Our b/g twins have just turned 4 months and we’re definitely seeing a change in their sleeping habits. We try to stick with at least a consistent bed time routine, but with daycare naps are basically whenever they go down. They get home from daycare at 5 and if they don’t go down pretty quickly bed time is at 7/7:30 sooo usually they don’t nap in the afternoon. I’m just not a fan of super strict schedules and i just don’t see a difference when they have a perfect nap day vs a crappy one. Plus i feel so overwhelmed by all the sleep training info available online. I feel like with our work schedules and daycare it won’t work as well as i’d hope it to. I’d Love everyone’s thoughts!
@whcarston I was very “go with the flow”, “follow my children’s rhythm” until they started waking every hour, every single night at 9 months old. I hired a Sleep consultant and it was by far the best decision I ever made. My kids are well rested, my partner and I are well rested and overall everyone is much happier.
Do what you think is best for your family but don’t be afraid of getting outside help if everything out there seems overwhelming.
Do what you think is best for your family but don’t be afraid of getting outside help if everything out there seems overwhelming.
rockinglicks
New member
@whcarston Everything is a minefield and as is the way you’ve gotta do what is right for you/the other half/the kids. We’re 7 months in now with twins and luckily we haven’t had to rely on daycare as my wife has taken a year off work HOWEVER, we have absolutely stuck to a routine no matter what has happened, the times that there has been lapses or deviation from the routine we have seen a noticeable difference in the way the girls behave/sleep at night especially even down to the way they have their nighttime feed. I think the massive upside to what we have done is that although it’s strict, by 6 months there was no such thing as a feed beyond 7pm and that has been an absolute godsend.
My biggest takeaway from trying to do what’s right/get opinions/read everything is that nobody is the same, you do what’s right for you and aside from Reddit stay away from all other social media when it comes to your kids as pretty much every parent on every other platform is an absolute LIAR
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My biggest takeaway from trying to do what’s right/get opinions/read everything is that nobody is the same, you do what’s right for you and aside from Reddit stay away from all other social media when it comes to your kids as pretty much every parent on every other platform is an absolute LIAR
.sharonmilliman
New member
@whcarston We didn’t think we would be the types to be strict about it, but we definitely needed to. Our boy would scream every time his pacifier fell out, and we were at our breaking point. We did full-on cry it out with him and after 4-5 days it 100% worked. We trained his sister the same way a couple weeks later, with the same result. We were worried that training them one after the other would disturb the other, but it was never an issue.
@whcarston We sleep trained our twins at about 5-6 months. Things were getting very difficult for us. We couldn't be trapped under babies all day, and it was 24/7. I stay home with them, and my husband works from home, so he was either working while under a sleeping baby or I was trapped in the recliner under one or both of them. I believe very strongly that we made the right call for our family. I feel like being a multiple parent somewhat forces your hand, but I respect that others don't see it that way. I did not sleep train my singleton, 10 years prior, and probably still would not sleep train a singleton...but multiples are just an entirely different world. I'm a strong proponent of gentle parenting, but I broke with it in this one area, and I legitimately believe it saved our marriage, sanity, and overall health of the household.
@whcarston Nope. Never have sleep trained a single child of mine (I've got nine). We have a bit of a nap schedule that was developed as a combo of what works for them and what does for us--my husband works from home, so nap 1 is his lunch break and nap 2 is when he gets off, then they go down for the night about an hour ahead of everyone else. Trying to work with my kids' natural rhythms is what we've always done, and it works for us. If what you're doing now works for you, there's no reason to change it. Sleep training seems endemic now about ten million times more than it was even a decade ago. My oldest two are 20 and 18, and are both reasonably productive members of society, so I promise it will work out.
@whcarston Plenty of people have VERY strong opinions about sleep training. You’ll find anecdotes & evidence to support many different ideas about baby sleep online. It nearly drove me bonkers.
We didn’t sleep train our twins. I wasn’t 100% against it, but saw it as an absolute last resort. My kids were bad sleepers most of their first year (waking 3-6x per night) but easily soothed (by nursing mostly). I just wasn’t comfortable letting them cry when they wanted & needed me. I was so very close though, actually paid for one of those courses and was ready to pull the trigger when they only had 2 nightly wake ups the night before we were set to begin. I put it off, then we never did it. They started sleeping through consistently at 15 months, which I think is just when they were developmentally ready.
I know this doesn’t necessarily clarify things, but do what feels best for your family. I know plenty of parents who sleep trained early and had a great experience. I know others who tried it and it didn’t work and regretted it. It just totally depends.
We didn’t sleep train our twins. I wasn’t 100% against it, but saw it as an absolute last resort. My kids were bad sleepers most of their first year (waking 3-6x per night) but easily soothed (by nursing mostly). I just wasn’t comfortable letting them cry when they wanted & needed me. I was so very close though, actually paid for one of those courses and was ready to pull the trigger when they only had 2 nightly wake ups the night before we were set to begin. I put it off, then we never did it. They started sleeping through consistently at 15 months, which I think is just when they were developmentally ready.
