@johnon2wheels I just got into caffeine. Holy cow this stuff is lovely.
How did my mom do it
- Thread starter j2019
- Start date
@j2019 I think part of it has to do with a persons personality. My mom didn’t work out of the home until I was older but she always felt that if my dad was at work then she should be working that entire time at home. I definitely don’t have that same philosophy (I work in health care so I often have random days off in the week.)
I also think a lot of it has to do with the distractions that are available to us during the day. I get sucked into social media, streaming shows, etc and before I know it hours are gone. Our parents didn’t have those options.
A lot can be said about 80s parents. But for one we never had water bottles etc to keep track of. Do you know how much time I spend washing bottles, looking for bottles, reminding kids about their bottles??? This time could be much better used.
I also think a lot of it has to do with the distractions that are available to us during the day. I get sucked into social media, streaming shows, etc and before I know it hours are gone. Our parents didn’t have those options.
A lot can be said about 80s parents. But for one we never had water bottles etc to keep track of. Do you know how much time I spend washing bottles, looking for bottles, reminding kids about their bottles??? This time could be much better used.
baselineleaner
New member
@j2019 I’m a night shift nurse with 2 littles and a husband who works a normal 9-5. I am also the daughter of a nightshift nurse who when I was a kid seemingly had things perfect and all together- homemade meals, volunteered in my class, had a spotless home, etc. Now as an adult she has shared with me what a stressful and difficult time it was. I think your mom might be seeing the past with rose colored glasses because truly the sleep deprivation alone from being up 36 hours at a time to care for children is taxing.
Keeping things perfect doesn’t mean having it together.
Keeping things perfect doesn’t mean having it together.
christpoems
New member
@j2019 I don't think parents back then spent nearly as much time with their kids as parents do now. I don't have a lot of memories of my parents playing with me. We did family activities sometimes on the weekends. But I remember many times just sitting on the couch watching movies with them. I think now there's a huge added pressure with social media where we feel like we need to be doing it all. Maybe your mom did keep a spotless house but she wasn't sitting down with you to play for an hour every day. Also I will say a lot of mothers are suffering from lack of good nutrition, so that might be something worth considering and looking into. Being postpartum you definitely need more certain nutrients to get you back to a better baseline and a lot of us are not there because the education is not there. Postpartum fatigue is very real but it could be helped with better maternal nutrition.
idromos247
New member
unforgiven1
New member
@j2019 Could it be she just doesn't remember or isn't willing to admit the struggle she went through?
My parents are wonderful parents. They were engaged and supportive and both had demanding careers and our house was spotless, they fed us great homemade food, etc. Etc. (Lord, my mom even irons her jeans). When I had my daughter I broke down to my mom about 10 months in on how I just couldn't be the mom she was - that she was so perfect and I struggle so much with all the mom and career and household stuff. She hugged me and told me it was all really hard and as a kid, I just didn't even know the work that went into all that or the help she got. That she would break down to her mom and then grandma would come over to play or clean or help out. That we had cleaners and nannies on and off I didn't remember and that she often didn't sleep a wink or was so bone tired she'd just sit in her car and cry. I had no clue any of that happened. I was so grateful she opened my eyes that she wasn't perfect and never felt perfect and was instead very real and human. It's hard. I'm sure it was hard for your mama too. I wish she could be kinder and offer more emotional support to you.
My parents are wonderful parents. They were engaged and supportive and both had demanding careers and our house was spotless, they fed us great homemade food, etc. Etc. (Lord, my mom even irons her jeans). When I had my daughter I broke down to my mom about 10 months in on how I just couldn't be the mom she was - that she was so perfect and I struggle so much with all the mom and career and household stuff. She hugged me and told me it was all really hard and as a kid, I just didn't even know the work that went into all that or the help she got. That she would break down to her mom and then grandma would come over to play or clean or help out. That we had cleaners and nannies on and off I didn't remember and that she often didn't sleep a wink or was so bone tired she'd just sit in her car and cry. I had no clue any of that happened. I was so grateful she opened my eyes that she wasn't perfect and never felt perfect and was instead very real and human. It's hard. I'm sure it was hard for your mama too. I wish she could be kinder and offer more emotional support to you.