@sakura656 "I can see where your kid got their people skills from"
divinityisgod
New member
@sakura656 I think you did everything right but gosh I’d love to imagine a scenario where you retorted “maybe instead of admiring my ass, you should get off YOURS and keep your eyes on your bully child and discipline her so strangers don’t have to.”
@divinityisgod Ahhhh I love it hahaha
evangiline
New member
@sakura656 I would have talked to the staff at the museum and definitely found out what organization the mom was with. I’d let everyone know what her actions were.
Then I’d take a break away from the lady and continue to let my child play. I am big on stating loudly what kind of actions and play are appropriate. I have worked in childcare and can’t turn that off. The trick is not taking it personal and just stating facts. With an unruly adult it’s best to bring in other adults. Especially staff at the museum.
But the biggest thing is to keep your littles safe and it sounds like that is exactly what you did.
Then I’d take a break away from the lady and continue to let my child play. I am big on stating loudly what kind of actions and play are appropriate. I have worked in childcare and can’t turn that off. The trick is not taking it personal and just stating facts. With an unruly adult it’s best to bring in other adults. Especially staff at the museum.
But the biggest thing is to keep your littles safe and it sounds like that is exactly what you did.
@sakura656 Honestly, it’s totally fine that you addressed it then left it. People are scary these days, and crazy aggressive. You asked what we’d do under the circumstances, and here’s what I would do (and have done):
Stay calm, and start filming with your phone.
“Lady, your child physically attacked my 1 year old child unprovoked. Your response has been to disregard the harm and verbally attack me. You should know that you are liable for any and all harm caused by your child to another person, including mine, as well as any harm you cause or invite. This is a warning, and we’re in a public place. (We are likely being filmed with onsite cctv cameras.) I encourage you disengage with me, as I will be sending this to the city and to my retained counsel.” Then talk to management - not guards, but people actually managing the museum - explain what happened, identify the individual. If that person is with a school the school will be warned. If it happens again, they won’t be welcome back.
Now, that said, I’m a lawyer. I’ll say sh!t like that every day and twice on Sunday because I’m happy to back it up. Use it or don’t, whatever you’re comfortable with. Just make sure you’re always willing to back up what you say- people can tell when you’re bluffing if you’re scared.
Insults and comebacks may feel good in the moment, but they can make the situation much worse. They tend to be tv moments - things that seem awesome on tv, the scene ends, everyone s feels vindicated. But in real life, there’s no applause track and you’re still staring at each other afterwards. It’s risky.
If they say “you can’t film me!” That’s crap. It’s a public place. You can’t air it publicly without permission. But generally, I just nod and smile and say thanks for letting me know. And keep filming.
Finally, I want to mention witnessing stuff like this. Especially parents. Please stand up for each other. That doesn’t mean getting into fights or sticking pointy fingers in faces. It means not leaving people to be attacked unfairly and alone even when they’re surrounded by people. Say something. Do something. You can just say “hey- stop that.” Or “what the hell.” Or “leave her alone.” Or just agree with her out loud and say “your kid pushed her kid.” This other woman sounds like a bully, and these statements undermine bully’s confidence that they won’t be challenged.
Bullies feed on people being too scared to say anything. They fade to nothing when anyone tells them they have no right to do what they are doing, are acting like a bully, and are generally just showing how insecure and weak they are (this woman seems insecure about her own child’s behavior - and likely fears being viewed as heavy).
Don’t let your fear of being attacked give bullies free rein. That just lets them feel like they can pick on you, next time. Especially when kids are around - all of those kids learned that when a kid does something wrong, the way to deal with it is bully the other person into thinking it was their fault, then reinforce that with name calling and gathering onlookers and fear. How do you think your child would react with that knowledge?
Stand up for people who need your help. You won’t regret helping, but you’ll always regret not helping.
And remember Kitty Genovese. Rped and klled in front of at least 100 onlookers because no one actually got on the phone to call the police.
We’re better than that.
Stay calm, and start filming with your phone.
“Lady, your child physically attacked my 1 year old child unprovoked. Your response has been to disregard the harm and verbally attack me. You should know that you are liable for any and all harm caused by your child to another person, including mine, as well as any harm you cause or invite. This is a warning, and we’re in a public place. (We are likely being filmed with onsite cctv cameras.) I encourage you disengage with me, as I will be sending this to the city and to my retained counsel.” Then talk to management - not guards, but people actually managing the museum - explain what happened, identify the individual. If that person is with a school the school will be warned. If it happens again, they won’t be welcome back.
Now, that said, I’m a lawyer. I’ll say sh!t like that every day and twice on Sunday because I’m happy to back it up. Use it or don’t, whatever you’re comfortable with. Just make sure you’re always willing to back up what you say- people can tell when you’re bluffing if you’re scared.
