@corydm27 I would never. But I think it could be a millennial (and younger) thing. The only people I’ve spoken with that would do this are Gen X and older.
It’s funny that you are talking about this. I was just having a convo with my 14 yo about this yesterday. He couldn’t believe that some people would do this. Mind was blown, lol.
@mc_squared True. My boomer parents were really hard on us and had high expectations. We all have very successful careers but have kids who aren’t launching well. lol oops
My husband is an old GenX and yep, he is all for kicking them out. I’m a young GenX and it absolutely will not happen. ‘Jokingly’ I tell him he is free to go anytime!
@kavi0808 Entry-level incomes have not kept pace with rent/ cost of living, and college costs have spiraled since we were their age. We have not created a society that supports kids launching successfully without a lot of support. It might feel like the kids are lazier, but I think that's B.S. They've heard us talk about crippling student loans, they've lived through a pandemic, and they've seen us scream at each other over polarizing politics. We've given them debt and social media addiction. How can we expect them to be fully functioning, self-sufficient adults the day after they graduate from high school? Unless you've set up a huge trust fund, they simply can't jump out of the nest right away.
@corydm27 For everyone saying no what would you do if your teen moves out can’t make it and wants to come back home but only if their girl or boyfriend can live with them.
@phanton98 Nope, not ok. Boyfriends can live with their own families, friends or have their own place. If my daughter and her husband feel grown up and on their feet enough to LI e together they can get an apartment together
@corydm27 I didn't move out at 18 because I wasn't going to leave my childhood dog with my mother.
And we lived close to a university that I ended up attending.
My soon to be 18 year old would love to move in theory but he has no idea what he really wants to do. We live close to Jr College, so the current plan is he'll go there for a while.
Rents in our area are stupidly prohibitive. So I don't forsee him moving anytime soon.
And likely he wouldn't want to leave his childhood dog behind either.
The 2nd one has 4 years to go. He will likely invent a new rocket ship or gaming app that will make millions by then. Lol
@corydm27 My kids absolutely can stay during summers or breaks when they’re in college, or building up a career in their early 20’s. But it won’t be indefinite. Honestly my kids are all very messy and I’m looking forward to having fewer messy people living in this house. Also, eventually selling this 4-bedroom house is a big part of my retirement plan!
As far as boundaries, we’ll just have to see what life looks like. I feel like they would still be expected to have the same duties and responsibilities to help around the house that they do now. Maybe I’d give them a year to live for free if they were not in school, then start charging them some amount of rent?
@corydm27 I try to make it so they don’t want to stay- I do this by telling them they can’t leave me and they will have to stay forever. They can’t wait to leave. (I can’t wait to have an empty nest)
Realistically though, rentals are tough right now and I plan to support them until they can do it on their own. Mine is graduating in four weeks and not going to college in the fall. They think they’ll be able to work and move out with friends but I doubt it. We will gradually work it out over the next couple years as their younger sibling finishes high school. That kid plans to go to college and will hopefully motivate the other. It’s not one size fits all.
@corydm27 I was talking to my therapist about this just today! We agreed that keeping your kids home as long as they need to (because economy) is totally fine as long as they’re a productive member of society. Work or school. No sitting at home mooching. So they can stay until they get married if they do that. I’m fine with it. But if he’s mooching, not finding his way, avoiding doing hard things, no school/work, I’m kicking him out by 20. I’d just be enabling after that.
@corydm27 My oldest is 18 and still in highschool, off to college in the fall. My middle son is 17 and taking his GED test next month.I couldnt imagine kicking my kids out because they're "legal adults" I want my kids to be successful. That means they can stay home as long as they need to. Once they start working they can pay for their own extras (phones, insurance,extra food and whatnot) I won't charge rent I want them to save so that they can be financially stable (as much as possible anyways) when they decide it's time to move out. Our ONE requirement is that they have to be in school or working.
As for "rules" I don't think anything is really going to change. I already give them plenty of freedom all I ask is they check in and be home at a reasonable hour. If they're going to be out late or overnight that's fine I'd just like a heads up and that's more so if I hear someone rummaging around i know to be worried or not.
Also, eventually selling this 4-bedroom house is a big part of my retirement plan!