@lisa79 Unless you have support, you aren’t going to be doing much extraneous stuff. If you have support, kid’s dad or someone else you trust with your kid, you should have more free time to do such things.
In regards to school, some schools have after school programs. Most cost money, but that’s going to be your only choice (other than more expensive daycare) unless you have someone who will be able to pick up and care for your kid.
I work from home, but have my kids 100% of the time. I try and go hiking during my lunch break while the kids are at school. Also, mine are 10 and 15, so I could leave them home alone together if I really needed to, which I very rarely do.
@lisa79 No easy answers unfortunately and you’re going to have to make sacrifices now. Keep your child priority 1 bc she is and will be. One day you’ll get your life back again but it will take time. We have fun n friends here, a before and after school program for young children. Some gyms offer childcare. When choosing your apartment make sure commute time is high priority. Utilize friends or family, you’ll need a support system. Your ex is willing to coparent, that’s huge. I raised three completely alone bc he left state to start a new family. It’s not easy but it’s worth it. Good luck.
@lisa79 Can you go to the gym on your lunch break? Can you work out at home when she goes to bed? Do you have a friend who can come over after she is asleep so you can go to the gym? Make some mom friends in a similar boat, maybe find a FB group in your area or a MeetUp group. You may find other mother’s who need help with something that you’re able to help with, in exchange they can help you with something you need help with, drop offs/pick ups, baby sitting, etc. Just adjust your expectations. You’re gonna be fine. Is there a school bus? What about a gym with a child care center inside? What about a 24 hr gym?
@monoxidial These are all great ideas. I work in healthcare so lunchtime isn’t always possible but I think a mixture of the ideas you proposed will make it possible! Thank you!
@lisa79 It can feel super overwhelming at first. These are also problems shared by SAHM’s who always have their kids! You got this and will figure it out there are solutions for everything! Just have to be creative!
@monoxidial Yes, you’re right. Many mamas in many situations deal with these issues. Thank you so much for your support and kindness! I really appreciate it!
@lisa79 Find an apartment complex that has a gym, network with other parents for drop off pick ups etc, sit down and write a budget and stick to it, get rid of unnecessary things like cable tv, research alternatives to internet ie hot spots etc to save money, clip coupons and shop deals, thrift store clothes, look into early drop off programs at school or rec programs, one thing at a time. It can get very overwhelming very quickly. You got this momma
@anthonyprice Thank you so much for the supportive response. I think that taking it a day at a time and trying not to overthink it is the best way to approach this. I have to calm myself down lol.
@lisa79 I’m part of a Facebook page for making mom friends in my city. You could try looking for a similar page, and try to find other moms with similar interests. That way, you can take turns watching each others kids in the evenings, and have some alone time. Making space for your own hobbies is sooo important.
@lisa79 I get a long enough lunch break that I try and go to the gym on my lunch yes it means shoveling food in my face on the drive back and being kind of gross for the rest of my shift but. I have no coparent it's just me I use to love being able to go to the gym for an hr or more or long runs. Those just aren't a possibility right now.
@devastated Yeah, but Lifetime is like over $200/month lol. A little out of my budget I think but I believe another facility has a kids corner too for a lot less. Thank you for the idea though!
@lisa79 I just do the best I can. It's just my son and I where we are. Family aren't close. I try and do activities with my son that may involve physical activity. That way I'm still getting my exercise. I don't have many friends now as I have bailed on many plans. I have full custody and there will be days or nights where you will be exhausted and tired. It's OK. Raising a kid alone was never the plan and is not meant for one person. I have been struggling with some bills but I do keep them updated and some times I get a person who is also a single parent and gets it. Always try to plan ahead. And I'd you kiddo gets sick make sure to try and get as much done around the house before you get sick so when you are better it's not as overwhelming. This is something I learned to do recently as I am a full-time student as well. I just keep telling myself in a few years it won't be this hard. My son is going to get older and I won't have to stress about daycare fees and babysitters. I am content with it being us. But I also wish I had some help. Sorry. It's a bit all over the place. I've been a single mom since the day he was born.
@sonata17 I’m sorry mama. In case no one has told you lately, you’re doing great. Keep up the good work. And that’s what I’m telling myself too, she’ll be older one day and it’ll be easier. Unfortunately, I was basically doing everything on my own even when I was with her dad, so I think it’ll actually be less frustrating to be alone with her and not have to see him sitting around doing nothing while I’m doing everything lol.
@lisa79 some gyms have childcare if that’s something you would be comfortable with! my friend has two little ones around 5 and they LOVE it and she gets a full work out every day
@lisa79 Work out at home or find a gym that has childcare available which is usually a cost. I solo patented for a year with a newborn and 2 older kids. During that time I got sick, take the kids to school and their extracurriculars, clean and cook, run errands, and even had neck pain so badly that I had to get steroid injections bc I couldn’t move my neck. But I still got out of bed and drove and patented. You can do this.
there are solutions for everything! Just have to be creative!