41 year old...Full time working single mom and full time grad student.... feeling overwhelmed

[triplets101]

Hi everyone,

Looking for words of wisdom, encouragement, life stories, etc. Been feeling overwhelmed recently...I started at 37 years old my education and received my bachelor's in December 2021 and just started graduate school this January and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm a mom to 11 year old twins and I've been feeling guilty for how busy I am... I'm trying to fix my life so I can provide them a better life but I'm not feeling happy about how tired I feel I feel like quitting school and just dedicating myself to working and my kids, but then I'll probably feel bad for quitting school lol...Oh my, am I a paradox
Wondering if any single parents also feel confused, overwhelmed, sad, defeated, and how did you overcome this?
P.S. I should be working on my school work as I write this lol

 

[katrina2017]

@triplets101 I'm super tired so I'll keep it short. Lol.

I've been where you are and so has my mother. My mother dropped out of grad school and regrets it. I finished (with her support) and I'm grateful all the time.

I will say that I was so tired after grad school that I skipped graduation and stayed in bed all day.

 

[triplets101]

@katrina2017 Hi,
I feel I'll also be like your mom if I were to drop out... but yes, I don't think I'll make it to my graduation if I keep on like this lol. I'm glad you finished and it must feel awesome once you do!

 

[katrina2017]

@triplets101 Could you do part time graduate school? Maybe next semester or talk to as advisor and explain and maybe drop a class or two.

 

[triplets101]

@katrina2017 Hi,
I've been thinking of that, it will take me longer to finish but I think I'll burn out if I don't

 

[katrina2017]

@triplets101 Don’t be hard on yourself. You deserve time to breathe. You’ll finish the program.

 

[triplets101]

@katrina2017 Thank you...I need to remind myself of that...I always feel I need to push myself harder and that's not healthy.

 

[katrina2017]

@triplets101 I second the option to go part time. I almost burned myself to the ground as a single parent, working full time and attending grad school full time. Fall was very difficult and high stress. I found myself losing focus and getting irritable from the constant lack of sleep. I was thankful when the semester ended.

I know it sucks that going part time will extend your graduation date, but you know what, you need time to recover too. Rest and self care is just as important.

Like you, I am determined to finish. However, I decided to go part time for my own sanity. So far, I think I made the right decision. I actually have a day to rest as long as I keep following through doing sprints of work Mon-fri. Though I am still very busy, I am getting more sleep and feel more at ease again.

 

[triplets101]

@katrina2017 I'm so glad you feel better..I think I will also change to part- time...I feel my body telling me that!

 

[katrina2017]

@triplets101 Definitely listen. Burning out can bring so much more harm. Good luck to you! We will get it done.

 

[fairelaine]

@triplets101 Hang in there!

I know exactly how you feel, single mom of 1, 2nd semester of grad school and two jobs. I don't really have an answer of how to make it all work. I just have occasional meltdowns, piles of laundry, and endless homework but I tell myself it's not forever it's just for now.

It's going to pay off eventually just do what you can and know you are creating a better future even if it's sucky now. We all do the best we can and you are absolutely killing it. Go cry, take a long boiling hot shower and then get your study on. You got this!

 

[triplets101]

@fairelaine Thank you..... it is only temporary, I forget that!... I've cried for today lol

 

[katothewolf]

@fairelaine I didn’t know occasional meltdowns were common. That’s very good to know because I often think I’m losing my mind lol.

 

[wandererhere]

@triplets101 Just wanted to say that I'm right there with you. Single mom to 2, working full-time, and in grad school since August. This week has pushed me to my limits because we have to read 300 textbook pages for our module (plus an assignment, an essay, and a quiz) and trying to find time while maintaining my mental sanity is really hard. I think about quitting school a lot, but I know I'd regret it and that's what keeps me going. Sending you all the best!

 

[triplets101]

@wandererhere Thank you.... yes, I'm the same.... so much work every week...I had no idea I would feel this challenged! Sending you hugs... the mental exhaustion is real!

 

[frankpatriot]

@triplets101 I feel you. I’m 38, single mom to two teenagers, high school teacher, in grad school. I feel like i can’t find the time to actually do anything WELL. One thing I can say that has helped is giving myself permission to take breaks from school when I feel like I am going to lose my shit. That’s the only negotiable part of my life, and sometimes it makes sense to hit pause. I always go back, and I feel like I am better for taking that time when I need it. Maybe your equivalent is going part time. Give yourself permission for things. You write your own rules.

 

[triplets101]

@frankpatriot Thank you... yes, I also feel I'm too rushed to do anything well...I need to learn how to take breaks too.... thank you for your input! Good luck in your studies!

 

[natalliaaa]

@triplets101 Stay strong... take a moment even if in bed or bath to clear your mind and just be.. if it too bad go get laid

 

[triplets101]

@natalliaaa Lol... that's an option I guess

 

[jacquiluvsjesus]

@triplets101 I say stick with school. I did it with mine as they were like 3,4 and 6 when I got my masters. Solo parent- it was hard but worth it