Am I wrong?

tsomnlie

New member
My ex has had limited visits w our sons (2.5y/o and 2 mo old). Previously he has only been allowed around them w me present. Lately he has been making more strides to be consistent and so I’ve allowed him to take our oldest for a couple hours of the day. (I have concerns about substance abuse and mental health)

He’s been asking for more time so I agreed on two days a week for him to take our oldest after daycare 4-6:30pm. He is not allowed to pick up our son from daycare bc he refuses to communicate with me and has kept him overnight without my consent.

For context: he’s only ever had our oldest for a weekend overnight alone in which he got high and drunk while he was sleeping, had random women at his house, and asked for a babysitter after one day. He lives across the country most of the year. He only ever comes to play with them nothing else.

We have a court ordered temporary agreement for him to have our oldest 8-2 on Saturdays but I’ve been trying to work w him.

Today he told me he was going to show up at the daycare and make a scene if they denied him access to our child. He’s also threatened to just show up. He’s also had a woman here over the weekend who has gotten violent w him and had done drugs w him that ultimately ended up with him in the mental hospital previously. He had previously agreed to pick up our son at 4 from me and return him at 6:30. Now he’s telling me he’s gonna show up and pick him up and all this stuff.

I told him I no longer felt comfortable with him taking our son today. Am I in the wrong?
 
@tsomnlie You're not wrong. His threats should not be taken lightly. The fact that he kept your kid overnight once without your consent is troubling. I wouldn't allow any more than is court ordered at this point.
 
@tsomnlie You are not wrong. I’d make sure to be at daycare to pick my son up before he can. If you have no agreement or custody order- he can legally do this. Definitely contact an attorney. If you do not have formal custody- get it.

I re-read and it looks like you already have an order. That’s good.

Give order copy to Daycare and insist that they DO NOT RELEASE YOUR SON TO ANYONE BUT YOU.

Document his threats and if he violates the order - call the police. They may not want to get involved, but you’ll have documentation of his violation of order. File a motion for contempt.
 
@danields We were never married! So I have sole custody until he files for something else! Daycare has instructions to not let him in! We are currently in the middle of custody things w the court because his mom is trying to get grandparents visitation. However, he hasn’t filed anything for his parenting time yet
 
@tsomnlie Please don’t make the mistake I made. We weren’t married but I gave him visitation and rights in order to avoid court. 12 years later and he feels SO damn entitled for no reason
 
@rjschweikert My ex is so fuckin entitled it’s insane. Literally, LO’s first Christmas I bought him a build a bear with his name and birthdate on it. My ex saw it, picked it up, and went “I guess I can live with that”. Bitch, what?! This was MY gift. Get your own.
 
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