Babies Won’t Eat

ramin

New member
First, I apologize for this rambling post… I’m not great at navigating Reddit and honestly, feel like I’m at my wit’s My twins (both female) were born at 31 weeks, 5 days after PPROM 24 hours earlier. I got steroid shots and magnesium in the 24 hrs leading up to the birth. Baby A was 3 lb, 6 oz and Baby B was 4 lb, 1 oz at birth. Today, they would be 37 weeks and 6 days and weigh 6 lb, 9oz (baby A) and 7 lb, 3 oz (baby B).

Both babies were on room air right away and I think that set me up for unreasonable expectations as I was convinced they’d sail through the nicu. A week after birth, Baby A was put on a low flow nasal canula for a couple days due to drifting desats but has been off that since late in week 32.

Our struggle is eating. I’m watching other babies around us drink full bottles w ease at much younger gestational ages and baby after baby (including other twins) discharge. I know all babies are different, but I’m going insane. The hospital didn’t let us try a bottle or breastfeeding until 34.5 weeks gestational age. Both babies sipped a few ml a feed for a week-ish and Baby A surprised us and took a full bottle at 35 and 6. Baby A then went back to taking 5-10 ml at a time by PO. Baby B has had steadier advancement, and has maxed out at consuming about 60% of her total feeds on two days (w a 30% day in between) and Baby A typically consumes 25% P.O. but has had a few random days recently at 50-60%. Both babies are eating w Dr. Brown’s preemie nipples.

Speech tried to keep us on ultrapreemie nipple for Baby A but she gets so mad when eating w it and then just gives up after taking ~5 ml’s. During her NG feed (whatever’s leftover after she stops drinking) she’ll root like crazy and chow down on her hands, clothes, or blankets. If on me, she’ll wriggle her tiny body to my breasts to try to nurse. She does decently well at breastfeeding w a size 20 nipple shield and can take an ounce in 7ish minutes w no incident. She will choke on the Dr. brown’s preemie nipple (seemingly more in the last 3 days) if I don’t pace her carefully.

Baby B just stays asleep most of the time during cares/feeding time but does seem well coordinated, and even can finish a bottle on occasion in her sleep with no events. But other times she won’t even try to drink or will take 10 mls and quit.

They are fed every 3 hrs and if they don’t drink enough, they finish via NG. Both babies are fed in side lying, elevated position. Any suggestions as to other bottles/nipples/techniques to try? Any other general suggestions (other than that I need to chill out and just wait)? It’s so hard when I’m basically using up all my maternity leave while they’re in the hospital and it still seems like there is no end in sight.
 
@ramin I don’t really have any advice, but I do have empathy for you. I had my twins in Sept via scheduled C-section at 35+1. I thought surely since we had made it so far for mono/di twins, we would do a week, maybe 2 MAX in the NICU. Unfortunately, that was not how it turned out for us. We stayed 28 days and got out at 39 weeks gestation. Mine had some breathing issues as well as feeding + growing. I was soooo frustrated with their bottle progress. They nursed pretty great, but my hospital “didn’t count” nursing progress?! Anyway, they say “it just clicks” at some point, and I guess it sort of does. We obviously saw a lot of progress toward the end of our stay. I was frustrated bc mine were having a lot of Brady episodes due to reflux, which was caused by the neosure they were putting in my milk. Once we took that out, my twins were out within a week. Anyway, I know it’s a very tough journey, and hopefully your little girls will be turning that corner soon. I was so frustrated that one day my husband decided I needed a bit of a break, and we took our oldest to the zoo for the morning and back to the NICU in the afternoon. I think it did help.

Side note- try to get some rest before they come home. The night before mine came home, my husband and I enjoyed a dinner out with just the two of us. We were hoping they would stay on the “NICU schedule” with sleep, but they were not into sleeping much when they first got home. It was nice to have one last evening out before that. Best of luck!!!
 
@eternity75 Thank you for your kind reply!! I know everyone says “the lightbulb will turn on” but I keep panicking because we seem so behind our nicu neighbors. I appreciate hearing another twin parent say that it will happen though :)
 
@ramin It will! Mine felt so behind, so I know that feeling. I couldn’t understand why I saw so many posts in twin groups saying how their babies needed no NICU or just a few days, and mine were just not seeming to progress. Hang in there! My friend is a NICU nurse and told me not to expect much progress on the ultra premie nipple bc soooo little comes out. Mine were released on premie nipples
 
@ramin My daughter spent her last 2 weeks in the NICU solely working on feeding (she was born at 38 weeks, but less than 5lbs because of IUGR. We were there for a month). What worked for us was a wonderful nurse who suggested letting her go 3.5 hours between feeds instead of 3 - just a little extra time to let her get hungrier. The doctors let us try it, she took 90% that day, they pulled the NG the next day, and we were home 2 days after that. Hang in there! It's the worst part but it will happen.
 
@ramin So much solidarity and want to echo the others who’ve chimed in! Our son was born at 33+4 - also a mono/di twin but his brother passed after TTTS surgery - and he sailed through most milestones but was stuck with feeding for two weeks. He would just tire himself out and get drifty quickly. The week he came home it truly just clicked - progression was 20% PO on Monday, 54% on Tuesday, 90% on Wednesday, 100% on Thursday and he came home on Friday, 36w exactly. It was a total surprise and our nursery is still only half set up, two weeks later.

