@nessofonett05 Mine are 13 10 and 3 and I think he’s only done maybe 3 of the mornings ever. I don’t think it’s fair and I don’t agree with it and if you have a husband that would be willing to negotiate definitely ask for at least one sleep in a month!
Daddy sleeping in
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petros2015
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@nessofonett05 Absolutely not okay. He can go to bed earlier if he needs more sleep, and if he doesn’t want the toddler to bother him during breakfast then he can deal with the result of telling him no.
You really need to find a better arrangement before the new baby comes. I used to do most (but not all) mornings with our toddler because I was more a morning person, but now with 2 we both get up. It’s too much to handle both alone in the mornings, while also getting the toddler ready for daycare and getting yourself ready to bring toddler to daycare or for work or whatever else that day.
You really need to find a better arrangement before the new baby comes. I used to do most (but not all) mornings with our toddler because I was more a morning person, but now with 2 we both get up. It’s too much to handle both alone in the mornings, while also getting the toddler ready for daycare and getting yourself ready to bring toddler to daycare or for work or whatever else that day.
@petros2015 Yeah I don’t think OP will be as able to get up with the toddler when she’s up with the baby. My husband handles our 3yo and I handle our 10mo usually.
musicandgodx
New member
@nessofonett05 i have higher sleep needs than my husband. i go to bed earlier than he does and i feel the effects of missed sleep more. during the week we’re both up early - he leaves before the kids are up, i’m up with them at 6 every week day. on the weekend he “sleeps in” until 6 and gets up with them, and i sleep in when needed but often get up at the same time with him. we both do parts of bedtime.
he has medical sleep issues and can’t help the sleep he needs, but he can do things to help and also to push through. he can find a compromise with the kid for breakfast, or eat later, or whatever. Parenting small kids often sucks
he has medical sleep issues and can’t help the sleep he needs, but he can do things to help and also to push through. he can find a compromise with the kid for breakfast, or eat later, or whatever. Parenting small kids often sucks
@nessofonett05 I need a lot of sleep and my husband doesn’t. He’s always up getting the kids breakfast and I’ll sleep until 7:30 or 8 on weekends. But if he was struggling with that arrangement or needed more sleep himself I’d get up earlier or trade mornings. Whether it’s ok or not depends on if it works for you both or not.
@nessofonett05 Honestly my husband struggles so bad with OSA. He has a sleep study in January after waiting so long. He sleeps in late as well but it doesn’t bother me because some days I sleep in (I’m pregnant with baby #2) and he gets up with our toddler. If it was every single day then I would be annoyed but it’s not.
bound4heaven
New member
@nessofonett05 6:45-7:30am is not sleeping in, imo. Idk, baby up at 6ish means an hour or so solo with baby before he wakes. That's not a big ask imo. But I guess if you hate getting up early, I could see being upset about it, in which case there is definitely room for compromise.
@nessofonett05 I can see his point about having high sleep needs (I do) but I don’t see how this will work with a second child. Also, is he making up for that time by giving you an hour of a break? I definitely think getting to eat breakfast alone is unreasonable, that should be your time to lay back down or get yourself ready for the day.
@nessofonett05 Sounds like a perfect arrangement for him but not for you.
@nessofonett05 In our house, with a 2yr3mnth old and a 3 month old, we each sleep in one day of the weekend, and on the mornings he doesn't have meetings and works from home, he takes the baby for a bit so I can sleep in while he works. Neither of us has sleep apnea, but I need 8 hrs to function, while he is fine with 6 if he gets a sleep in once a week.
None of us here can speak to the medical need he has. However, one person's need for sleep does not outweigh the others. Both of your needs are valid and should be worked to be met, as a team. If that means one of you takes day naps, or you both go to bed earlier, or he sees a new specialist or something, then that's what needs to be done.
None of us here can speak to the medical need he has. However, one person's need for sleep does not outweigh the others. Both of your needs are valid and should be worked to be met, as a team. If that means one of you takes day naps, or you both go to bed earlier, or he sees a new specialist or something, then that's what needs to be done.
