How do you do it
- Thread starter lisa79
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drumaddict57
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@lisa79 Find a gym with childcare. LA fitness is $10/month/kid and they will watch them for up to 2 hours a day while you workout. I have 3 kids and was getting very out of shape, but LA fitness kids club has changed my life. I go 3-4x per week for 2 hour and my kids love it. They hate when they have to leave. On the down side, we were perpetually sick for the first month, but now it seems we are immune to everything
@drumaddict57 lol I’m sure their immunity skyrocketed but I feel like that happened to my kid when she started kindergarten too 
that’s actually what I think I’ll end up doing! Thank you!
that’s actually what I think I’ll end up doing! Thank you!horsezgirl
New member
@horsezgirl Thank you so much! Your support, encouragement, and suggestions are so appreciated!
withamightyhand
New member
@lisa79 Room with another parent. That's how I did it. I single parented two kids, 15 years apart. I'm 56 now and have a 15 year old. She can't drive yet but plays competitive volleyball. I opened a school and have to teach evenings. I will barter my extra room to somebody who can drive her to practice two days a week plus do some house keeping.
Always have an extra room to rent. I get $600 a month for my extra room. It can be used for $, barter for childcare, or barter for whatever. That's how I have been able to do it . That's the only way I've been able to do it.
I managed to buy rental houses as a solo parent with no child support. If you can get a place with two rooms to rent, do it and pay zero rent. Plus, you can write a bunch of stuff off your taxes that way and control whether your income appears high or low depending on what you need.
Always have an extra room to rent. I get $600 a month for my extra room. It can be used for $, barter for childcare, or barter for whatever. That's how I have been able to do it . That's the only way I've been able to do it.
I managed to buy rental houses as a solo parent with no child support. If you can get a place with two rooms to rent, do it and pay zero rent. Plus, you can write a bunch of stuff off your taxes that way and control whether your income appears high or low depending on what you need.
@lisa79 What helps me a lot is having some stored preplanned low-key activities. So when I do have a headache, or I am sick or simply feeling lower than usual, I have an easy to set up activity to distract for a while. My “me time” is when my tiny goes to sleep. And she does Yoga with me - I incorporate her into my workouts.
For context, my tiny is 4.
For context, my tiny is 4.
@lisa79 So first thing’s first—don’t let yourself go. That’s the important thing I want to say here. No, you don’t stop existing because you’re a single parent. You don’t stop mattering. I fucking hate when people confidently look at single parents and go, “Your life isn’t about you anymore”. Why yes, yes it is, and I’ve always planned on making sure that was true no matter what.
I coparent with my son’s dad. We’ve basically got 50/50 custody. My son is 2, and basically it all boils down to being smart, efficient, and having a system. Like I pick one night a week where I meal prep for like 3/4 days. I’ll make breakfasts, lunches, and dinners for a few days in a row so I can just come home and microwave something. It’s actually pretty good. Nice n easy, and then not cooking means I can journal or workout or do whatever while my son watches his cartoons.
My son has a lot of fun just playing on his own. I’m always going to the dollar store to find new stuff to add to his toy box so he’s got cute little surprises to come home to here and there. I save going out on trips for weekends, so during the weekdays we stay local and hang out at home. I usually take him to the park and make sure he gets a good run (which also benefits me) so he knocks out by his specific bedtime (9PM) so I can do my school stuff. I’m studying 24/7 when he isn’t with me, and when he is, I do most of my studying and reviewing early morning/late night.
Make sure you keep buying little self care products for yourself! Journal, take nice baths, and don’t forget make up in the morning! Nothing is sexier than a mama who’s got it together
I coparent with my son’s dad. We’ve basically got 50/50 custody. My son is 2, and basically it all boils down to being smart, efficient, and having a system. Like I pick one night a week where I meal prep for like 3/4 days. I’ll make breakfasts, lunches, and dinners for a few days in a row so I can just come home and microwave something. It’s actually pretty good. Nice n easy, and then not cooking means I can journal or workout or do whatever while my son watches his cartoons.
