@saved1970 We went to Hawaii with my mom when our twins were 23 months. We bought seats for them and brought on their car seats which was a huge pain but I do think it helped my daughter sleep. They are great car travelers so the car seat was familiar. I wouldn’t have done that trip without the kids having their own seat, there’s just no way they would have stayed on my lap. With it being Italy, I really don’t know if bringing your car seat would be an option, I didn’t think the could legally be installed in European cars.
All this to say, it’s a lot. I still remember how miserable getting on the flight was. I packed snacks and toys, things they have never seen before. My mom is disabled so her help was somewhat limited but she was able to distract and entertain. It was different though because I really wanted to go and hadn’t been on a trip in years. You’re not wrong for seeing how stressful it’s going to be but advocate for yourself if you think there’s a way to go that would bring you happiness.
@saved1970 Why don't you suggest that your mother-in-law and husband take a bus to an Italian restaurant with the twins, eat there and then take a bus home.
I think if you are the default parent, they really might not understand exactly why this would be difficult.
I think part of it too is what is she expecting to do once she gets to Italy. Does she want to do a lot of sightseeing tour buses or a museums that aren't very kid friendly? Or does she want to rent a little villa.
@hilbrand So it’s really to see family. Not sure what her expectations are or what we would do everyday. There is a beach nearby so I imagine she would want to go to the beach. But my partner has never taken them alone with his family out to a restaurant whereas I have. When him and I went to lunch the boys slept most of the time so it wasn’t difficult. But when I went with my family they wanted no part in sitting in a high chair for more then 30 minutes.
@saved1970 I love travel, I love Italy, I love encouraging parents of multiples to stretch themselves.
That being said, Italy in the summer is SO DANG HOT and no where has air conditioning or ice. You’ll be hard pressed to find a public bathroom to change them in, or a place that serves a cold glass of water. I wouldn’t go unless I knew for certain I would have lots of hands on help and if that couldn’t be guaranteed I’d say thanks for thinking of us but maybe next time.
@saved1970 I flew to Poland from Wisconsin with my 23 month old twins. I was so stressed about it that I spent like 2 months taking to my therapist about it and took Xanax on the flight lol. And the twins did great! I was still nursing which was so helpful because I just whipped the boob out when they were fussy. Granted we flew to Poland to see family so it was a trip we all really wanted to go on and I had lots of support.
But it all depends on your kids and how much help you’ll have.
@saved1970 Up to you, I took my 9 month old twins to visit family in England from Japan with my husband and that was a 14 hour flight. It wasn’t fun but we survived and enjoyed ourselves enough to go back this year (they will be 23 months) and it’s going to be a 22 hour flight including a transfer (yikes). It’s whatever you’re comfortable with and if you feel like you’re getting enough support. Whatever you decide - I would totally understand.
@mattrb Sorry just saw your post!
It’s all about survival! Be prepared to not have any sleep, try and get a bassinet so you only have to hold one kid on your lap rather than two. Get a ton of snacks and toys in your bag to entertain.
Take an empty flask and once you get through security, go to any cafe and ask them to fill it with hot water for formula milk (if needed).
@saved1970 Just tell her "you can take them I'll stay home let me no if it was worth it when u get back"
I personally would not. an all inclusive not so far away is fine but still hard but 9 hours on a plane and then all the stuff you normally do threw out the day but less organized and totally unscheduled is just not for me. Jet lag pluses the amount of dicking around and trying to keep everyone happen and together just is not enjoyable
@saved1970 This is a hard no for me. The current rule my husband and I have, when it comes to air travel with the kids - it has to be a direct flight, and 3 hrs or less. End of story.
We will get more adventurous when they are older, but I have no issues limiting our world for the time being.
@saved1970 Your feelings are entirely valid. We had a similar generous offer from my MIL to travel to Italy from the US when our kids were the same age as yours. We declined for all the reasons you mentioned. We wanted to go so badly, but we knew our kids weren’t ready. This is just the season of life we are in at the moment. With time, like everything else, the season will change, and we will love every minute of showing them the world. But it just might not be as quickly as the grandparents would prefer. I’ve worked hard to remind myself that our family moves on our time when we all are ready. The pressure is real, though. Someone in this thread said, “It depends on the support you will have.” I couldn’t agree more with this. While we knew MIL meant well and had the best intentions of helping. We also knew promises of support would disappear once the allure of the city we planned to visit was more present. We didn’t want to be left holding a bag of empty promises or, worse, a poor judgment call.
@saved1970 On the flight will they be over age two? Or “babes in arms”? Something to think about. I think the rule is that two people with “babes in arms” cannot sit next to one another in the same row. Honestly a flight with two 2 year olds sounds awful.
