He changed his mind and I cried myself to sleep just to wake up more upset

[lostchildnomore]

@charlyrich tw: mention of previous pregnancy

I've felt this. My husband did almost the same thing around this time of year. We were out to eat and he mentioned how he would probably like to start having kids soon so we wouldn't be raising them too long into his retirement. I asked when he wanted to start and he said in december. I got excited, as this was about half a year after tfpr.

That December rolls around and then he tells me that no, he doesn't want to try and we don't have the money for it. I was devastated, to say the least. That was two years ago and when I tell him not to do that again when our grad date comes around he says it never happened a first time. He forgot how he shut me down like that. I was so angry. So while it wasn't as sudden, I still know the pain you feel from stewing with excitement and then just being shut down. It hurts.

 

[charlyrich]

@lostchildnomore I’m so sorry you’ve felt this hurt before as well. I’m most definitely going to put my foot down, just as you did, and let him know that once a timeline is set we are sticking to it. I can’t even imagine the sadness and thought of missing out that I’m going to feel though if I do have to wait many months. When Christmas comes I’m going to be thinking “I wish we could announce it now during such a joyous time.”

 

[lostchildnomore]

@charlyrich Be strong and firm. Your feelings about the matter are as valid as his, and I hope your timeline gets nailed down -- hopefully set before mine arrives. The last two-three years of longing have been hard. If you want to vent or anything, my dms are open and I'm always free to listen.

 

[charlyrich]

@lostchildnomore Thank you so much! Do you mind me asking how you cope with waiting? I want to try because I feel ready at this time in my life. I’ve gotten older and I really cannot stand the idea of living to work. That’s all it feels like right now. Like I’m working to maybe enjoy a good book on the weekend? For the most part I’m just bored living my life for myself. Although I may be the only one that feels like that. Please feel free for any input!