Considering quitting to SAH- looking for perspective on kid in full-time daycare

[trinny]

@billyli If money is not an issue, and it sounds like it wouldn’t be if you can afford daycare on one salary, you could keep him in daycare but reduce the hours he’s in. Maybe put him in like 9-2 or something. You’d be paying the same rate, but if he doesn’t need daycare but you still want the benefits, may be a good compromise

 

[andre002]

@billyli I would keep working, but I’m a regretful SAHM by circumstance (we moved). My kiddo loved daycare & our time with him in evenings and weekends was amazing.

The studies on daycare don’t really (from what I’ve seen) account for socio-economic status, quality of care OR parental quality of life.

My personal mental/physical health as a SAHM is no where near as good as when I worked. I got more time to myself, adult interaction, mental stimulation, etc. not to mention that I’m probably decreasing my lifetime earnings in the order of 500-600k (maybe more) by taking this time out

So tbh unless there’s a very compelling reason to stay home, I wouldn’t.

 

[billyli]

@andre002 I don’t think there’s a very compelling reason, other than it’s a fairly large distraction that I don’t feel motivated for. I resent that it takes away my time and energy from my kids. It’s impacting my breastfeeding of my baby, and I resent that too. I also don’t have time for anything for myself, which I’ve adapted to except for exercise - exercise is important to me and it’s difficult with working full time and having young kids. And we don’t NEED the money (even though the salary and earning potential I’m leaving is very substantial)…

 

[aparnatrophy]

@billyli You may not need the money today, but consider that your excess income could go towards higher education for your kids and retirement for yourself (so your kids wont be burdened). The generational wealth you could give to your children could very well be a better boost in life than being a sahp as long as your work doesnt make you absent from their life entirely.

 

[billyli]

@aparnatrophy I feel this and it’s one of the major cons. But I’m hopeful that when they’re older and don’t need me as much, I can get back into work and making money. I’m trying to shift my mindset from thinking that money is the best thing I can provide for them to maybe my time is the more valuable asset i have right now. Idk. It’s all so hard and complicated and there are no right answers. And our society isn’t any help at all.