@nazpastor sounds like bs
Got an 'answer' for my "next level" velcro baby. I was too stressed while pregnant.
familyhonors
New member
@nazpastor Uhhhh I don’t know about that. I was incredibly stressed during my pregnancy (being pressured to abort amongst a lot of other stuff) and I do not have a Velcro baby. I’d take that with a grain of salt.
@nazpastor I have had severe ocd and anxiety for all of my life and i was on Prozac for my entire pregnancy and breastfeeding journey. I can not live a normal life without my medication so my OB and I decided the benefits outweighed any possible harm.
My baby is not a velcro baby. She is perfectly content being with other people and or playing by herself.
Idk what an mcn stands for but they sound pretty stupid.
My baby is not a velcro baby. She is perfectly content being with other people and or playing by herself.
Idk what an mcn stands for but they sound pretty stupid.
andrew4021
New member
@nazpastor I had a pretty stress free pregnancy, besides just some normal stress and anxiety, and if my 1 year old could crawl UNDER my skin she would. Her whole life she has been wanting to be held and would only contact nap for the first 6 months of her life. We’re slowly fostering some independence now that she’s a little bit older.
Personality wise she is the complete opposite of me, I’m very straight forward and independent and she wears her heart on her sleeve and always wants to be around people. I always tell my husband she will simultaneously be my greatest challenge and my greatest accomplishment in life.
You haven’t done anything wrong. It may be your baby’s personality or it may just be a phase. Either way, it WILL get better. He may outgrow it or you may have to slowly practice some independence or time with someone else. Don’t ever beat yourself up over household tasks not getting done. This is a phase of your life as well will get better with time.
Personality wise she is the complete opposite of me, I’m very straight forward and independent and she wears her heart on her sleeve and always wants to be around people. I always tell my husband she will simultaneously be my greatest challenge and my greatest accomplishment in life.
You haven’t done anything wrong. It may be your baby’s personality or it may just be a phase. Either way, it WILL get better. He may outgrow it or you may have to slowly practice some independence or time with someone else. Don’t ever beat yourself up over household tasks not getting done. This is a phase of your life as well will get better with time.
@nazpastor This is wrong. My MiL is always telling me not to get stressed because it’s bad for the baby and I think this is just utter crap! How are you supposed to make yourself magically calm when stressful things happen during a time that is stressful and emotional? And even with everything going right it would be stressful! I just can’t even!
@nazpastor I had diagnosed perinatal depression and anxiety with my first to the point where people in my life were worried I would run away. Baby came out (I felt better) and my baby, now 4.5 yo, was always super independent. If anything she didn't seem to like me at all which I blamed myself for being depressed while pregnant. But I know now that it's not realistic.
Hand the baby to your husband and pop in ear plugs. Let him take charge of soothing and start building that bond. Baby wear as much as possible to give that sense of closeness but also being able to be productive.
But also... Can't your husband put away the laundry? I hate how my husband folds clothes but the first year of a baby is really survival mode. It's okay if things are done a little differently
Hand the baby to your husband and pop in ear plugs. Let him take charge of soothing and start building that bond. Baby wear as much as possible to give that sense of closeness but also being able to be productive.
But also... Can't your husband put away the laundry? I hate how my husband folds clothes but the first year of a baby is really survival mode. It's okay if things are done a little differently
katrina2017
New member
@nazpastor I also have a velcro/high needs baby. I hoped that he would be like his brother. Calm, sleeping alone…instead I have a baby whoseda screaming and crying reaches a decibel level of 120 (it’s really painful), cries when I leave him for 10 seconds, cries when I put him in his bassinet. He’s almost 3 months and still only wants to sleep either on our chest or cuddled up next to us. I have to carry him in a sling for most hours of the day. Reason why he’s a velcro? According to my midwife: “It’s because you were induced and he wasn’t ready to come out yet. Also because they got him out with the ventouse/vacuum cup.” Bull…
Pediatrician said that some babies are like this for no reason at all. He even feels sorry for me and hopes that it gets better IN A FEW MONTHS. I love my baby but I’m slowly spiralling into madness. Does my husband help? Yes, during the weekend. He has to sleep in the barracks of an NCO school from Sunday evening to Thursday evening and comes back on Friday evening. I can at least recover during the weekend. Also 2 under 2, when one of them is a velcro is a living nightmare. But I love them so much.
