Dads breaking generational abuse, how do you discipline your kids?

[zombiewarrior]

@curtis789 This works surprisingly well with my 2 year old. We use an old fashioned egg timer.

 

[tom9827]

@zombiewarrior What kind of time limit do you set for a 2 year old?

 

[joanofarc1182]

@tom9827 The comment chain is about giving a single minute with an actual physical/audible timer as opposed to instantaneously ending the activity out of the blue.

 

[tom9827]

@joanofarc1182 We have tried this with our 2yo, but without the actual ding of a timer. We'll tell her she has one minute (or two or 5 or whatever is appropriate), but it doesn't seem to resonate with her. So, I wonder if the actual ding is needed and also if there is a time that is too long or too short?

I will sometimes tell her she has 10 minutes to play before we have to get ready for bed. Then I'll update her at 5 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute, or something along those lines. But it doesn't seem to make any difference.

 

[curtis789]

@tom9827 Yeah I think a ding is important. Makes it more official I guess. From watching my nephew I can see he likes to push boundaries so I sometimes think he can pick up if he’s being tricked. He’s such a smart kid.

 

[zombiewarrior]

@tom9827 Yeah I think it really needs a physical cue. So the egg timer we use is 30 seconds but we just say "when all the sand reaches the bottom of the timer it's time for bed". He then sees it as a game almost and when the sand is all at the bottom, 9 times out of 10 he will voluntarily stop what he is doing, say "bed", and start tidying up.

 

[muddles100]

@curtis789 The timer thing has been huge for us. My 2.5 year old will even remind us to set a timer and will more often than not cooperate once the timer goes off. It’s impressive.

 

[answerseeker]

@curtis789 A similar technique we used with our kids when they were little was to offer them choices that are all acceptable to you, the adults. When it was about 10 minutes before it's time to leave (or clean up or whatever) tell the kids it's almost time to go and ask if they want 5 more minutes or 10 more minutes.

They'll always choose 10 minutes, which we're already good with. Another dad at the park once asked me if the kids ever chose the 5 minutes. I told him no, but 10 minutes was when I wanted to finish anyway. It's about giving the kids some choice and control over the situation.

It's not 100% effective, but it did cut down on the conflict and pushback.

 

[curtis789]

@answerseeker Wow…I love this idea!

 

[chacey14]

@curtis789 We set timers for everything and it is a game changer.

Even better if you let the kids press the go button.

 

[atiniir]

@curtis789 Similar - we say “last one all done” and they have to say it back to us - “last one all done” - before they have their last turn/slide/throw/whatever. Makes sure they fully understand- works wonders, assuming you follow through

 

[newgreeny]

@curtis789 I was surprised how well this trick worked. Tell him the TV is being turned off and actually turn it off at the same time? Total meltdown. Tell him the TV is going off in 5 minutes and turn it off in 2? Maybe a little whining, but generally acceptable to him.

 

[timeraveler]

@curtis789 Countdowns are real helpful for us as well.

 

[jenniferlw]

@curtis789 Plus then the timer is the bad guy

 

[alfred1963]

@curtis789 I like this. Buying a timer now

 

[curtis789]

@alfred1963 My sister usually uses the Alexa or here phone but it might be fun to use an egg timer with the kids. My wife is due in like 4 weeks so I’ve been trying to gather whatever techniques I can to be prepared. The timer one has just surprised me the most. It works really well.

 

[alfred1963]

@curtis789 I ended up ordering some stand-alone kids timers on Amazon. My kids will break my phone if it's in reach. I also want them to be able to see the timer count down to 0 so they can associate it to ending an activity.

 

[curtis789]

@alfred1963 Awesome idea

 

[charlieblue]

@curtis789 I do something similar with mine but Instead of time, I’d use actions. So if we were at a park I’d say you have 3 more times to go down the slide and then we gotta go. This worked since they were around 3/4. Now 7&10 & I still find myself using this.

 

[valleygalforchrist]

@utay62 It is normal for 2 year olds to be completely chaotic in organized classes. It’s still normal at age 4. I would try to adjust your expectations.