Iām glad Iām not the only one.ronaldo0016
New member
@saved1970 You do not owe your MIL a particular grandparent experience. No is a sentence. Just move on.
evangeltam
New member
@ronaldo0016 This right here. 
@saved1970 We have an outstanding invitation for coming thanksgiving in the States, which is 9 hours flying for us. And decided against it, they'll be almost 3 and we'd be staying with family. I can't handle the combination of stressful parenting and helpful family members, weirdly enough. And the flying would freak me out at this age.
@saved1970 My BIL is having a destination wedding in Mexico (in July 
) and the four of us (twins are 3.5 yrs) are invited. I opted to stay home with my kids for the following reasons:
My son doesnāt walk yet (Cerebral Palsy). Accessibility is our absolute main concern when it comes to travel. He bum scoots pretty fast but he would be in his stroller most of the time, and he hates his stroller.
Itāll be hot as fuck.
My husband is best man and my in laws will be busy with wedding stuff. Iām the default parent, but handling them in a hot ass foreign country sounds like a nightmare to me.
My in laws tried to talk us into all travelling together, but I had to put my foot down. My husband is going and, as guilty as he feels, I told him that taking time away for himself without us is healthy. Maybe thatās an option for your partner? My husband and I made an agreement that he would go to Mexico alone and I would visit my brother in Germany for a week for his 40th bday.
Youāre right to say no. People will be pissed, sad, disappointed but in reality thatās not your concern. You do what you feel is right for you.
) and the four of us (twins are 3.5 yrs) are invited. I opted to stay home with my kids for the following reasons: My son doesnāt walk yet (Cerebral Palsy). Accessibility is our absolute main concern when it comes to travel. He bum scoots pretty fast but he would be in his stroller most of the time, and he hates his stroller.
Itāll be hot as fuck.
My husband is best man and my in laws will be busy with wedding stuff. Iām the default parent, but handling them in a hot ass foreign country sounds like a nightmare to me.
My in laws tried to talk us into all travelling together, but I had to put my foot down. My husband is going and, as guilty as he feels, I told him that taking time away for himself without us is healthy. Maybe thatās an option for your partner? My husband and I made an agreement that he would go to Mexico alone and I would visit my brother in Germany for a week for his 40th bday.
Youāre right to say no. People will be pissed, sad, disappointed but in reality thatās not your concern. You do what you feel is right for you.
deacondrew
New member
@saved1970 My twins are 5 and this upcoming summer will be the first time weāre taking them on a long flight and a major trip. And Iām even a little nervous about that.
While I did once take my older singleton to Europe from the US, by the time my twins rolled around, you couldnāt have paid me to take them at age 2.
Just not my idea of a good time. You are not wrong in saying no.
While I did once take my older singleton to Europe from the US, by the time my twins rolled around, you couldnāt have paid me to take them at age 2.
Just not my idea of a good time. You are not wrong in saying no.
@deacondrew Thanks for the support! Have a great time on your trip 
@saved1970 Man this thread scares me. Planning to go to Ireland from US east coast later this year with my parents and sister. Our boys will be 17 months. I fully expect it to be hell but all of the "don't go" responses are surprising. I have been to Europe a bunch for as little as 4 days or up to 14 days and never had any issues with jet lag so maybe I am not considering how that will impact them.
@pitterson I also wouldnāt let it discourage you as everyone has their own comfort level and limitations. It seems like some people did it and enjoyed it and others wouldnāt do it. Every child is different too. I know one of my boys would probably be more active than his brother. Best of luck to you!!!
tutorials01
New member
@pitterson Donāt let all these responses discourage you! Weāve done several international (including transatlantic) flights with our twins under 2. Yes, the travel days especially are stressful, but it was honestly fine and worth it for us. If youāre traveling with family, all the better!
@tutorials01 Thank you! Do you have any pro tips for that age?
tutorials01
New member
@pitterson It helped for me to remember that no matter how difficult a flight or travel day is, it does end! Around that age, our kids were very interested in everything going on around them, so getting settled, take off, drink/food trolley passing by, travel magazines etc. were all easy entertainment for them to pass the time. Small, quiet toys were great: spinners, books, mini etch-a-sketch, etc. Around that age we had mini backpacks for each that we could pull little toys and books out of. Having a variety of snacks, fruit, sandwiches, and water bottles (watch out when opening them, the pressure can make the water go everywhere) kept them busy too. You can also ask the cabin crew if they have anything for kids - usually they have at least a small coloring book and a few crayons. We also keep backup outfits for ourselves in our carryon for if/when we get food, spills, or spit up on. The travel is only a small part of the trip. It will be worth it and will be so special to have those memories of them!
seakingjesus
New member
@saved1970 This would be a no for me at 2.
littlelisama
New member
@saved1970 Depends on where you're coming from and when this opportunity might come up again. If it's reasonable to think you may get the opportunity to go again then you're not wrong but to say you don't want to take a major trip becuase it's "inconvenient" is a bit of a cop out. It will never be easy to travel with kids and of course "vacation" with kids is often just life somewhere else with the added stress of being off routine but I also know I had to go on some unavoidable trips with mine at 6 months and at 18 months and while the flight itself had its challenging moments the layover was totally fine and the jet lag was actually worse coming home and everyone adjusted fine on the trip. The kids were off their routine although we tried to keep some semblance of normalcy and yet everyone seemed to absolutely blossom due to the novelty of the experience. And I will honestly say that mobile 2 year olds while they can be restless of course absolutely are a touch easier than imobile but very aware babies. At least you can occasionally walk them to the bathroom or something. They also might surprise you. When we traveled with our 6 month old twins they were very needy but our then 2.5 year old was a dream. Snacks. A few novelty toys and headphones with their favorite songs and they were chill for most of our long (but not overseas long) flight. There's a lot of preparation which is stressful but ultimately it feels like a small price to pay for a big new experience for the family. Now if you've already been or are planning another big trip sometime for just the grown ups then of course I'd personally RATHER do that and probably wouldn't do both but if this was my only chance for a while to go on a big international trip I would jump on it.
@littlelisama Itāll come up. My husbandās father has his whole family there. He came from italy a few days ago and itās because they want our boys to meet his brothers and sisters. They go to Italy every year. I would be 100% open to going once they are older. I donāt think itās a ācop outā. I also deal with intense post partum emotions and I do not have the best relationship with my MIL as she is overbearing and gets involved a lot so that also has not helped my mental health.
@saved1970 Can you go without the kids?
@saved1970 You can't plan to wean a little before they turn two to make this trip manageable?
@saved1970 Intercontinental traveling, a 9-hour flight, and 10 days in a foreign country with two adults who are clearly barely helping, are absolutely going to be easier if the babes are not breastfeeding.