@gspfever08 After taking a moment to check out your profile I'm 100% convinced that you're not a teacher. If you are, I feel horrible for your students because you seem to spend all of your time playing video games and taking multiple OTC pregnancy tests just to see how the line gets darker as you progress in your pregnancy. That's wild. And scary that you come to subreddits like this offering advice on things you clearly know nothing about. Crazy how you're not on one Teacher subreddit though. Anybody with school aged children and a brain knows that how I described it is how it is. Get a grip lady and go back to your video games. Yes, I was being rude this time. People like you are a stain on communities like this. You talk a good game at first, but there's no substance underneath.
@gspfever08 Yeah, I think some people missed the part where OP's 14. This sounds very typical for my middle schooler and all his friends. Kids forget stuff, and it takes time to learn what chores need to be done when after having your parents mange it all when you were younger!
@jhatfield2 14 is not middle school age, though. 14 is highschool and if he's smart enough to internalize the fact that he needs lists to complete basic tasks, then he is smart enough to make the lists himself.
@only_a_being 13-14 is 8th grade. And yeah, OP could make the lists, except he's said he doesn't know what needs to go on it, this is very typical behavior/knowledge for his age. And doubly so if he has ADHD.
@jhatfield2 Even if he was 13, which he isn't, 8th grade is not middle school either. Myself and my peers were all 14 in 9th grade, as well as my children. He clearly states in his post what he knows needs to be done, things his mom has told him, probably more times than she should have to. He says he knows he needs lists but expects his mother to make the lists. At age 14. He doesn't have an ADHD diagnosis as my son does (as well as a learning disability), and even with the diagnosis my son knows what needs to be done on what days and completes it without my having to get much involved. Making excuses for a near adult is doing them no favors. I agree with the other people that are saying he's being borderline lazy. Maybe if he didn't state the things that he knows need done I would think differently but that's not the case here.
@only_a_being He doesn't have an ADHD diagnosis because his parents don't believe in it. Do you really think that's the supportive kind of parenting that would teach him how to be self-sufficient by now?
@gspfever08 Yeah, thank you. It’s kinda hard looking at all these comments, some I don’t even know how to respond to. (Like the 5 paragraph one). Also, that stuffs normal? Other kids have that problem too? And to think, I’m going to be in high school in a year and already doing high school grade math.
@tobi80 Yes, pretty normal! Lots of kids have trouble doing their work / homework, staying organized, doing chores, cleaning their room, and going to bed on time. It's hard to learn how to manage all that stuff when you're young and your brain is developing. It's also very normal to feel frustrated with your parents (and teachers).
@gspfever08 Wow, it’s nice to know I’m not alone on this kind of stuff (mostly the staying organized, cleaning the room and going on bed on time because my sleep schedule is screwed). And thank you for helping me understand more about this kind of stuff.
@tobi80 Dude... literally you DONT know what chores are basic life chores at 14? No ..... if thats the case you need to be seeing a dr again.... i refuse to believe you are not capable of basic life skills. I have adhd. I write my own lists and then do them. You jjst dont want to try... dishes, trash, laundry are the main 3. It seems like youre not even trying to learn honestly.
@tobi80 I'm sure there's some type of schedule in your house. It's probably vacuuming every week or every 2 weeks and taking out the trash every evening, etc. If you really want to be a functional and respectful part of your family, ask your mom for those dates ahead of time then you can make yourself a note and she won't have to ask you to do things. That's what a grown up kid does. They do the things they're supposed to do without being asked or nagged.
@yundong0329 We don’t have a schedule, the only schedule we have is one when they work, and I’m gonna tell you, they are barely home and hard at work! And when they are they’re probably in their room doing god knows what! And the last time we set up a “schedule” for stuff like that was when I was 6. And I even brought up a chores list but they didn’t do it because of what happened 8 years ago!
@tobi80 So you could really blow them away by saying, "Mom, I don't want us to argue over chores and things that need to be done around the house. How about I sweep every Sunday night, take out the trash each evening and take care of the dishes each night?" "I will write myself a note as a reminder to do these things and we won't have to get into fights about things that need to be done around here."
That will show her you are being a responsible and a mature individual and the whole issue about cleaning will magically disappear. You'll feel like you are doing your part on your time (as scheduled) and she will rest easy knowing these things are being don without asking. Problem solved.
@tobi80 I understand where you're coming from. The better person to talk to about this stuff might be a school counselor or another trusted adult in your life. It seems like the adults commenting on your post are making a LOT of assumptions about you and your mom, from the perspective of their own lives. They don't understand what you are going through right now.
@gspfever08 I wish I could but I’m homeschooled, because my mom doesn’t like me in public school. And the only other adult I have in my life is my Nina (grandma) and she will take my moms side, unless my dads on that side. And sorry if I sound rude, that’s not my intention
@tobi80 You're not being rude at all. I'm very sorry to hear this. Kids who are homeschooled are supposed to be involved in weekly activities in person with other homeschooled kids so that they can make friends, meet other adults, get out of their houses, etc. It's no wonder that you're having these questions. It's not healthy to be isolated and all alone.
@gspfever08 Yeah, I guess so. My teacher normally likes me away from everyone else, in an isolated room, with just a 8th grader doing 9th-10th grade math, so I can see why that’s bad for mental health.