Pediatrician said that some babies are like this for no reason at all. He even feels sorry for me and hopes that it gets better IN A FEW MONTHS. I love my baby but I’m slowly spiralling into madness. Does my husband help? Yes, during the weekend. He has to sleep in the barracks of an NCO school from Sunday evening to Thursday evening and comes back on Friday evening. I can at least recover during the weekend. Also 2 under 2, when one of them is a velcro is a living nightmare. But I love them so much.
vintagewarrior
New member
@nazpastor Eff that noise. It’s nothing you did! Babies have their own personalities, and some want more contact than others. My third absolutely marinated in cortisol during my pregnancy thanks to trying to work a very demanding job with no childcare during the pandemic, and she’s the least clingy of my kids. 
sheamusofcountycork
New member
@nazpastor That’s ridiculous.
I went through severe prolonged emotional trauma starting from basically when my daughter was implanted, but really ramped up at 6 weeks. I was sobbing and could barely eat for weeks, and for months I was extremely anxious, sad, and miserable. I still have some low level PTSD from when I went through.
My daughter is no way a Velcro baby. She’s a super happy healthy toddler now and was previously a happy healthy baby who always slept independently aside from a few months of contact naps.
Baby temperament is just luck of the draw.
I went through severe prolonged emotional trauma starting from basically when my daughter was implanted, but really ramped up at 6 weeks. I was sobbing and could barely eat for weeks, and for months I was extremely anxious, sad, and miserable. I still have some low level PTSD from when I went through.
My daughter is no way a Velcro baby. She’s a super happy healthy toddler now and was previously a happy healthy baby who always slept independently aside from a few months of contact naps.
Baby temperament is just luck of the draw.
@nazpastor Yeah that's a bunch of bull. Both my pregnancies were very stressful but my second more so. I spent basically the last month of my second pregnancy in and out of the hospital for preterm labor, infections, etc. My baby came early because of preeclampsia. He is not a velcro baby and only just recently at 8 months cries when I put him down because he's going into the separation anxiety age. Before this he has always been happy as a clam to just hang out doing his own thing.
Some babies are just higher needs (which sucks) but it's nothing to do with anything we did or didn't do during pregnancy birth or after. It's just a personality thing the same as some adults are needier than others
Some babies are just higher needs (which sucks) but it's nothing to do with anything we did or didn't do during pregnancy birth or after. It's just a personality thing the same as some adults are needier than others
sammierose18
New member
@nazpastor Even if it were true, which I doubt, it wouldn’t mean you failed your baby. It would mean that you have gone through a really hard time and you deserve a lot of support and love. Wishing you well.
@nazpastor Lol I had a perfect pregnancy and little stress and my baby was velcro baby. Still is at 4.5 years.
bible_student
New member
@nazpastor I had a very happy mostly low stress, free of medical issues pregnancy. This girl is a velcro baby. Even at nearly 7 months, while shes gained more and more independence, she still loves being held by momma.
You’re still at the hard stage, it should start to get easier around 4 months when they become more aware. Daycare also helped my girl become more independent (she started at 5.5months) and she absolutely loves it there. You need a break, maybe you can find a part time daycare situation. You should see how excited babies get to see each other, its absolutely adorable.
You’re still at the hard stage, it should start to get easier around 4 months when they become more aware. Daycare also helped my girl become more independent (she started at 5.5months) and she absolutely loves it there. You need a break, maybe you can find a part time daycare situation. You should see how excited babies get to see each other, its absolutely adorable.
@nazpastor I disagree 100%, I mean, my baby is a velcro baby, and she needs to be touching me always. Due to being high risk physically ( had lots of miscarriages before this pregnancy) I only worked full-time hours for a trimester and a half. Then, went down to half hours for the second half of second trimester. In my third trimester, I was home full time. All I did was relax and focus on my hobbies. My husband did all the cleaning and kept me well fed. My job was a bit stressful, but there was minimal stress for the majority of my pregnancy, yet I have an Uber clingy baby.
