Any articles on car seat time limit safety? Husband wants to take 6 m y/o on 25 hour trrip

[umaid]

Hi all,

My FIL is turning 70 in September and my husband's family wants to surprise him with a road trip down south (Toronto to Florida Keys) which they've done many times in only 2 days.

I'm very hesitant to take our LO on this trip. I told him I'd stay behind with our son (who will be 6 months at the time) but my husband is insistent that we go. I know there's a 2 hour limit in the car seat so I told him if we take him we'd have to tack on at least 1/4 extra time to take him out of the carseat, stretch, play, diaper change etc. My husband thinks he should be fine if we go over this limit and wants to try and make it to Florida in 2 days (12.5 hours driving per day). Anyone have any papers/articles/research on carseat time limits and problems with going over these limits? Any advice welcome though! Thanks!

Note: I don't want to fly (no mask mandate).

 

[mkueny153]

@umaid Hahahaha outside of the science of it, he thinks having a 6 month old on a road trip would mean taking the same amount of time???

He is either delusional or he plans to let baby cry and be miserable, lacking empathy.

How would the baby even eat?????? He knows your child eats every few hours right??? The whole thing is wow

 

[2cor129]

@mkueny153 Every two hours, stop for an hour to find mom a good spot to feed the baby. Simple and fun for the whole family! Change diapers? No problem! The hood of the car will be nice and warm, perfect for a diaper change! /s

 

[rylt]

@umaid We did multiple 5-12 hour car trips with our son between 11 months and 18 months. We got more successful each time. What it very much came down to was stopping every 90-150 minutes or so (except during naps, we just kept driving through naps) at a space with grass where little one could eat, get a diaper change, and roll around/crawl/and later walk in the grass and play. Even then we still had crying at the ends of the trips.

Highly. Highly do not recommend what your husband is wanting to do.

That is going to be so unpleasant for everyone involved. Not to mention, that poor baby's butt is going to be so sore if you aren't stopping for diaper changes regularly. Maybe also try to remind your husband that babies can't move in their carseats as much as we can, so that is also going to make baby sore (muscle-wise) in places. Ask him to sit in a car seat without moving his legs around for that long.

 

[capalay]

@rylt I upvoted you since everyone hates my response Definitely agree that trying to go long & hard all day would be tough. We split the two day drive into 3 just for that reason.

Pre-Covid we tried to stop for lunch at restaurants with parks & indoor play places which was good too.

 

[cutin]

@umaid I answered this the other day so if you'll excuse the laziness I'll link The rest of the discussion on that thread is also helpful, although an older child.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ScienceBasedParenting/comments/u6ib4f/toddler_sleeping_overnight_in_the_car_for_a_road

The problems other than positional asphyxia are risks relating to development of the spine and lack of opportunity to practice motor development. I feel like these are highly unlikely to be significant problems when you're talking about a one off day or two in the car, and not a regular daily pattern where the infant is constantly in a restricted position. Development isn't that fast that you can mess it up with two days.

Completely not science based: Your 6 month old is highly likely to freak the fuck out and be upset if you try to jam him constantly in a car seat for several hours for two days straight. Breaks would absolutely be beneficial for all of your mental health.

 

[umaid]

@cutin Thanks! This is exactly the type of info I needed!!

 

[mkueny153]

@umaid seriously tho OP. I know you’re trying to use science to convince your partner.

But he should respect you and have a modicum of common sense to not have to read studies to know that the experience would be miserable.

There is no science study that will tell you that a 6 month old won’t happily last in a car 12.5 hours a day. Consideration for your spouse and baby’s comfort is usually what will tell a person that.

 

[umaid]

@mkueny153 You're right. Even if there were no studies, I'd assert that it's a bad idea.

 

[2cor129]

@umaid Just tell your husband to imagine he himself buckled into a car seat, looking at the same thing, in the same position, unable to adjust clothes or really move, and ask him if he could do it for 25 hours. Heck, buckle him into the car and tell him you will be back in 25 hours. The insanity is clear to everyone but him.

 

[umaid]

@2cor129 I hear you. I'll have him picture this!

 

[jandr]

@umaid Just a personal perspective: I did what was supposed to be a 12-hour drive with my husband and child at 3 months. It ended up taking 19 hours and was definitely one of the worst days of my life. For the love of your marriage and your child, put your foot down about this and don't do it!

