How do I set my wife up in a realistic way for our twins arrival in Jan…

[cinder7]

This may be a strange one…
We are having twins in Jan, c section booked.
Our singletons were 10 lbs at 40+1 and 8 lbs 7 oz planned c section at 38+2.
Her body didn’t start labor at all with our first, they tried to induce her for 4 days due to our kids size but no luck and offered her a c section.

She’s “demanding” that she makes it to 38 weeks or longer if an @spiritualtranscendence doesn’t show that these babies are 7 lbs 6-8oz minimum…says she will go on bed rest or do whatever is required but I don’t think that’s how it works?

How realistic is this? Are twins ever this big?? I see in a lot of the multiples groups that they are often a lot smaller…
I’ve been trying to be supportive while trying to explain she needs to be realistic at the same time…
Maybe this is stupid to ask but I really want to keep her grounded should something go wrong or not go to her plan.

Edit to add comments:
Firstly thank you everyone!! Based on comments, I think her plan is possible but not probable! We are having di/di twins, and yes, obviously support her as much as possible no matter what the outcome — I think with twins we need to learn to expect the unexpected! We have GREAT medical care and a ton of family support close by… just ordered the book “When You’re Expecting Twins…”

 

[faithgirlfl]

@cinder7 Just pack the bag and have it ready to go now. That way, if they do come early you are already prepared.
Edit grammar

 

[archieraptor]

@faithgirlfl Yes, I like this take. Have your partner’s back on this. It’s okay if she’s wrong. You’ll be ready just in case. Time will tell soon enough, and then it won’t matter.

 

[cinder7]

@faithgirlfl Yes… and I keep responding with what will be, will be, let’s just hope for healthy babies… but she’s stuck on this in her mind so I thought I’d see what folks on this sub had to say!
You’re exactly right! Pack the bag! That being said I didn’t really pack ahead of time for our singles so maybe I should plan better this time around lol

 

[jdstfdhjjh]

@cinder7 My twins were 7 lbs 8 oz and 6 lbs 15 oz. I made it to my scheduled c section at 38+1. They are 30 pounds now (99th percentile) at 16 months.

The doctor told me they weren’t coming out unless we dragged them out (no signs of labor for me) and because one was breech and I was a first time mom she wasn’t comfortable recommending vaginal birth and thought there was a very good chance I’d get twin a out vaginally but need a c section for twin b (breech, up higher, and the bigger baby). No way in hell I was doing both so elective c section it was.

 

[debbiesue]

@jdstfdhjjh I think WE are twins!

Same situation with me: Baby A was head-down the entire pregnancy; Baby B was breech. I was a first-time older (38) mother (no previous pregnancies nor births) and my doctor told me the same thing, so I had a scheduled C-section at 37.2. Honestly, however, I feel like I could have gone a few more days, and like you, I had no signs of labor and the kiddos weren't trying to leave their cozy nest, LOL!

Both of my twins were about 7.8 oz. I'm 5'10 and hubby is 6'5 so, we were expecting big babies.

Hang in there, OP. Sounds like your wife is doing well; just keep the bags packed. Sending good wishes your way.

 

[ksmom4]

@debbiesue Wow! I'm your triplet I'm 5' 10" and my husband is 6' 8". Our twins were 7 lbs and 6 lb 14 oz.

 

[debbiesue]

@ksmom4 Ha!!!!

Tall couples in the house, WOOT WOOT!!! I love it!

 

[redrabbit]

@jdstfdhjjh Mine were about the same, 7 lbs 5 and 6 lbs 4, scheduled c-section at 38+0.

As others have said OP, pack the bag, be ready to go at any point, bring a phone charger and your wife’s toothbrush to any doctor’s appointment because you just do not know if you’ll be sent to get them out for one reason or the other.

 

[karenrose3388]

@redrabbit Haha, this pretty much happened to me. Doc sent me to the hospital to check on preeclampsia symptoms and then came out of there holding two babies in my arms a few days later.

 

[andrewmc1992]

@cinder7 I'd set a goal to have the bag packed by mid- November.

unrelated side note does she have a belly support belt? She's going to need it if she wants to carry 15+lbs of babies.

 

[toddwott]

@cinder7 I was quite stubborn in the same regard and put up a fuss that they let me keep my babies until 38 weeks. Ended up having an emergency c-section at 30 weeks and while it was hard for me to adjust my idea of what I wanted at the end of the day what was best for my babies was most important. I think it’s easy for us to let ideals get the best of us and try to ignore anything other than our own ideas but at the end of the day, once our babies are born healthy and alive that all that matters. I think it’s sweet that you’re worried about her but I think you just need to try let it go as long as you have decent medical care.

 

[sofialo09]

@cinder7

I didn’t really pack ahead of time for our singles so maybe I should plan better this time around

It might help for you both to line up more support this time around, as twins are 3x as demanding as a singleton

 

[cinder7]

@sofialo09 Thanks, good idea!! We are very lucky to live around a lot of family and friends ready to help!!

 

[sofialo09]

@cinder7 That's great! Physiotherapy is likely going to be much more needed for your wife this time around, and she'll be way more drained and need more rest due to the larger size of the uterine wound from the placenta ripping away.

 

[crownfair]

@faithgirlfl I liked having two bags packed. A “I have to go in and get extra tests since something is going on” but only thought I’d be at the hospital for half a day, and then the real go bag. The separate bag made it easy for me to drive myself to NSTs and such that take forever and have entertainment

 

[lazar]

@faithgirlfl This! I didn’t have a bag packed and I went into labor at 33 weeks. I didn’t know it was labor, and went to the hospital out of an abundance of caution, when I got there, I was 7cm and my water had broken. So we didn’t have anything with us at the hospital. I was determined to make it to 38 weeks and was doing everything I could to not go early. Literally went from 0cm and nothing wrong on a Thursday at my doctors appt and then moving to Sunday with surprise labor and babies in my arms within 2 hours of arriving at the hospital.

 

[lap4418]

@cinder7 My mo/do twins were 7 lbs, 1 ounce and 7 pounds, 2 ounces when born at 37 weeks. At nine months old they are both 24 pounds.

It’s possible but I wasn’t counting on it. My hope was that would be at least 5. We just got lucky. Also, I was so miserable by the end that the thought of going one extra day felt impossible.

 

[cinder7]

@lap4418 Ours are di/di … but back to you, like you had over 14 lbs of baby in you!! It just sounds painful!!!!

 

[oaky]

@cinder7 Mine are mo/di as well (we got to 36+6), but our friend's di/di babies went to 37 weeks with a total of 13 pounds of baby. She was miserable, yes, but she was also determined (stubborn - lol).

I wanted to get them to a safe and healthy "as long as possible" date. It's different with mo/di verses di/di, but I understand her drive. You just can't let the desire outweigh the reality. Every pregnancy journey is different and I found solace in taking it as it came and crossing every bridge as we came upon it.

The panic is real, but it sounds like you two want the best for them and you for mom. Keep with that mantra and you'll be fine. Good luck and welcome to the club!!!