We also used, and still use, lots of tricks the nurses taught us - rotating the bottle, pulling it out slightly, shifting his position, burping breaks, changing his diaper midway through - when he does his bottles but he’s regularly eating 90mL per feed nowadays.

Hope your babes click soon - take lots of good care of yourself in the meantime!
 
@ramin I still have a lot of unresolved feelings surrounding the birth of my twins, my complications, and their nicu stay. So for that reason I can’t go into too much detail. Mine were born by c-section at 31+3 after PPROM 5 days prior. They were in the nicu 51 days for baby a and 66+ days for baby b (she was transferred to a step down nicu so the days kinda got messed up for my count).

You’re lucky enough to have SLP it seems like, some other nicu’s have OT which also do feedings. I leaned HARD on SLP during our feeding struggles. The nurses didn’t always agree with their recommendations, but Speech is king in my opinion with feeding. My baby a took more on the size 1 nipple, but after a swallow study due to a strong stridor we found out she was silently aspirating and she NEEDED the preemie nipple to learn.

My baby b had major issues around feeding which turned into a nipple aversion because we tried to rush her. She was nearly sent to an intensive specialty hospital for a 6 week stay to learn to feed, but then it clicked for her. She was very sleepy, struggled with her suck/swallow/breathe reflex, and when we pushed to feed her more she would vomit green and get ill. I remember celebrating her taking 12mls by mouth meanwhile her sister was taking 50. Speech was her biggest advocate and they got everyone in line on how to feed her. Our SLPs are the reason she didn’t end up in a specialty hospital even further away.

It’s so so hard to just watch and wait and learn. It seems like the minutes drag by and the days fly and you just want them home so bad. But my honest recommendation is to sit with Speech, talk to them about your feelings, and try to embrace their suggestions. They really do know what they’re doing.
 
@misslefty Im sure you’re right. I struggle with the SLPs bc our babies were born in the third week of November, so ALL the specialists have been somewhat MIA because of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I’m lucky if we see a SLP once in a week, so frankly, I don’t trust them bc it seems like they don’t know anything about my babies from a few 20 minute visits. However, I recognize they’re professionals for this stuff and I am not.

It also just feels like everyone is goofing off and doesn’t want to be there with the holidays. Frankly I think I’m just losing it mental health wise and this lack of support and professionalism from some nicu staff isn’t helping. If I hear one more person say “well remember your babies shouldn’t be here yet” when ALL I want is to still be pregnant, I’m going to snap. I had another nurse tell me today that “your babies just want to live here til kindergarten.” None of that is funny to me and I wish folks had a little more emotional intelligence that that isn’t a good thing to say to a crying mom.
 
@ramin Bonding with the nicu staff saved my sanity, I can’t begin to imagine how hopeless it all feels without that connection. You make a really great point about holidays messing with schedules and routines too.

The lack of connection is going to make everything so much harder. I was diagnosed with heart failure and put on meds that made it unsafe for me to pump breast milk. One nurse wasn’t updated and I felt almost harassed by how many times she said “we need more milk, mom!” Like jeez lady, I’m literally trying to stay alive over here I can’t stress about my poison milk.

I hope you can find someone there to talk to and feel close with. I got close with one of the child therapists (during Covid precautions so kids weren’t allowed to visit) and she would come by every other day just to chat. There was a cleaning lady who recently lost her mom, and she said being around the babies helped her feel better. There was a nurse we only had one time but she really rallied for baby b. I’m sorry for everything you and the girls are going through. It really just sucks.
 
@ramin No advice here, but I can commiserate with you - I almost could’ve written this post. My babies were born at 30w and are now almost 39w. I’m so frustrated by the revolving door of nurses around the holidays and I feel like progress has really stalled out. I keep hearing one day it will just click for them, but my babies are both finishing bottles, but it’s only a 1-3 times a day and the rest of the feeds are so sporadic - 10-20mls, nothing, 40ml. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. Baby A is ready to go otherwise so it’s so frustrating having feeding hold us up when they are nearly term now. Baby B has some health problems so it’s a bit more understandable. She is still on low flow oxygen and has an enlarged tongue (she has BWS) so this contributes to the feeding difficulties.

Hope this makes you feel less alone anyways. I hope our babies are home soon 💕
 
@ramin With feeding, it will be like a switch. One day they will just drink the entire bottle. In many cases, the baby is comfortable. “Hey mom and dad, I get to relax and get full without eating myself, what an amazing resort” lol

For my son I had to rotate the bottle so that he would know the nipple was in his mouth and he would continue sucking.

But trust me, one day they will just start drinking and the next thing they will be discharging them. One day my son was like “Dad this resort is cool and all but it is time to go” out of the blue he started drinking his entire bottles
 
@christianguy_1988 This is so true. My 31 weeker struggled with feeds until about 38 weeks, when she started scarfing down whole bottles practically overnight. She came home a few days after that. It really does just click. Don’t worry mama, this is very normal and will pass soon!!
 
@ramin I don’t have much advice but one day it just clicked for our girl. She would take about 10-15 mls and rest through a tube, sometimes we got an ounce.

She had eye surgery at 38 weeks and had to not bottle feed for almost a week and a half. Once that was over and we tried bottles again she just went at it. Passed her 75% by feeds in 2 days and we had zero issues. We had to stay on Dr brown preemie nipples and we just took her to 1 as of last week at 5 weeks corrected.

It will click one day. Just for reference our girl was born at 24+1.
 
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