@jramos1996 So, when you say you're up 3-5 times a night with the kids, are any of those times when he is still awake? Cause the whole post makes me angry o your behalf, but this bit in particular reads like he's a raging asshole.
My husband and I go to bed about 5 hours apart on weeknights. I'm a night owl, and he gets up at 5 am. Your husband is being ridiculous.
@jramos1996 I put up with more than most women I know in real life. Being on here always makes me feel seen.
This post… I would 100% leave over. And I’m telling you… I put up with ALOT of shit from my spouse. This would be my straw.
I’m a mental health nurse so I have some questions. What is he doing to address his condition right now, in the past and where he would like to see his goals met the future.
I can’t even tell you how many people hide behind the “but my mental health” and do literally nothing about it. YES I’m aware people cannot access help as easily or have support. I’m not talking about that. Your husband seems to have it, if not then tell me I’m wrong.
@jramos1996 Omg bromo. No no no. My husband and I have different schedules and I go to bed at 9/10 every night while he stays up until 1/2. This is just how our work schedules are. He would never ever ever expect me to stay up with him that late, just like I would never expect him to come to bed with me when I do. He is being absolutely absurd.
@jramos1996 I wake up at 5am too and have a very stressful job. I HAVE to be in bed by at least 9pm if I want to function the next day. Ideally 7:30 or 8. He is selfish. I would have zero patience for someone making me feel guilty for trying to get enough sleep to function. Sleep is extremely important and I personally put that above almost anything else. No, you are not being a terrible wife. Stick up for yourself and your boundaries.
@jramos1996 Abso-fucking-lutely not. If he wants more time with you he can pitch in so you have more time available. If you’re taking care of you and your kids, you’re doing amazing.
@jramos1996 You schedule is totally reasonable. Staying up past ten and getting up at 5:30 is not a sustainable sleeping pattern. If he wants more time with you, he can get up and have breakfast with everyone.
@jramos1996 I’ll be brutally honest with you. It may be time to get off the brink on this one. He’s contributing negatively, not positively, to your life. Unfortunately your kids will grow up thinking his behavior is acceptable if you don’t pull the plug, and soon.
@jramos1996 When my husband had crazy work hours (8-3am, 4am, sometimes 5) six days a week, we found time where we could. No part of that included staying up drinking and playing games. I was a SAHM; we had a 9 month old, it was covid. He was locked in his office and I would bring him a cocktail after getting the baby down, we would chat for 15 minutes, I would go to bed. If he was still working at the first, second wake up- I would chat with him for a few minutes. You are taking care of the home. You are taking care of the children. You are working a demanding job. The onus is on him to make time.
@jramos1996 I would look my husband in the face and say "so what would you say you do here?" Because it sounds like he's expecting you to be his mom, maid, and nanny without providing literally anything else in return. I'm so sorry, OP. My mom had to leave because my dad was an alcoholic that was increasingly becoming dangerous to be alone around (because he would just drink and let us kids raise ourselves while mom was trying to earn a living) there was one time my mom came home to my 5 year old brother and me less than a year old) completely alone because my dad went to buy beer, forgot his kids were already home alone, and then went fishing for the whole day. My mom stayed 2 years after that and then fled with us. I'm sorry for the sad comment, but I just want to tell you that while my vhildhood was hard, it was infinitely better because my mom LEFT when my dad made it crystal clear that alcohol was his true family.
