Give your best line for “no”

[kimmjohns]

MiL is pressing hard for a whole family vacation. I have stated my boundaries of no vacation with BiL and SiL many times. They are from a different planet with parenting ideals. They have a one year old and think my kids are “bad” with age appropriate behaviors for a four and two. My children need space to run and play. Their child sits still and plays quietly.

I said 4 year old has plans for camp for that week. “ not sure if it will fit into our plans” and she responds “oh it is far away. Things will change”

False. I’m not going. Give me your best one line Hard no.

 

[katrina2017]

@kimmjohns "We won't be going."

 

[danyyboy]

@kimmjohns One of my favorite things Ive ever learned as a parent/human in general was that "no" is a complete sentence.

 

[kimmjohns]

@danyyboy Omg your username. I just threw away mystery lunch meat it was salami at one point.

Yes. No will be our complete sentence

 

[2cor129]

@kimmjohns You can sit this one out and let her son say whatever he needs to say to her.

 

[chiko]

@2cor129 Exactly. Hopefully he will manage it without throwing you under the bus. Either way it’s not your job.

 

[sjastro]

@chiko I don't even care if my husband throws me under the bus to his mom if he needs to. I will 100% be his excuse for anything he doesn't want to deal with getting into an argument about. I don't care about any kind of relationship with her past saying hi and generic small talk when I have to see her for a few minutes, though.

 

[lilmissmel]

@2cor129 This. Having my husband deal with his parents on matters like this greatly improved my relationship with my husband and my in laws.

 

[12345]

@kimmjohns "I've told you before that we will not be vacationing with BIL & SIL. That has not changed. We will not be attending, please do not press the issue."

 

[jennac]

@kimmjohns “That won’t work for us.”

 

[sweetplum]

@kimmjohns My new favorite I’ve heard recently… “I’m not asking for your approval of my decision, I’m just asking for your cooperation in not asking again.”

We most often have to use “I’m not asking for your approval of how we teach boundaries, I’m just asking for your cooperation in respecting them.”

 

[greydot]

@kimmjohns This sounds like the perfect opportunity to send your husband and kids on holidays and get some time to yourself. If your husband can’t say no, he can pay the price for saying yes.

 

[theycallmejt]

@greydot I hear you, but it sounds like BIL and SIL have a bad attitude toward the children. If husband doesn’t have the boldness to have 1 hard convo with his mom, would you really trust him to protect the kids from unkindness for a whole vacation?

 

[ggirl1986]

@theycallmejt This. OP doesn't want their kids around the in-laws, it's not just that they don't like their in-laws.

 

[3rdeye]

@greydot Just a DASH of malicious compliance, I love it

 

[genitalwartscure]

@kimmjohns “That doesn’t work for us”

Also lol of course her 1 year sits and plays quietly he doesn’t have full motor control of his body yet. My 3 year would also sit and play quietly at that age because that’s all he could do. He’s currently trying to climb a baby gate into my husbands WFH area. She will be eating her words very soon.

 

[noahchild]

@kimmjohns No is a complete sentence. Just tell her no.

 

[glainmaigra]

@kimmjohns “I have given my reasoning on this topic before. It is no longer a discussion”

I had to use this line with MIL insisting my not even 2 year old needs to go forward facing in the car seat. It was a polite discussion three times. And by the fourth it’s done. No is my full answer.

 

[opale]

@kimmjohns You’ve asked, I’ve answered.

 

[johnjarrell]

@kimmjohns A no with no explanation. Explanations are invitations to argue for certain people.