My son has a lot of fun just playing on his own. I’m always going to the dollar store to find new stuff to add to his toy box so he’s got cute little surprises to come home to here and there. I save going out on trips for weekends, so during the weekdays we stay local and hang out at home. I usually take him to the park and make sure he gets a good run (which also benefits me) so he knocks out by his specific bedtime (9PM) so I can do my school stuff. I’m studying 24/7 when he isn’t with me, and when he is, I do most of my studying and reviewing early morning/late night.
Make sure you keep buying little self care products for yourself! Journal, take nice baths, and don’t forget make up in the morning! Nothing is sexier than a mama who’s got it together
cuddlybear
New member
@cuddlybear Not the place for this buddy. The last thing women here are looking for is another headache and time commitment
katrina2017
New member
@lisa79 ….if you both can dedicate so much time for yourselves in attaining your goals, than you both can work it out. You just ain’t trying the way you supposed to. U will never be happy if you leave your man. Children are hard. But worth the stress. No amount of money or school will ever give you the happiness of watching your kids grow up to be better than u. You both will literally work just as hard to facilitate a divorce and agreement than choosing to stay together and really focus. So both of you, get out of your little mid life crisis of thinking you’re still young. Let your child have a fair shot with a complete family. She didn’t ask to be born. You guys made that happen. Now you guys are giving up. That’s weak.
@katrina2017 This is extraordinarily condescending and rude. You know nothing about OPs circumstances. I wish I would have left my ex way before my daughter was old enough to remember. It would have saved her a lot of trauma.
katrina2017
New member
@snappyj They’re separated yet live together.
They co-parent while separated in the same house.
Their daughter who is 5, is with mommy and daddy in the same house.
U foolishly don’t know what life will be like for the daughter separating her from her father into a home with what seems to be an already panicky mother. That’s not a stable plan. So don’t make this thread about your own experiences and assume I’m condescending. I’m being real. Kids will be traumatized either way as well as miss out on a complete home.
If your daughter could have been saved from “so much trauma” than you’re to blame as well. It takes 2 to tango. So buck up and accept the responsibility of becoming better people for the wholesome of the family or quit right away and be better people apart. Don’t stay and cause trauma. And don’t leave and cause trauma. Fix yourself and make a wise decision.
They co-parent while separated in the same house.
Their daughter who is 5, is with mommy and daddy in the same house.
U foolishly don’t know what life will be like for the daughter separating her from her father into a home with what seems to be an already panicky mother. That’s not a stable plan. So don’t make this thread about your own experiences and assume I’m condescending. I’m being real. Kids will be traumatized either way as well as miss out on a complete home.
If your daughter could have been saved from “so much trauma” than you’re to blame as well. It takes 2 to tango. So buck up and accept the responsibility of becoming better people for the wholesome of the family or quit right away and be better people apart. Don’t stay and cause trauma. And don’t leave and cause trauma. Fix yourself and make a wise decision.
@katrina2017 Your comment history confirms your delusional mindset. Just because I used the work “panicking” in my post, doesn’t mean I’m “panicky”. YOU foolishly don’t know my circumstances or what life would be like if we STAY together. Continue on with your miserable life but stop trying to bring others down in the process.
@katrina2017 Your post history is sad. Seems like you seem to enjoy taking aim at everyone else while all you need is attention. You’re just an incel. You want a wife and kids and nobody wants to do that with you. Who is projecting now?
Edited to say… when you can spell correctly, others may take you more seriously.
Edited to say… when you can spell correctly, others may take you more seriously.
@katrina2017 How dare you think a MAN is what makes us happy! I’ve been a single mom for 8 yrs, and I’ve NEVER been happier. Happy mom = happy kids. Staying in a toxic situation is the worst thing you can do for your children and most times, we’re already married single moms bc the men do absolutely nothing but create more work. It’s like having another child. Your comment and misogynistic, toxic attitude explains exactly why we choose to leave
@katrina2017 AND let me add, my CHILDREN HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER OR THRIVED MORE SINCE MY EX AND I DIVORCED 8 YRS AGO. So it looks like YOU DONT have a clue abt what you think you do.