@cliffusngmg1 Advice on the conversation part that keeps coming up in the comments (if anyone wants! Otherwise keep scrolling)
In non-COVID times I bartend PT, otherwise I’m a SAHM, and this helps if you’re feeling boring or are socially anxious. Plan out potential (light) conversation topics not relating to children ahead of time. For example, I’ll be like hmm I want to try that new pizza place. I have a funny story about my dog being crazy. Matt Gaetz wtf. Watched season 4 of Crown. Etc.
It can help if you feel on the spot when chatting to have these things things already in your mind. They may seem dumb, but a lot of times lead down more interesting rabbit holes. It also helps give you a mental break from thinking about kids 24/7, even if the conversation is just a micro-interaction.
@cliffusngmg1 Many times, conversations about the kids for a SAHP take the place of work conversations. It is about you in some limited ways. That being said, I share that feeling of resentment from time to time. It is a real struggle, Good luck!
@cliffusngmg1 I hear you!! This is going to sound harsh, but if you crave that, you have to work for it. Call a friend or family member and talk to them about what you want. Going for a walk or sitting side by side with someone will bring this out too. I used to be in your shoes, and eventually learned that if I wanted to enjoy a conversation that wasn’t centered exclusively on everyone/ thing else- I had to make it a priority to practice. I swear when I became a sahp, I felt like I lost some of my socialization skills! You can do it. You are sooooo worth a wonderful, fulfilling conversation!
@cliffusngmg1 Me being a sahm is hard now that it is getting warmer I try to get out and allow her to play and have an ice cream while she does such. It is hard and some days I feel like me time is all swallowed up by school work. I feel guilty writing this because my child is watching me do it. But this is suppose to be me time because she is suppose to be asleep. I feel it is never enough and I always end up crying about it.
@cliffusngmg1 Every stay at home parent has been here before!
I was always the life of the party and had deeply intellectual interests, and still do but I’ve recently noticed these qualities taking a big back seat to my every day life (partially because I am pregnant and expecting in 5 weeks!). I’m grateful that my partner values my alone time and is also a professor so he is good at bringing me into what he’s teaching or having a stimulating conversation! I will say one thing that helps is reading together and discussing it. We try to do this several times per week, some days it doesn’t work because we are busy or exhausted with my being pregnant. I also suggest working in yourself doing things like meditation and being gentle with yourself, running if you can, are hugely helpful.
@cliffusngmg1 I feel about like this. But In my situation, I don't really share what's good with me because I either feel like it's too early to tell people about it. Or I feel like somehow, it's going to come crashing down, if it's something good. I believe, that you should dedicate like half an hour or so, to starting a journal. Write down whatever comes into your mind. Then you can share it with your husband. That way, he can read what your thoughts are and not risk the chance that the conversation is going to side track. And in a way, you can learn about yourself too.
