sanctified112
New member
Graduated and looking back on what would have helped a bit more.
TL;DR at bottom
Congrats, if you are reading this that means you are seeking out ways to make life easier with a baby. This puts you ahead of 90% of Dads out there.
Our beautiful girl was born 3/22. There were complications but this isn't story time, this is a GET PREPARED post.
Future DAD:
I know you are planning for the three days MAX in the hospital. Plan instead for 7. Bring extra Tshirts, boxers, socks, sweats. Snacks for you and Mom.
They will NOT feed you, or assume they won't. Don't believe Mom when she says they will for sure feed you as well as her. I was on my own. I pre-made a few subs, wrapped them up and put them in a bag with an ice pack. PB&J works equally well. You will survive on scraps and be fine.
Bring a pillow and blanket, hospital pillows and blankets are literal garbage.
Plan to feel like you are in the way all the time. You aren't but plan to feel like that up until Mama starts pushing. You are on water duty, ice chips duty, adjusting pillows, reassuring her and making sure to advocate for her on her birth preferences. You will feel useless a lot of the time but you are needed.
Get everything done at home first, at least a full week ahead of schedule. Two weeks if you can do it. DAILY do all the dishes, laundry, get all empty boxes out of the way. Do not believe Wifey that it can sit until you return. Do it now, we came home at 12am and had to immediately feed and change the baby. There won't be any time for cleaning up you will need at least 12-14 hours of just resting and taking care of baby when you get home.
Keep at least 3/4 gas in your tank at all times. I ended up having to drive an hour away to a new hospital on a moments notice.
Make sure you have diapers, wipes, formula bottles etc ready at home. Everything size 0-3. You can donate anything you don't use but its A TON of diapers a day and you won't know what size you will need till its too late. Hospital will help but not for everything.
Breast feeding is damn hard, baby won't be getting enough food and won't want to work for it. Be positive and reassure her and appreciate that Mama is trying hard. Don't be afraid to ask for formula or donor milk in the first few days in the hospital.
Formula. The presized 70mil bottles are a godsend. They are crazy expensive but your sanity and your child's health are worth it. Get a few dozen and have them at home.
ASK THE NURSES FOR HELP. First night is all sleep and you will think you got the best behaved baby ever. You are wrong, sorry. NIGHT 2 you will have nerves and exhaustion and emotions. Mama is still healing. It will be ROUGH. The nurses may offer to take the baby for a few hours, this is what they do, don't feel bad about accepting their help.
Become the wipes, diaper and swaddle master. Speedrun strats, impress the staff and mama with how good you can do it. Plan to do all of this so mama can focus on feeding and rest. Diaper hero dads, thats us.
Read up on cluster feeding. It fucking sucks. Baby will scream all night unless feeding. The only rest will be skin to skin with mama or for a few minutes in between feeds. I had to walk the baby around for a full hour just so mama could get that little bit of rest. This too is normal especially in the first few days.
You will get MAD at baby in the middle of the night. It will scream at you to no end and you WILL get angered up. You will want to swaddle them really hard or burp them with extra force. This apparently is a totally normal reaction but I wasn't ready. Just breathe, your kid loves you already but this is the only way they can interact for a while. You can always out-patient a baby, they will scream and scream and then two seconds later be sound asleep. Keep your cool, there has never been a baby that didn't cry a ton.
I know this is a lot but honestly, WORSE MEN THAN YOU HAVE DONE THIS. You got this future dad.
TL
R No matter how prepared you are, you're not, but you can do this.
TL;DR at bottom
Congrats, if you are reading this that means you are seeking out ways to make life easier with a baby. This puts you ahead of 90% of Dads out there.
Our beautiful girl was born 3/22. There were complications but this isn't story time, this is a GET PREPARED post.
Future DAD:
I know you are planning for the three days MAX in the hospital. Plan instead for 7. Bring extra Tshirts, boxers, socks, sweats. Snacks for you and Mom.
They will NOT feed you, or assume they won't. Don't believe Mom when she says they will for sure feed you as well as her. I was on my own. I pre-made a few subs, wrapped them up and put them in a bag with an ice pack. PB&J works equally well. You will survive on scraps and be fine.
Bring a pillow and blanket, hospital pillows and blankets are literal garbage.
Plan to feel like you are in the way all the time. You aren't but plan to feel like that up until Mama starts pushing. You are on water duty, ice chips duty, adjusting pillows, reassuring her and making sure to advocate for her on her birth preferences. You will feel useless a lot of the time but you are needed.
Get everything done at home first, at least a full week ahead of schedule. Two weeks if you can do it. DAILY do all the dishes, laundry, get all empty boxes out of the way. Do not believe Wifey that it can sit until you return. Do it now, we came home at 12am and had to immediately feed and change the baby. There won't be any time for cleaning up you will need at least 12-14 hours of just resting and taking care of baby when you get home.
Keep at least 3/4 gas in your tank at all times. I ended up having to drive an hour away to a new hospital on a moments notice.
Make sure you have diapers, wipes, formula bottles etc ready at home. Everything size 0-3. You can donate anything you don't use but its A TON of diapers a day and you won't know what size you will need till its too late. Hospital will help but not for everything.
Breast feeding is damn hard, baby won't be getting enough food and won't want to work for it. Be positive and reassure her and appreciate that Mama is trying hard. Don't be afraid to ask for formula or donor milk in the first few days in the hospital.
Formula. The presized 70mil bottles are a godsend. They are crazy expensive but your sanity and your child's health are worth it. Get a few dozen and have them at home.
ASK THE NURSES FOR HELP. First night is all sleep and you will think you got the best behaved baby ever. You are wrong, sorry. NIGHT 2 you will have nerves and exhaustion and emotions. Mama is still healing. It will be ROUGH. The nurses may offer to take the baby for a few hours, this is what they do, don't feel bad about accepting their help.
Become the wipes, diaper and swaddle master. Speedrun strats, impress the staff and mama with how good you can do it. Plan to do all of this so mama can focus on feeding and rest. Diaper hero dads, thats us.
Read up on cluster feeding. It fucking sucks. Baby will scream all night unless feeding. The only rest will be skin to skin with mama or for a few minutes in between feeds. I had to walk the baby around for a full hour just so mama could get that little bit of rest. This too is normal especially in the first few days.
You will get MAD at baby in the middle of the night. It will scream at you to no end and you WILL get angered up. You will want to swaddle them really hard or burp them with extra force. This apparently is a totally normal reaction but I wasn't ready. Just breathe, your kid loves you already but this is the only way they can interact for a while. You can always out-patient a baby, they will scream and scream and then two seconds later be sound asleep. Keep your cool, there has never been a baby that didn't cry a ton.
I know this is a lot but honestly, WORSE MEN THAN YOU HAVE DONE THIS. You got this future dad.
TL
R No matter how prepared you are, you're not, but you can do this.
I CANNOT wait until she has a better sleeping routine
I’m still pissed about that one lol but thanks for helping others be prepared!!!!