@jassikm First of all I am very sorry this must be hard. Its been said a million times but pain heals all. I was cheated on by a spouse while deployed overseas and i will say a bit more about it later, but it can work.
He should have a chance to be in the childs life full stop. He should be able to be at the hospital in the waiting room during delivery, if this is your first child i can tell you that you dont want to be exposing yourself like that to someone unless they love you, just my opinion.
Far too many children grow up without fathers. Forget about yalls relationship it is irrelevant to whether he should be in the childs life. You must put yourself aside for the child. I coparent my oldest son and we are both remarried, but we are great friends now because we managed to but our past issues aside when talking about my son. Both parents are key to a healthy child.
I know i will get downvoted to oblivion, but I do think men should have the right to be in a childs life whether or not there is a romantic relationship. How many children grow up fatherless with a willing father? I dont know. But men cant step up to the plate sometimes in situations like this because they are not allowed.
The pain will pass and you can speak with him only about caring for the child and nothing more in time. But every child deserves to be raised by both parents as long as its healthy and one side isnt a danger to the child.
Fatherless homes are whats really deep down destroying America in my opinion. I know its a trope used in racial discussions but I think it exists in the entire population.
I grew up without my father, had an abusive replacement, and would die if kept from my childrens lives. If something i did led to me not seeing them I would never forgive myself.
Give him his shot at fatherhood, but definitely doesnt sound like yall need to be together.