I know this doesn’t necessarily clarify things, but do what feels best for your family. I know plenty of parents who sleep trained early and had a great experience. I know others who tried it and it didn’t work and regretted it. It just totally depends.
@whcarston If it’s overwhelming for you, then don’t do it. Go with what works for your family.
I didn’t follow any one of the ‘programs’ or ‘plans’ or whatever to sleep train. At 4mo I just went with the flow and developed a routine that worked for us. I just went back to work at that time so a lot of the daytime schedule was determined by daycare. Tbh I can’t remember for sure what we did when we came home. I do remember they didn’t go to sleep until about 8-9pm and they woke up around 5-6am. And during the daytime they had 3 naps about 1.5hr long each (unless they were teething or something where they slept longer). Having good naps was imperative to getting good night sleep and vice versa.
What worked for us if they cried was to wait for a few minutes to see if they settle themselves. If they looked/sounded distressed or if they cried for more than a few minutes, I would pick up and rock the crying baby back to sleep (they shared one until they were about 16mo). If they were still fussy, we brought them back to bed with us. The babies were the little spoons and we sleep in a king size bed so there was enough room.
I didn’t follow any one of the ‘programs’ or ‘plans’ or whatever to sleep train. At 4mo I just went with the flow and developed a routine that worked for us. I just went back to work at that time so a lot of the daytime schedule was determined by daycare. Tbh I can’t remember for sure what we did when we came home. I do remember they didn’t go to sleep until about 8-9pm and they woke up around 5-6am. And during the daytime they had 3 naps about 1.5hr long each (unless they were teething or something where they slept longer). Having good naps was imperative to getting good night sleep and vice versa.
What worked for us if they cried was to wait for a few minutes to see if they settle themselves. If they looked/sounded distressed or if they cried for more than a few minutes, I would pick up and rock the crying baby back to sleep (they shared one until they were about 16mo). If they were still fussy, we brought them back to bed with us. The babies were the little spoons and we sleep in a king size bed so there was enough room.
@moore2014 that’s what i’m inclined to do. and we WANT to do a later bed time but they just will not nap in the evenings. honestly their night time sleep isn’t horrible, they usually only wake once or twice before we need to get ready for our work day. but i’d love to be able to get them down around 8 or 9 and see if that would allow them to sleep until 5/6a which would be PERFECT. I’m hoping we can work towards that. mainly bc their sleep isn’t synced, so even though they’re only waking once or twice it’s a pretty good chunk of time we’re awake and i’d love to be sleeping 
@whcarston They might be overtired from daycare too. Can you drive around and let them fall asleep in the car maybe?
gladysbrierley
New member
@whcarston Yup. At two or three months, we moved them into their own cribs in their own room and around four months we did light Ferber and incorporated sleep patterns, signaling and hygiene. Its amazing how smart babies are. My twins sleep really well, they are 11 months and when I sing the nap song now, they smile, I hope I can keep training then during the transition to toddler beds!
I did not pay anyone to help me, I reseached like a crazy person, read a lot and compared my data against who my kids were at that time.
I did not pay anyone to help me, I reseached like a crazy person, read a lot and compared my data against who my kids were at that time.
@whcarston No sleep training. Just followed evening routine as much as possible in the evening. Play, eat, play, bath time and bottle/bed.
This became easier as they got older (now 11 months).
Ages 4-6 month were still waking up 1x a night a few nights a week to feed one bottle. My reasoning was if they’re hungry, feed them. They always ate.
FWIW, having a singleton in 2004 and in 2012; sleep training and parenting tips on social media was just not a thing. And I miss that time, as now I have the urgency to google/research/inform it all into oblivion.
TLDR; I am glad I didn’t do the sleep training, it was too much for me. One more thing to “work on” than I wanted to do. This is due to Part of my personality and I’m just tired and don’t want to think lol.
This became easier as they got older (now 11 months).
Ages 4-6 month were still waking up 1x a night a few nights a week to feed one bottle. My reasoning was if they’re hungry, feed them. They always ate.
FWIW, having a singleton in 2004 and in 2012; sleep training and parenting tips on social media was just not a thing. And I miss that time, as now I have the urgency to google/research/inform it all into oblivion.
TLDR; I am glad I didn’t do the sleep training, it was too much for me. One more thing to “work on” than I wanted to do. This is due to Part of my personality and I’m just tired and don’t want to think lol.
rushamania
New member
@whcarston We did sleep associations and hygiene but not "sleep training" as it's marketed. We've moved them from a crib to a floor bed now and it's the best thing we did. They slept great from about 3 to 6 months then we moved them to cribs as they outgrew their bassinets. Or maybe they hit the regression/progression. But sleep was up and down. Maybe they hated the cribs because on the floor bed they've been great! They're very stubborn and independent so who knows. I don't think Ferber or CIO etc would have worked for at least one of them and it didn't feel right for us. We followed the possums program early on. It's very baby led. Naps were flexible. We roughly follow wake windows now but if they want to sleep I figure they need it.