@pastorfischer I second this. While I was struggling hard emotionally right after I had my child my MIL was super bad with with boundaries or even acknowledging my existence. I made the decision to stop bringing myself and child around her, and what do you know? The PPD symptoms are virtually gone months later! She feels wronged that she doesn't see her grandchild but she made her choice and played "I meant well but I'm going to keep doing what I want even though you asked me to stop" so I feel no real guilt. Kids don't need to see their mothers getting undermined and a happy mother is a good mother, if I takes cutting out people who don't get that for awhile then so be it, imo!
marjmorris
New member
@ron4es Here's a sneak peek of /r/JUSTNOMIL using the top posts of the year!
#1: You can come over again when you bring me my daughter.
#2: I rearranged MIL’s furniture.
#3: JNMILitW and the Emergency Key
[sup][sup]I'm[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]a[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]bot,[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]beep[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]boop[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]|[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]Downvote[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]to[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]remove[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]|[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]Contact[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]me[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]|[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]Info[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]|[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]Opt-out[/sup][/sup]
#1: You can come over again when you bring me my daughter.
#2: I rearranged MIL’s furniture.
#3: JNMILitW and the Emergency Key
[sup][sup]I'm[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]a[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]bot,[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]beep[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]boop[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]|[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]Downvote[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]to[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]remove[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]|[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]Contact[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]me[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]|[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]Info[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]|[/sup][/sup] [sup][sup]Opt-out[/sup][/sup]
elalpilot07
New member
people need to be directed or else they’re just in perpetual la la land@mamuka I agree you need to be direct.
Say "He's hungry and tired, I need to feed him" and hold out your arms expectantly.
Or, say "He's hungry and tired, I need to feed him," and just lean in and scoop him out of her arms. You don't need to wait around for someone to hand you back your baby. It's your baby. Just reach over and pick them up.
Say "He's hungry and tired, I need to feed him" and hold out your arms expectantly.
Or, say "He's hungry and tired, I need to feed him," and just lean in and scoop him out of her arms. You don't need to wait around for someone to hand you back your baby. It's your baby. Just reach over and pick them up.
@seascape7 Yeah the problem is when you say and do that... And keep your arms extended and your MIL still decides to ignore what's happening...
@mikaasher That's why the second option was just say it and lean in and scoop him out of her arms. You do not need to wait for someone else's okay to take your own baby to be fed.
@mamuka My evil MIL did this. LO was crying so I picked him up and left the room to nurse him. As I was walking away she goes “I was having fun mom!”
Like bitch, first of all, don’t make my baby “talk”. Second, he was not having fun... he was crying. Lol. I just told her “he wasn’t having fun he’s tired” and left the room. Her jaw hit the floor so fast there’s still a dent in one of the tiles in my kitchen.
Like bitch, first of all, don’t make my baby “talk”. Second, he was not having fun... he was crying. Lol. I just told her “he wasn’t having fun he’s tired” and left the room. Her jaw hit the floor so fast there’s still a dent in one of the tiles in my kitchen.
@lovejoyhope My mom will be holding him and will tell me that he seems to be hungry and I'm like "okay, bring him here" and she just continues to hold him and tell him that he needs "titty" which irritates me.
Now that I combo feed she demands a bottle so she can feed him. I like the helloi, but damn Grandma, calm down.
Now that I combo feed she demands a bottle so she can feed him. I like the helloi, but damn Grandma, calm down.
@lovejoyhope My MIL pulled this exactly once, with my second baby. He was a colicky infant, and was crying (of course) while she was holding him. I said that it was time for him to eat, and she was like “oh no, he’s gassy!” She was always talking about gas gas gas but that was the first time she had argued with me about why he was being fussy. I was already running on fumes (colicky baby=no sleep or quiet time), and I just sternly said “NO, he’s hungry”. She’s lucky I didn’t say what I was actually thinking “lady, I think I fucking know when my kid is hungry seeing as you just got here, now stop jiggling my baby trying to coax a burp out of him and PASS HIM THE FUCK OVER”
@lovejoyhope My mother in law does this too, along with putting her fingers in his mouth. Gross, please stop.
lovejoyhope
New member
@lovejoyhope My baby is 5 weeks old, it's so frustrating. She was also coughing occasionally and claims not to be sick cause she's had the cough for 2 months. Whatever.
elalpilot07
New member
@lovejoyhope Oh my gosh my daughter is over a year and this whole thread is giving me flashbacks... but THIS SITUATION more than anything. SO MUCH THIS. Ughhhhh
costumes123
New member
@lovejoyhope Dido this and replies. My LO is almost 3 months and cries every time she needs her diaper changed. I know this cry very well... it's more of a whine. But my MIL will hold her and say, I think she just needs to burp. I'm so frustrated at this since I am with this child 24 hours a day every day. I know what she freaking wants when this happens. Last time I reached over and looked down her pants, and said "yep! She needs a diaper!" And just like all the other ladies here... she continues holding her and asks the LO if she needs a diaper. MIL also says at least once every time she is over something about "needing her Mimi" and it makes me and my husband cringe. Ughhhhh
@costumes123 I would be getting her to change the diaper if she won't hand back the baby!
katrina2017
New member
@lovejoyhope My MIL says, "I don't think she's hungry," and I'm like, I don't care what you think. Give me the baby.
truthseeker615
New member
@lovejoyhope My MIL does this in a way where she’s trying to be nice — if LO gets hungry while I’m eating shell be like “oh no, you can wait and let mom finish eating!” And then waves a rattle or something in her face while she’s crying. I’m like no, I cannot enjoy my damn meal when my baby is screaming and unhappy. I know she means well but I’ve tried to tell her I’d rather she didn’t do this.
mariabelle
New member
@lovejoyhope Ughhhh. This is my feeling when I say it's time for baby's nap. "He's not tired, he's smiling and laughing". Like wtf? Did you completely miss the two giant face rubs and that incredibly long yawn?