Do you think she's hungry? (Rant)

luv100

New member
I have a 3 week old. I am acutely aware of the fact that she needs to eat every 2-3 hours. When she cries, I always think about when she last ate and try to see if she needs to eat again. But sometimes she's just crying. Sometimes she ate 40 minutes ago and now she's just fussy. When that happens, without fail, some nearby GENIUS (my mother in law, my husband, my 8 year old neighbor, a total fucking stranger) will ask, "Do you think she's hungry?"

Oh, wow! I never thought of that! Do babies need to eat? What a fucking breakthrough! You must be a baby whisperer to have come up with that! I never even thought to get her to stop crying because it's such a pleasant sound that doesn't at all make my brain squirm with panic trying to soothe her! But you know what!? Just for you I'll try to get her to stop crying. And using your groundbreaking technique to boot! What would you call it... f-f-feeding? Maybe you want to feed her? Oh wait! I'm the only one who can do that! How fucking convienient for you to come up with a solution while also being completely fucking useless!

Edit: lol @ the comments, "wElL hAvE yOu TrIeD fEeDiNg?" Yup. I have.
 
@luv100 My favorite is when someone else is holding LO and I tell them it’s time for him to eat. When I say someone it’s usually my MIL. She’ll put him crazy close to her face and say “hungry? You can’t be hungry! Look you’re not hungry!” No, I’m just saying the kids hungry for sh*ts and giggles. Give me my kid.
 
@lovejoyhope My MIL gave me a lecture about how I shouldn’t over feed my baby when he was 4 days old. She would be holding him and would hate handing him over for me to nurse. At the time, I was struggling with producing enough so I was pumping and feeding him donated breastmilk from a bottle. (Which she thought was gross) I actually caught her not giving him his full bottle once and then telling me he was full. 😡
Any time I would try to nurse she would tell me I was either over feeding him or sadly remind me that she was unable to breastfeed her kids.
 
@rebecca4ever What?? That’s awful! MIL also recently told my 4 month old how lucky he is to be skinny. All my whats??? He’s a failure to thrive kid, barely in the 2%. I’m happy I’ve never trusted her with a bottle.
 
@lovejoyhope My husband's grandmother said to my naturally thin 15th %ile 1.5 year old this weekend, "Enjoy it while you can! Hopefully you stay skinny your whole life!"

Just... Why? Why do we have to do that? I just replied that I'm just glad she's healthy and I hope she stays healthy.
 
@rebecca4ever Holy shit what was/is wrong with your MIL? She was trying to shortchange a hungry newborn? Is she super fatphobic or something? This breaks my brain.
 
@orm97 She told me she over fed my husband as a baby and he was really fussy and warned me not to over feed my son too. I guess she just assumed I would feed him too much if I didn’t know better.
 
@rebecca4ever Not saying that breastfeeding moms are in a special club or superior but if you didn't breastfeed you don't know shit about breastfeeding (just like I don't know anything about formula feeding, haven't done it). You are doing wonderfully for your baby, take MIL out of the equation for now so you can sort this out without the added stress.
 
@rebecca4ever So ugghhhh!! At 4 days old most babies are still trying to regain their birth weight!!! WTF.

And in the early days when you're trying to learn to latch and exhausted and overwhelmed you really don't need that kind of negativity.

I'm so sorry big hugs
 
@rebecca4ever Omg my mil likes to remind me she couldn’t breastfeed too! And she gets way too close to me when I’m bf-ing my baby. I can’t figure out a nice way to say back off and give me some space.
 
@lovejoyhope My MIL does this. She’ll be holding LO, and he will start fussing and I’ll say, “he’s hungry and tired” and MIL will just be like “aww, poor little guy”, but not give him to me. 😡
 
@alpara Someone walking away with my baby would get a timeout.

A week, for first infraction. A month for the second infraction, and increasing for each subsequent infraction. Eventually, it's permanent, and you don't have to worry about it, if the babynapper is too stupid to learn earlier than that.

I really would like to know what all these babynappers want to do with baby that they are too ashamed to do in front of the baby's mother. I can't think of anything good. Then there are all the stories of finding baby naked, or worse, getting a genital massage.

No thank you.
 
@jesusrocks4me That...went places.

Family members with boundary issues mean well, they just have misplaced feelings and don’t know how to appropriately address them. My mom abandoned me when I was my son’s age, so I’m sure she has complicated feelings that are as yet unresolved.
 
@alpara Everyone with boundary issues doesn't mean well. In fact I would personally feel that most don't. Most with boundary issues only think about getting what they want, and don't care how to affects those around them.
 
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