Got an 'answer' for my "next level" velcro baby. I was too stressed while pregnant.

[jchu4]

@nazpastor Wow, what terrible advice. I was very stressed my entire pregnancy and my bub was the opposite of a velcro baby. She loved her own space and slept independently from day dot. Because… that’s literally all to do with personality and nothing to do with how stressed you were when pregnant. I can guarantee you, your baby’s temperament now will make perfect sense once you learn their personality and it has nothing to do with anything you did while pregnant.

 

[smartiesrich]

@nazpastor What utter bullocks, where did she get her medical training- a cracker jack box? Ask to see someone else. I've had two velcro babies- my firstborn was a dream pregnancy in which I ran a half marathon while pregnant because I had zero negative symptoms and was stress free. My second one nearly offed me with hyperemesis, gestational diabetes, threatened kidney failure, SPD, my dad nearly died, my aunt DID die, my grandma's cancer came back, and my mom's embroiled in a massive legal problem. "High stress pregnancy" is putting it mildly. Both kids are/were velcro. One's 11 and has blossomed into a brave, independent young woman and the other's 4 months old and all but lives in a baby carrier so I can get shit done around the house without a soundtrack of pterodactyl screeching because I put him down. Some babies are just like this, you didn't do anything wrong.

 

[justthreethings]

@nazpastor It's nothing you did, love! It's so easy for us to find some reason to blame ourselves and many irritating people will blame us for every single parenting choice we make. I'm finding my way around it right now. You pick him up when he cries? "You're spoiling that baby!" Co-sleeping? "Don't you want some time to yourselves? He'll have to sleep on his own eventually!"

This is just stuff I got this week. This lady is out of her mind. When you respond to your son, you're giving him comfort that you're there. It's very exhausting and you're doing wonderful. I'm trying to enjoy it because even if he still wants to give me a hug, he'll be taller than me by time he's 12 so I'm enjoying the tiny stage.

 

[yosalov]

@nazpastor This is utter and completely fake crap. I’m not sure why she decided to make you feel like shit for enduring a hard pregnancy and try to make you feel guilty, but don’t fall for it. There are too many variables involved here to make you at all responsible. It’s not your fault, it is not your fault and it is not your fault. Whoever says differently is part of the problem.

This said I am so sorry you’re having a hard time with little one being a Velcro, that makes the days long and exhausting!

 

[adryan]

@nazpastor I really did not have a stressful pregnancy, like it went so smooth and I have a stage 5 clinger. She’s getting better now that she’s gotten older but I think this is BS.

 

[bellahouz]

@nazpastor That’s complete BS.

 

[mamartinezzx]

@nazpastor I had HG and puked my entire pregnancy. My grandma died when I was 4 months pregnant after a difficult battle with cancer. I was working at a stressful job that I hated. My daughter was such an easy baby. Good grief to pinning your baby's temperament on how you felt during pregnancy.

 

[chretien22]

@nazpastor That couldn’t be true. My baby is 5 weeks beyond yours, I was immeasurably stressed because I have anxiety and I’m a worrier, and my baby has flagrant independence. Worry is often an observed and adopted trait. My girl will slowly become more anxious as a toddler as all toddlers worry, but some outgrow it and some stay there as they see this trait in their caregivers and think it’s normal.

 

[crystal91]

@nazpastor There’s so much conflicting information out there and there’s no definitive answer to why certain babies are more attached to their Mom’s compared to other babies. My baby girl is definitely a Velcro baby and my husband and my MIL tell me all the time to “just let her cry”. I can’t do that though because she’s still so young and can’t self soothe yet. I would rather hold her and let her know I care and I’m there for her. I was very stressed during parts of my pregnancy but not for the majority of the time. It’s hard not being able to put her down sometimes but I just have to see her smile when she’s in my arms and I feel so much happier.

