Do y’all also do this to your kids?

[seekinghope]

@tobi80 It would not hurt to look into ADHD and/or Autism to rule those out. Honestly, the more i think about it, the more I think it's just coincidence.

 

[tobi80]

@seekinghope I wish I could but my mom (or dad) doesn’t really believe in those things or mental health in general. And what would be “coincidence”? Sorry if I sound stupid.

 

[lynturc]

@tobi80 You try to seek revenge at the slightest provocation? That's not normal either. Your poor mother. Do better OP. It's time to take responsibility for your chores, actions (or lack thereof), and words. You will not get far in this world if you rely on others to direct you your whole life or if you constantly push back on your bosses with this attitude.

 

[whodhu]

@tobi80 It's time for YOU to start growing up. You are no longer a small child. You are going towards adulthood.

You need to help your mum out. She is tired. You need to put yourself in her shoes and think about her, not just see everything from your own perspective. Have some initative. You KNOW what needs to be done around the house. You know that. Stop pretending you don't.

So you look around you and you see things need doing. Floor needs a vacuum, diswasher needs stacking or unstacking, clothes need folding, bench needs wiping.....most of all? you eat something? you dont just throw rubbish or leave leftovers on table. You get up, rinse and stack it appropriately.

You arent a baby that your mother should need to clean up after. You ALL live in the house together and so you have a basic responsibilty to respect others and do you bit.

She should not have to write anything down for you. You are well old enough to think for yourself.

*** I have teenagers. I was also a teenager once! I know the drill ;-)

 

[barrett2305]

@whodhu this reply was too much, you thought too deep and it seems more as a vent than giving your opinion; I’m assuming what they were saying is they forget easily, which is an adhd symptom and if that’s the situation it’s not their fault and they can’t control it, plus they’re most likely only an 8th grader, not “almost an adult”

 

[rabbithunterdv]

@barrett2305 They sound like they're relying on their mom to do things for them instead of doing it. It's laziness.

Even if they have ADHD, 14 is old enough to write their own list and if it's chores, they most likely don't change much. They just don't want to do the labor. Sounds like mom is tired of carrying the mental load. When too many people rely you to think for them, it's easy to get burned out. The 14 year old is doing exactly that. "It's just how my brain works." Okay well why not write your own list? Why does Mom need you to write it for you to do it? They're just dumping the responsibility on mom to avoid the tasks.

 

[tobi80]

@barrett2305 Yeah, you’re exactly right. And now that I know that’s an adhd symptom I wish I could get that checked out.

 

[elcurious]

@tobi80 I am a grown up with adhd and I clean the house and raised kids and do ok.

 

[whodhu]

@tobi80 Look. Stop looking for excuses. It's not relevant. You don't need to blame ADHD or anything. You just need to start thinking more maturely. No "blame" you just need to accept you are growing up & it's time to start being more adult, then being a child

 

[rabbithunterdv]

@tobi80 She has to write things down for you and you're 14? My mom did that when we were 8. By the time we were in highschool, we knew our chores.

You sound borderline lazy. It's time to grow up before you become one of those men who need their wife to write them a grocery list, even though they live in the house too, but refuse to write their own list. It starts early.

 

[gspfever08]

@tobi80 When I am stressed and overwhelmed, I need my husband to give me a list of things to do as well. This is an executive functioning issue that could be caused by ADHD, autism, or something similar. It seems your mom may not be empathetic to that because she is stressed and overwhelmed too. Stressed and overwhelmed people are not at their best.

 

[tobi80]

@gspfever08 Yeah she is very stressed (mostly because of finding new jobs and stuff)

 

[evenwrite]

@gspfever08 That’s what I thought when I read this post. I think there should be a talk about chores and forgetfulness between OP and their mom. I can see why the mom is overwhelmed especially if she is a single mother. I think the slob comment was too harsh. But there needs to be a better system. If you forget, maybe have 3-4 chores that you have to do every day. Have them written on a magnetic board and put a green magnet next to them when you finish it. Put it somewhere where you’ll definitely see it. That way your mom won’t have to constantly tell you or write it down.

 

[gspfever08]

@tobi80 Adding - I don't think you're a bad son, and I think some of these comments are way too harsh on you. I'm a middle school teacher and you sound like a typical middle schooler to me.

 

[only_a_being]

@gspfever08 I don't think he's a bad son either but as a middle school teacher how many 14 year olds do you have? I'm not sure how it goes in your district but middle school here is 4th-6th grade. 14 years old is surely old enough to remember to do chores. Kids and young adults need loving discipline to prepare them for adulthood. I think we make far too many excuses for kids these days and that's why they're getting more and more out of hand in many areas of social development and maturity.

 

[gspfever08]

@only_a_being In the US, middle school is either 6th-8th or 7th-8th.

 

[only_a_being]

@gspfever08 I live in the US. It varies from city to city but generally Middle school is 4th-6th. Junior high is 7th and 8th and high school is 9th-12th. Being a teacher I would think you'd know this, especially that it varies a bit from place to place.

 

[gspfever08]

@only_a_being I don't know why you're being rude, but A) it doesn't matter whatsoever because I was not misrepresenting myself in any way and B) You are incorrect. Google "what grades are middle school" and see what the answer is!

 

[only_a_being]

@gspfever08 I wasn't being rude and I don't have to Google anything, as I myself attended school and my children are currently attending middle school, junior high and high school. If you had to Google the answer it just proves more to my point that you don't sound like a teacher. A teacher knows that every district varies. Eg. The city next to mine where I attended school, there was no middle school at all. K-6 was elementary, 6th and 7th was junior high and 9th-12th was high school. Where I currently live and my children attend it's K-3 elementary, 4th-6th middle school and the junior high and high school are attached so 7th-12th all at the same school. The fact that you don't know this and are a teacher is highly concerning.

 

[gspfever08]

@only_a_being So because you're experiencing something different in your personal situation, you think I'm wrong, and refuse to Google it, even though I've been a middle school teacher for 12 years in two different states and lived in 4, and I did Google it to see what the heck you were talking about and found nothing?