@sakura656 “Now I see where your kid gets it from. I’ve met barnyard animals with better manners than you two.”
Then I’d have complained to the museum staff. Tell them what happened, they probably have cameras, then avoid the future of daytime talk shows. You can complain without being a Karen.
If her best comeback is to target your body, she’s got nothing and knows it. She’s complaining to other moms because she knows she ain’t right but needs to feel that way anyway.
@sakura656 Her behaviour explains why her 6 year old is shoving and taking toys from a 2 year old. I agree that you should report the incident to the museum so they can pass the complaint onto the school.
@sakura656 I wish you would’ve told her, “It’s 2023, telling someone they have a fat ass hasn’t been an insult in at least 10 years. But too bad for you, bc ugly is forever!”
@sakura656 I’m sure this won’t win me any fans, but I see this whole event a little differently. And I mean this in the most respectful way, but we need to look beyond just the “kill aggressor! End embarrassment!” instinct being triggered here.
This is really about peaceful and successful conflict management. You help your child most by showing conflict management skills, not ability to insult or willingness to fight physically over a very common childhood occurrence. Some of the parents in here are admittedly aggressive. We all love and want to protect our children - is this what you want to be teaching them? Because it seems like that is just adding to the problem - people overly aggressively and using anger instead of deescalating and using compromise.
I’d kill anyone who hurt my kids- but I have to temper that feeling, because I don’t want my kids feeling like the way you handle conflict or protect against hurt or potential encroachment on rights is immediately rage and fighting. Because my kids will end up with few friends and a lot of scars. That’s not the life I want for them.
Deescalate
Address the problem, not the person
Build allies, not enemies
Stand your ground, but don’t build an empire
Be an upstander, not a bystander
We’d be a lot less divided in general if we worked more on our conflict resolution skills and less on our ability to insult and hurt in kind.
@sakura656 Technically, it’s still developmentally normal for a 6 year old to not have impulse control. Although it was emotionally immature and wrong for her to talk to you that way, I personally wouldn’t scold another persons 6 year old that way and maybe just redirect them away from my own kid instead to not deal with the lack of supervision and intervention from the parent. Not all 6 year olds act this way of course, but all kids are different with varying needs, behavioral problems, disorders, etc.
Edit: children’s impulse control actually starts developing at 3-4 but isn’t fully functional until around age 7, but even then kids need support from parents. Also, you’d have to consider the possibility of different types of neurodivergence the kid may have
@sadiqur How is saying don’t push and give the carrot back “scolding” I’m curious what they should do? Nothing? Just move the 2yo on and let the 6yo have the carrot?
@zajudah She “..told her very sternly, do NOT push”, that’s scolding someone else’s kid. She could of said it differently or with more compassion bc you have no idea what this child is struggling with and considering the moms reaction and them literally being kicked out of the place bc this child is “misbehaving” that badly at 6, there is probably more going on at home that isn’t being properly handled. I personally would redirect the pushing by either moving somewhere else with my kid and finding the parents.
@sadiqur I have a neurodivergent child and that’s no excuse for poor behavior.
Yes it’s always nice to have compassion and remember that hurt people, hurt people but what does that teach the 2yo? Accept being shoved and walk away bc that kid might have a hard life? Nothing wrong with a stern reminder!! She didn’t yell, cuss, name call, etc. 6-10yo can always use reminders. My grandma was stern and didn’t take nothing.
@zajudah I didn’t say it was an excuse, nor did I say that the 2 year old should just be ok with it. I was simply pointing out that scolding kids that you have no background knowledge about is not great. I also have a neurodivergent child and I am trying to teach him defensive strategies for when he get scratched at daycare, but I personally would never angrily scold the children for doing that because they are toddlers and not my children. However in this situation the kid was 6 so it makes sense for her to get frustrated like that. I was just pointing out that 6 is actually still really young and there could be other contributing factors to this.
@sakura656 I did something similar - my 2 year old was on the playground and a 3 year old started punching her. I told him not to hit my kid and to apologize and didn’t leave until he did so.
Here’s the thing: I wasn’t parenting someone else’s kid, I was showing MY kid that I will always have her back, and modeling how she should handle conflict. I was protecting her & letting her know that she’s safe. You were too.
I have choice words for someone who would be so cruel to anyone let alone newly postpartum mother (i have a 2 month old as well). My 2 year old told me a few weeks back that she loves my belly because “it’s so big!” which is the only way I’ll be letting people talk about my body from now on lol
The parents of a 6 year old that doesn't know shoving down a toddler and taking shit from them is wrong? Like I don't know what you expected here, a kid that behaves like that is probably gonna have shitty entitled parents.
I personally would have gone to the museum staff and let them handle it.
@sakura656 What the… What’s wrong with this person? Im sorry you went through this. Honestly id be tempted to say something snarky back but in this case i think it was wise to just let this one go… Too low of a stoop to stoop down to. I learned the hard way by feeding back into ridiculous and rude comments. Now, if it threatens my safety that’s a different story.