On the way back we split it into two six hour days. We planned out stops at parks and stayed overnight at the Grand Canyon. There were still some difficult moments but it was actually enjoyable. If you absolutely must do the road trip, break it into chunks as much as possible.

 

[sawry1]

@umaid Okay. There’s plenty of evidence available and already posted in this thread about the positional risks.

But here’s my personal anecdote: The first year of my daughters life we took a 7 hour drive every other month for her grandparents to see her. (They came on the other months to see us at our house, when we went there we always spent at least 2 weeks before driving back). She is a very easy baby in our opinion and didn’t mind being in the car for short trips as long as someone was sitting next to her. Firstly I would start by saying, these trips only gradually got harder until she hit about a year of age so the older they are does not necessarily mean the trip will be easier. I would say 6-9 months were our hardest trips with her to be honest. We would start early in the morning so that the first couple of hours were guaranteed sleep for her and even with that we absolutely HAD to stop every two hours just because of nursing and diaper changes alone. It came out to a total of 4 stops each way and let me just say by the 3rd and 4th stops (so only 4 hours of driving time had passed) she was screaming her head off any time she was in the seat, and she’d have a full on tantrum when we’d put her back in the seat after taking her out for breaks. Not to be dramatic, but when she was on the older end she would almost be traumatized by the car for a couple of weeks after a trip too, like scared to get in her car seat and just miserable even for short trips once we got home for a couple of weeks. Not only was it hard on me and her, but my fiancé who had agreed to drive the whole way so I could focus in manual pumping and stuff like that ended up having to pull over and let me drive because he literally couldn’t focus on the road for that long of a time of her crying. So positional risks aside, it’s probably worth qualifying it as distracted driving to have an angry baby in the back seat while trying to drive a long stretch.

And all this is to make the point that this was only on a 7 hour drive (turned 9 hour drive) let alone a two day nearly 13 hour a day trip. You guys would have to drive from Before dawn until late at night to make it in two days and you’d both be mentally and physically exhausted. And if you don’t plan these stops ahead of time baby will force you to stop when it is least convenient/potentially unsafe.

And don’t even get me started on what a trip like this in the car does to a baby’s sleep. Idk what kind of sleeper you have, my daughter was pretty darn amazing with sleep, but some of these trips she’d end up sleeping huge chunks of time through the drive and being up 4+ hours early or skipping naps the next day.

 

[umaid]

@sawry1 Thanks for your story. It's enough to put my foot down to this trip!

 

[sawry1]

@umaid I hope it helps! In our case it was worth it for the memories/bonding with grandparents and it really wasn’t a super long drive. But for a trip that long for little benefit it might be setting you all up for some bad memories.

 

[freckledwilding]

@umaid As long as we're going by anectdotal evidence this sort of trauma is not the norm for children in my experience. I've been on a lot of trips with small infants (big family.) Most children just sleep or learn to be comfortable without screaming their heads off. My own child easily does 9 hour drives to her grandparents. It's actually gotten easier as she's gotten older because she's more able to entertain herself now. But even early on, there was no trauma from riding in the car.

Did you come here for evidence or for confirmation of your own opinion? How would you feel if your husband got on here and made a post seeking validation for his own side of this argument?

 

[sawry1]

@freckledwilding The point is that either thing can happen. But a risk of it being a traumatic experience increases if one parent is not on the same page as the other about how often the car needs to be stopped to care for baby’s needs.

And if you’re going to find out your child is like mine I’m sure someone would rather not find it out 7 hours into a 25 hour (likely to turn 32 hour+) road trip on the first round of the trip.

 

[umaid]

@freckledwilding I was looking for any articles/papers/research, expert opinions or anecdotal evidence. Actually I was open to driving with LO but what I disagreed upon was going over car seat time limits and trying to make it with 12.5 hours driving one day and another 12.5 hours the next (just seemed like too much for me). And that's on the way there (another 12.5 and 12.5 back home). I wasn't asking anyone to validate my feelings rather I'm all ears to anything. Hence all advice is welcome.

 

[koinonia10]

@umaid One thing to keep in mind, 12.5 hours of drive time will likely take longer with a baby.

We have done two road trips to see family. It is supposed to take 6.5 to get there and with stops to change diapers, feed him, and for us to eat takes us more like 9 hours.

 

[katrina2017]

@umaid The air on planes is filtered. Just fly. Spending that much time on highways is probably more danger than whatever risk of covid comes with flying. Especially those long hours when you’re tired. Just fly.