Am I ever going to sleep again?

[englishmuffin]

@3angels 2 year molars maybe?? They’re awful! Leaving your baby alone or letting them cry isn’t going to help that.

Start by trying to go to bed earlier yourself. On her first wake, fall back asleep with her in her bed or bring her into yours, if you’re all able to sleep together. It will get better and she will figure it out. It’s all a phase, sometimes phases are longer than others, but it will pass.

 

[marie2018]

@3angels They need to learn to soothe themselves. I think there's a middle of the road between "ignore them crying" and "respond fully all the time", where they learn that waking up a little in the nighttime is fine and they can get back to sleep without a freakout.

Are they generally okay with separation during the day, or are they going through an anxious phase? If they're not going through a phase right now, you might try some daytime seaparation-and-return practice games so they know you'll always come back.

Do you have a nighttime routine? It might be time to change up the routine to match their growing skills. Get more buy-in with more choices (of story, PJs, stuffy, etc.) If possible, the new routine can have you leaving while they're calm but before they're fully asleep.

Are they attached to a special comfort item? This is an age where they tend to go hardcore on a special blankie or lovie. If they don't have one, consider introducing a special soothing item, which can help them self-soothe.

 

[carolahess]

@3angels No advice to give, but I’m sorry, that’s so very difficult.

 

[gregory33ad]

@3angels Honestly, 2 was hard for my oldest whos alwaysbeen bad with sleep. She woke up a lot for all sorts of reasons. We just had her start in her bed, and then at the first wake-up, she came to ours and would sleep fine. Maybe stir to find a good cuddling position but would pass back out without tears. If you don't want to Cosleep could you put a space on the ground next to your bed?

My oldest is now just turned 4. She sleeps in her own bed all night most nights. A few times a month she'll wake up in the wee morning and either ask us to snuggle with her or come to our bed. But overall I'd say she is a great Sleeper now and that it started improving at 3 yrold.

Hang in there! Hope you find something that works for all of you.

 

[bolingbroke]

@3angels I highly recommend the book It's Never Too Late To Sleep Train. There are so many different methods, and you don't just have to leave them to cry for hours. The book goes into all the things you can do to optimize your routine, and explains how everything we do is training (or reinforcing) the current patterns.

 

[livingreality]

@3angels I can tell you I was right where you were! My son didn’t start “sleeping through the night” (aka sleeping next to me without needing me to actively support him through the night) until he was about 2.5 years old. He still cosleeps, and he falls asleep in his room (with me laying next to him) and then about 3-4 hours later, walks out of his room and into our bed every night. I honestly thought I would never sleep again, and am still very wary of having a second because of how detrimental the sleep deprivation was for me (he never slept more than 3 hours at a home for the first almost 2 years). But now that he is older and sleeping better, it’s so much more manageable for us. I am so glad we didn’t sleep train, I’m learning he is such a lover and I can see that he just craved that connection
/reassurance from us at night. You’re doing great and it will get better!!

 

[ddavis]

@3angels Honestly, sleep training and CIO does prevent this (usually) but I don’t think it’s too late! Read Dr Ferber’s book he has some tips for older kids.