Don’t like “sharing” the baby

[prisha]

@linley Completely normal. Don't be afraid to steal back your baby

 

[dancingfox]

@linley Yes and you have every right to be honest and say. I'm sorry I know you just got him but I'm feeling super emotional right now and I need him back. There are natural protective instinctive hormones rushing through you right now. God gave us these for survival and bonding. Babies used to be tethered to us 24 7 by tunics so moms could be mobile . You can always go buy the baby wearing backpack. Too hard too get baby in and out
but I think if you share your meltdown with mom in law she will understand or appreciate you have confided in her.

 

[fuegopentecostes]

@linley Completely normal. Adults should stop treating babies like toys for their entertainment. Even before motherhood, I was conscious to ask the mother for permission to carry her child and if she said no, I completely understood (and I would also want her to be comfortable saying no instead of feeling obligated to say yes to me!). Post-partum, I limited guests and informed majority of family members that they can visit my baby after the 3-month mark to let the child build up their immunity system first. Don’t feel bad for wanting to bond with your child and setting boundaries: you’ve waited months to meet your child so others can afford to wait longer. If you can, put him in a carrier and let him contact nap on you; people are less likely to disturb a sleeping baby that’s on you

 

[fuegopentecostes]

Would also like to add that i usually waited until the child was months older before asking to carry the child out of respect before I became a mother. I would usually just look at newborns if I was even invited to visit (I didn’t ask to visit). I feel like this is common courtesy and adults shouldn’t be selfish and guilt trip mothers about their boundaries.

 

[tehillah]

@linley Ugh I feel this so much. I’m okay with myself or my husband holding our 3 week old but I seriously get anxious and angry every time anyone even asks to visit cuz I hate other people holding him. Especially my mom - when I was pregnant I assumed I would feel so comfortable with her around my baby but she has such a weirdly posessive vibe towards him that I can’t stand her holding him. I seriously wish we lived in a different state than all our family or something so it could just be us three instead of having a bunch of visitors every weekend.

 

[rpmk01]

@linley I definitely have never felt like that with either of my kids. I love seeing my parents and in laws come and spend as much time with our babies as possible.

 

[zhawk]

@linley I never really understood this don’t get me wrong my baby is my whole world and I love her so much but I think it’s important that while they’re only little for so long you let other people that are family to experience that too.
You are the mom and can ask for your baby whenever but I just never understood being so pushy with people having your baby for a little especially when you are supervising ….

 

[dancingfox]

@zhawk Yes, True. They are only little for so long. It goes by in a blink of time. So importantly, who do we need to share that blink with? And truly for who's benefit down the road? When baby is in the terrible 2s and 3s then who can't wait to keep him for hours? Or when they are in the awkward tweens then who is it that's on pins and needles to get a few hours watching tik tok videos or going outside to the park or pool with them? Hopefully those same folks. Many time not at all. If you have this, certainly share your precious moments with the village. Yet if the village is there for your most precious time and you know they will be m.i.a for the duration....it's worth setting some boundaries for both mom and babies best health.

 

[zhawk]

@dancingfox I’m talking about family MIL’s grandparents sisters etc lol not some random person
Yes I think it’s important sharing that blink with those people.
I’m sure they are around for the long haul , unless you know they won’t

 

[ilovejesus985]

@linley As a dad I too felt this. Until one day we decided that our baby should be socialized so he would be okay with people….but we were a little too loose so after being passed around by 10 people he got overstimulated and screamed himself to sleep.