Insults and comebacks may feel good in the moment, but they can make the situation much worse. They tend to be tv moments - things that seem awesome on tv, the scene ends, everyone s feels vindicated. But in real life, there’s no applause track and you’re still staring at each other afterwards. It’s risky.
If they say “you can’t film me!” That’s crap. It’s a public place. You can’t air it publicly without permission. But generally, I just nod and smile and say thanks for letting me know. And keep filming.
Finally, I want to mention witnessing stuff like this. Especially parents. Please stand up for each other. That doesn’t mean getting into fights or sticking pointy fingers in faces. It means not leaving people to be attacked unfairly and alone even when they’re surrounded by people. Say something. Do something. You can just say “hey- stop that.” Or “what the hell.” Or “leave her alone.” Or just agree with her out loud and say “your kid pushed her kid.” This other woman sounds like a bully, and these statements undermine bully’s confidence that they won’t be challenged.
Bullies feed on people being too scared to say anything. They fade to nothing when anyone tells them they have no right to do what they are doing, are acting like a bully, and are generally just showing how insecure and weak they are (this woman seems insecure about her own child’s behavior - and likely fears being viewed as heavy).
Don’t let your fear of being attacked give bullies free rein. That just lets them feel like they can pick on you, next time. Especially when kids are around - all of those kids learned that when a kid does something wrong, the way to deal with it is bully the other person into thinking it was their fault, then reinforce that with name calling and gathering onlookers and fear. How do you think your child would react with that knowledge?
Stand up for people who need your help. You won’t regret helping, but you’ll always regret not helping.
And remember Kitty Genovese. Rped and klled in front of at least 100 onlookers because no one actually got on the phone to call the police.
We’re better than that.
mandygill123
New member
@merrykate Really love this response!
christianmomof4
New member
@sakura656 She sounds trashy. There I said it. Completely disregard her.
@sakura656 “At her age your child is learning to read and managing basic hygiene on her own. That is more than old enough to know that you do not push smaller children and steal the toy they are playing with. Are you trying to raise a respectable person or a bully? Get off your own fat ass and correct your kid’s behavior so I don’t have to.”
@sakura656 Sounds like the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree for that rude lady.
christianliving
New member
@sakura656 Even though your kid didn’t understand the situation, I think you did the best think you could in that scenario. You advocated for your kid but also didn’t engage in what would have just been pointless conversation.
elliott954
New member
@sakura656 I’m wondering what were the responses from the other parents?? Moms who don’t watch their own kids and then blame everyone else instead of their own child is absolutely mind-boggling to me, let alone her choice of words toward a stranger. If I witnessed that, I’d be mortified and have to say something to that crazy mom.
Also….no wonder the kid was acting the way they were with the mom being such a bully.
Also….no wonder the kid was acting the way they were with the mom being such a bully.
@sakura656 [ Removed by Reddit ]
onfire4yahweh
New member
@sakura656 Some people are just miserable, or rude. I try to never stoop to their level. Kill them with kindness or just ignore them. Now of course there is a point where u can’t be nice anymore.
beckster66
New member
@sakura656 What a nightmare. I worked med-surg as a floor nurse for several years and developed pretty thick skin—patients can be assholes—so I would’ve shot back with something along the lines of, “look, clearly you think me and my fat ass are hot, and if you wanted my number you shouldn’t have told your kid to act like such a prick to get my attention.”
But that’s a bit aggressive. I’m sorry you had to deal with that type of behavior—she sounds unbearable!
But that’s a bit aggressive. I’m sorry you had to deal with that type of behavior—she sounds unbearable!
@sakura656 How embarrassing to be that woman 
what the heck.
what the heck.@sakura656 I guarantee the other parents thought she was just as crazy as you thought she was.
@sakura656 “Oh yeah, well the jerk store called, and they’re all outta YOU!”
@sakura656 When I haven’t read the story my clap back would have been “why, thank you.”
She kept talking because she thought she’s winning the situation, with you backing down. With that attitude? She’s no where winning. Good job OP.
Normally, I would really clap back. But that’s not a good example to set. Kids were there. I don’t engage with violence if and when I am with my kids. But do that to me when I’m alone? Girl. Hmn.
She kept talking because she thought she’s winning the situation, with you backing down. With that attitude? She’s no where winning. Good job OP.
Normally, I would really clap back. But that’s not a good example to set. Kids were there. I don’t engage with violence if and when I am with my kids. But do that to me when I’m alone? Girl. Hmn.
sociologyiscool
New member
@sakura656 Well her kids going to grow up to be a terrible human… She’s losing long term.