I understand the stress of having a super needy and clingy baby as I have one. But do not for a minute think it is because of anything you did. It's just her personality. I hope they outgrow it.
I understand the stress of having a super needy and clingy baby as I have one. But do not for a minute think it is because of anything you did. It's just her personality. I hope they outgrow it.
cabinmom2012
New member
@nazpastor Get your husband to do the laundry, and wash the sheets, and everything else you can’t get done due to the baby. It’s normal for the baby to want mostly you. Many dads don’t feel bonded until several months later or toddlerhood when kids are more easily engaged and don’t need Mama so much, so try not to worry about them bonding - there’s plenty of time for that. The dad’s role in the beginning is to fill in where mom needs him. Sometimes that’s feeding or managing the baby, and sometimes it’s taking over the housework.
@nazpastor My mom was 7-8 months pregnant with my sister while I was in the hospital for 6 weeks, with changing diagnoses like “it’s cancer” “jk it’s something else but we don’t know” all while trying to keep the bills paid and my other sister fed and taken care of. Needless to say, an insane amount of stress. Baby was born happy healthy and without a Velcro-level desire for attachment.
I’m so sorry they said this to you
I’m so sorry they said this to you
Also, during my own pregnancy I had a family member die in my third trimester. And work was so stressful. But my baby is so happy and equally attached to daddy and me! But she loves independent play, sitting in her bouncer, and is a great sleeper.
This isn’t me rubbing it in your face but just giving an anecdote on why what they said makes no sense!!
This isn’t me rubbing it in your face but just giving an anecdote on why what they said makes no sense!!
@nazpastor I won’t believe it until I see ACTUAL research on this.
kingrandyharts
New member
@nazpastor If that were true, my Oct 2020 baby would be an absolute basket case. I got pregnant before the world changed. Spent my pregnancy an absolute mess. What kind of world was I bringing this kid into!????
And then the first 9 months of his life were lockdown. I thought he'd be mute. He was exposed to almost no people. No outings. Barely leaving the house.
Anyways. He's absolutely fine. I have no idea what an MNC is, but fire them.
And then the first 9 months of his life were lockdown. I thought he'd be mute. He was exposed to almost no people. No outings. Barely leaving the house.
Anyways. He's absolutely fine. I have no idea what an MNC is, but fire them.
deogracias
New member
@nazpastor LOL
I’m so sorry she made you feel guilty, but that’s a load of crap. Again, sorry, but I just have to laugh a bit. Where do they come up with this stuff?!?
Not only is there no science behind what she said, I know plenty of folks with non-stressful pregnancies have extra-attached babies and the opposite (stressful pregnancies with “easy” babies as well). The truth is, it’s mainly just nature > nurture - baby is gonna be like the baby is! And all you can do is be supportive which is what you’re already doing.
Btw IF we are being charitable and somehow assuming this a grain of truth to this, she’s clearly missing a confounding factor… which is that folks who had a stressful pregnancy, have a high likelihood they have a stressful life in general (including post-pregnancy) and that may also affect maybe his mood but definitely the parents’ perception of his mood (because… they’re super stressed!). So the only advice I’d have there is, take care of yourself now, and probably the place I’d try to start by telling myself to not listen to silly made-up conjectures from folks like that MCN
I’m so sorry she made you feel guilty, but that’s a load of crap. Again, sorry, but I just have to laugh a bit. Where do they come up with this stuff?!?
Not only is there no science behind what she said, I know plenty of folks with non-stressful pregnancies have extra-attached babies and the opposite (stressful pregnancies with “easy” babies as well). The truth is, it’s mainly just nature > nurture - baby is gonna be like the baby is! And all you can do is be supportive which is what you’re already doing.
Btw IF we are being charitable and somehow assuming this a grain of truth to this, she’s clearly missing a confounding factor… which is that folks who had a stressful pregnancy, have a high likelihood they have a stressful life in general (including post-pregnancy) and that may also affect maybe his mood but definitely the parents’ perception of his mood (because… they’re super stressed!). So the only advice I’d have there is, take care of yourself now, and probably the place I’d try to start by telling myself to not listen to silly made-up conjectures from folks like that MCN