@nomalanga I‘m so sorry for your loss, this sounds like a very hard time for you.
I‘m about to give birth to my son, and to be honest I‘ve been asking myself the same question every day - how am I supposed to be a father figure to him and teach him how to be a man?
I have no clue yet. But your last sentence broke my heart, you are a great mummy and from this post alone I can see how much you love your son.
You‘ll raise an amazing boy and he‘ll be so thankful to have such a strong woman as his mother, I am sure of this! Try not to worry too much, I hope you will feel better soon and have support around you xx