@nessofonett05 My partner works late so if we both have the day off she sleeps in and when she wakes up (usually 10am-ish), I’m free to take a nap. Obviously this isn’t every day, and if she had the night off I might sleep in. We just communicate what we need.
dallasbrowneyes
New member
@nessofonett05 Soon no one will sleep in. So while he needs a lot of sleep creating a second baby while watching my first was the most exhausted I’ve been. So you get more TBH
ericlarrybob1
New member
@nessofonett05 730 is sleeping in!? jeeez im sorry. husband and I take turns every other day he has off. we get "alone time"/"sleep in time" until 12 PM lol. on his days I usually dont bother him until 2 PM but we are also late nightwrs.
sarahmarie123
New member
@nessofonett05 With my first child I did most of the wake ups as my husband is really hard to wake in the night. If my first was up for a while, I’d tag him in and he’d take little one downstairs so I could get some sleep. He always gave me lie ins on the weekend, but he’s always been a pig to wake up in the night (he has tinitus and sleeps with headphones most nights). I had to have a few conversations about him being irritated when I woke him up for my first when I was pregnant with number 2- he used to get annoyed if I woke him even if I’d already done several wakeups. I don’t think he meant to be irritated he was just being a bit of a dick stomping about clearly annoyed because he was still half asleep but after I told him how unfair he was being to me he’s never complained/ stomped around again in the night. In fact since we had the second he’s taken on all the early mornings with toddler and takes baby so I can get lie ins.
What I’m saying is, have a serious conversation about it and see if you can find a way so that both your sleep needs are met. Do it now- not when it’s going to be even harder for you both.
Also- yes toddlers are annoying but toddler obvs wants to see him. If he woke up earlier, got the cuddles done, maybe toddler would be happy to play while he ate at the same time.
What I’m saying is, have a serious conversation about it and see if you can find a way so that both your sleep needs are met. Do it now- not when it’s going to be even harder for you both.
Also- yes toddlers are annoying but toddler obvs wants to see him. If he woke up earlier, got the cuddles done, maybe toddler would be happy to play while he ate at the same time.
@nessofonett05 Hmm. I have a high needs/high maintenance husband, and I just let it go. I tried getting him to get up, but it didn't work and wasn't worth the headache. My oldest is 10, and by the time he was 4 or 5, he slept in at least til 8am or sometimes later on weekends and holidays. So I just count off the years til we reach that time again with our youngest. In the grand scheme of things, it isn't long, and my husband is, unfortunately, the one missing out on early morning fun. For the record, I'm not naturally a morning person at all. I am, however, mindful of how little time I have with my little people before they become bigger people. Also I enjoy making breakfast and watching cartons and playtime in pajamas before the weekend days start. It's super fun. I hope my kids remember the time fondly.
@nessofonett05 Sleep equality is a big one. Trade off the baby monitor and who gets up with the toddler at the butt crack of dawn. I’m sure you don’t want to be up at 5:45 either! If he is tired he can go to bed earlier the next night or catch a nap if possible.
That said, how old is your toddler? I got my kiddos in bed until 7:30 starting around 2, using a ready to wake light. You start where they are at and creep it forward gradually until a reasonable hour.
That said, how old is your toddler? I got my kiddos in bed until 7:30 starting around 2, using a ready to wake light. You start where they are at and creep it forward gradually until a reasonable hour.
afterthelordsheart
New member
@nessofonett05 You need to start alternating mornings
talusjumper
New member
@nessofonett05 Mine will sleep until 10 if I don't wake him up 
He has a weird job so he's used to staying up late and getting up late. Since I went back to work though he gets up with our son on my work days. On my days off I get up early but I wake him up at 9 and then go take a nap.
He has a weird job so he's used to staying up late and getting up late. Since I went back to work though he gets up with our son on my work days. On my days off I get up early but I wake him up at 9 and then go take a nap.@nessofonett05 I’m a high sleep needs person. I’m also a parent so that doesn’t fly. I got up at 6 AM for 8 years. If you need more sleep then you have to go to bed earlier.
Baby number 2 and this won’t fly OP. Especially if you nurse. I literally could not nurse, feed a toddler and feed myself in the morning. Dad needed to be up handling the toddler and I had the baby. You need to start this conversation now.
Baby number 2 and this won’t fly OP. Especially if you nurse. I literally could not nurse, feed a toddler and feed myself in the morning. Dad needed to be up handling the toddler and I had the baby. You need to start this conversation now.
@nessofonett05 My husband also has sleep apnea. He does not get to have breakfast in peace and you get one day on the weekends to sleep-in. If he needs more sleep he can go to bed earlier ( my husband sometimes goes to bed at 8 pm). I did all the night wakings with our first and got up with him. By the time our second rolled around we’d gotten into the groove of taking turns getting up with him. With our second my husband tapped in for night wakings when the baby refused to settle which meant a lot and I was the one who slept in on the weekends until I got to a point where I wasn’t being woken up more than once a night and we took turns again.