Anyone else freak out before big appointments?

mommybiker

New member
I am 20w+4 and have my 20 week anatomy scan today…. And I’m so anxious I can’t sit still. I have heard so many moms say that it’s beautiful and you finally get to really see your baby but I’ve heard so many others say that this scan is when they got bad news. I’m typically anxious before appointments (nervous about weight, fat shaming, blood pressure, really anything related to me being a plus sized mom) but my anxiety is through the roof for this one and I’m so nervous it’s going to be bad news. Any advice? How do you cope before big appointments?
 
@mommybiker I never like scan days unless it’s a private fun scan I’ve booked. Hospital scan days are checking babies viability and checking to see if baby is okay. I saw so many people calling the 20 week scan the gender scan and saying how they were so excited and I couldn’t comprehend that. I was so focused on babies health and praying they were okay, their gender was the absolute least of my worries.

I have been very very nervous and scared before and during all my scans. But all of my scans have come back great! My advice to you is to focus on breathing exercises, don’t worry if the tech is quiet , they’re more than likely just focusing on getting all measurements before baby moves.

Know that it’s VERY common to have to come back again for a retest due to babies position, most women leave the 20 week scan with positive news, focus on that!

Regarding weight, they never mentioned it but at the top of my scan report it mentioned something in medical speech that basically said I was chubby 😂 they didn’t say anything about weight nor did they struggle. Also my blood pressure has not yet once been an issue x
 
@mommybiker I as well freak out before appointments, my anatomy scan is in 2 weeks and I’m just anxiously waiting for it everyday. I’m also always scared at appointments because of my weight and blood pressure, I had gestational hypertension with my first pregnancy now I’m always worried I’ll have it again or chronic hypertension.

I’m also scared getting into the 20 week mark because I’m at higher risk for preeclampsia, it’s all just very scary. All I try to do is take deep breaths and keep my mind off of it, whatever happens at the appointment is going to happen whether I freak out or not so I just try to ignore all the worrying for as long as I can. I keep myself busy with cleaning, planning, caring for my toddler, and watching my comfort shows to help with the anxiety.
 
@mommybiker Every time! I don’t really have many coping mechanisms, I just have to do my best to remind myself that I cannot control the universe and that I must deal with consequences as they happen.

Edit: I am 27+5 now. About to have my 28 week scan. They did find an anomaly at my 20 week scan and it was scary for a moment but it is something we are dealing with and we are very lucky it isn’t the most serious of issues.
 
@mommybiker I had my anatomy scan this morning and it was delightful.
The sonographer explained everything she was looking at and made me feel really comfortable.

It put my mind at ease to see my little lentil just boppin' away in there. That's what I focus on at every appointment, every time I see her wiggle or hear her heartbeat it's confirmation that my and her bodies are doing what they're supposed to.

I hope you have an easy breezy appointment and nothing but good news!
 
@mommybiker Sure do. I’m a reproductive rights reporter and all I’ve done for the past almost 6 months is report about women who had something go terribly wrong with their pregnancies. Which involves interviewing them about all the emotional details of it. So every appointment makes me nervous.

We will get through it! Try to remember the odds are on your side and no matter what happens, you’ll be okay.
 
@coreyclark It has not been easy, but it’s still better than my first pregnancy when I got fired from my job (not in journalism) at six months pregnant two months into COVID. Lol.
 
@mommybiker I called it “scanxiety” and it is very real ❤️

When I was pregnant, I was 41, overweight, and had gestational diabetes. Because of the combination, I got to have biometric ultrasounds every two weeks in my second trimester and every week in my third.

By the middle of my second trimester, it started to get a lot better. I knew she was growing well, and it was almost reassuring to see her that often and know that everything was growing as it should be.
 
@mommybiker Mine was 2 weeks ago, and I have to go back in next week for another because baby wasn’t cooperating. She kept her ankles crossed the whole time, and had her hand on her face so couldn’t get all measurements. Everything looks good and healthy, and there wasn’t any concern with my weight at all with this scan, however at my dating scan, I had to have a transvaginal scan because they couldn’t get an accurate measurement abdominally at 10 weeks. At 20 weeks, baby is much bigger.
 
@mommybiker I got bad news, that my daughter had a VSD in her heart. It ended up being a blessing in disguise because the VSD closed up by the time we did a fetal echo a month later, but they still did weekly monitoring until I gave birth. It was very scary for a moment, but you learn to adjust your expectations to suit your baby’s needs.
 
@mommybiker Ugh, I feel this. My appointment is next week. Everyone is excited about gender and I haven’t even let myself get really excited by the pregnancy yet. Not to mention the fat shaming I anticipate
 
@mommybiker My 8 week scan I was so scared that they would find something wrong, but the girl doing my ultrasound was in training and she was so sweet and reassuring. She was showing me the screen with the heartbeat and got all the measurements.

Then the tech came in that was out of training and checked for herself. Good googely moogely I thought she was trying to give me a C Section right there. She didn't say a word to me as she rammed the wand right into my psoriasis covered gut. It hurt so bad. Now I'm back to sweating over ultrasounds lol
 
@jossey21 It went well! Baby is right on track growth wise, everything looks good! That’s the most important thing, but Dr did walk me through the extra appointments and NSTs for baby on my third trimester because I’m considered high risk due to BMI. Kind of annoyed but also kind of glad I’m getting extra care just in case.
 
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