 

[mandie07]

@nazpastor That's utter crap. My son was born during covid, I was pregnant for most of the early covid stress and he so much more independent than my daughter, for whom I had a relaxed and chill pregnancy. She up my butt 24/7.

 

[andybrooks]

@nazpastor Na. I had the chillest, low stress possible pregnancy on all levels. My baby was an absolute velcro baby. Could NOT be put down, did not accept others for the longest time.

It just happens. The heir personalities are so different, starting from infancy.

My kid still prefers me to all others but has long since branched out and is a happy, thriving preschooler.

It’s good you are working on what you are working on of course. But your baby is just your baby and doing baby things. Snuggle them.

Best thing I did was letting go of all the standard baby advice and book based expectations. We contact napped, baby wore, nursed/ fed on demand, no sleep training, just snuggles. I’d have driven myself bonkers trying to fit baby into those nest boxes and expectations. Letting go of it was very freeing for me and much less stressful.

It WILL pass. It’s hard, and it may take bit, but it WILL pass.

 

[amrose]

@nazpastor I don’t know how true this is. During my pregnancy I had high blood pressure, a two year old, my mom died and my husband was in a car accident. It was the worst time of my life. That being said…my baby boy was not a Velcro baby. My daughter was more Velcro than he is. I think it has more to do with just temperament as all babies are different. You didn’t make your baby this way.

 

[selinamontanino]

@nazpastor Pretty sure everyone is stressed during pregnancy. It’s stressful! So yeah, velcro babies come from stressful pregnancies because we’re all stressed.

Ignore this person who has no business laying on mom guilt. You do not need this person in your life.

 

[sakuraunveiled]

@nazpastor All I can say is wow. Pregnancy is no joke I know this as I’m having a stressful time myself at 26 weeks. I have been thinking to myself we get all the stress, worry and everyone else gets the lovely parts. I would be complaining. The medical teams job is to help you not make things worse.

 

[akajshdj]

@nazpastor That’s such BS. I was stressed in my first pregnancy and had the chillest pregnancy and my second pregnancy nothing bothered me, and my husband was very protective and supportive literally nothing was allowed to bother me and I had the clingiest baby. If anything it’s probably the opposite, maybe the baby knows he/she has to be calm in chaos to survive vs being ok to cry when they need attention.

 

[gusbus]

@nazpastor I wouldn’t accept that as an answer. I was really stressed during my pregnancy. To the point of heart palps and other long term health flare ups. And I have an easy baby. I honestly think it’s just luck.

 

[carolineisland]

@nazpastor While there are studies that back this up, you’d have to have an extreme level of constant stress. A normal amount of stress wouldn’t have an effect.

 

[angeleyescj]

@nazpastor I mean maybe? But maybe he's just picking up on your current stress. My first I was pregnant throughout 2020, obvs the most stressful time of anyone's life recently. He is a pretty anxious kid. My second was 2022 pregnancy and since it was my second I was so much more relaxed. He is the chillest guy. I think pregnancy stress level does have something to do with it, but not all! Your guy will just need to learn some serious coping strategies when he is a toddler+. For now I would say you need to fill your own cup and let him bond with your husband without you there. So you have that extra help.

 

[wen]

@nazpastor Nope. No, no, no. There is no scientific basis for this at all. This is a BS conspiracy theory.

(And anecdotal, but I had literally the worst pregnancy I could imagine. I was extremely ill and stressed the entire time. My kiddo is not a velcro baby at all. He just came out the chillest dude despite two parents who are literally medicated for anxiety.)

 

[renochristian]

@nazpastor No no no. First of all, fuck that MCN. My most stressful pregnancy resulted in my most chill baby. It's absolutely disgusting they would say that to you. I have 5 kids and all 5 have were different as babies with varying levels of need. They still are all different as children. Babies are people from the day they are born, they don't morph into people later on. I feel many medical professionals neglect that notion and I'm telling you with full confidence the person who told you created a stressed baby is stupid as hell. Please be kind to yourself and know that you did nothing wrong.