@triplets101 I understand how exhausted you are right now and the feelings of neglect you may be doing for your kids at the moment.
Remind yourself that kids are highly adaptable and the feelings you have are real. But they’re just feelings and they will pass in time. You’re presently setting an example for your kids with your schooling and you will finish and be able to provide for them better in the future.
So it’s a win. You’re winning. You’re teaching your kids perseverance and you’ll be able to provide better for them in the future. Keep moving forward. I beleive in you.
@triplets101 I feel this in my soul. I had my first child at 16, and this has been a struggle every day of my life since. My oldest is now 14, and I have an 8 yr old and 5 year old twins. I am a single parent with zero help from their dad. I work from home making less than I could, because I can be there everyday for my kids (twins are in half day K). I know I can do more, but that means less time with them. My goal is to go back to school full-time once the twins are in first grade. It will be a big change for all of us because they are used to me being there every day all day.
I know it's easy to feel guilty, but there is no way to provide them the life you want them to have, without taking the necessary steps. I know it is hard now but one day they will appreciate it more than you can imagine. You are setting a good example for them by working hard. Make the most of the time that you do have together!
@triplets101 I feel you. I started school at 18 and finished at 26. Single mom by age 20. It was hard not gone lie. I graduated in 2015 with my bachelors and 2018 with my masters. I did school part time as a graduate student. In undergrad I was in a predominantly white female field. I was told by a coordinator (my son was 1 month old) that I wouldn’t make it by being 20 with a baby! But I did it. Worked at the hospital at night as a tech and made it through. Set up my own internship with my own places (1200 hours) and made it. Now I’m at a job where I only have to work 6 hours a day (we get paid for 8 as long as we work 6) with free food, quiet and no set schedule. I work another job PRN. Easy no set schedule , both raises. All under 40 hours a week. My FT job has decided to pay back all my student loans and do tuition reimbursement at the same time if I want to go back for my doctorate! Excellent PTO. When I tell you life is good….. girl it’s worth it!!!! I feel so stressed free.
@triplets101 I feel overwhelmed just reading about your situation. I couldn't do it.
But, we all have our own tolerance levels. I personally would just focus on the kids until they are out of high school and then go back to school if you really need to.
@spacenl I've thought of that, I have.... my hope is to finish by the time they start high school.... when the hard years start... but we'll see what happens.
@triplets101 Why didn’t you get a job with your bachelors? “Getting a masters means you didn’t do it right the first time” is something my roommate told me that really woke me up. If I could do it again I would not have gone to grad school. So if you are feeling conflicted, drop grad school. College is not respected like it used to be. You are a parent of the alpha generation. The first gen to say F college, I’ll start my own company instead. Slow down your goals bc they don’t make sense in today’s world and you’re missing out on what matters
@triplets101 Good stuff, if you play your cards right, you'll have a thriving business. How much longer until you're through the program and to supervision?
@triplets101 You can do this! Hang in there! As others have said, it's ok to cut down the coursework and take a wee bit longer to finish. Self care is important. You got this!
@triplets101 You are amazing. Truly. I’m in grad school full time (with two young kids) and cannot imagine a full time job on top of that. Burnout is just a part of it. Grad school (at least where I am) can have some unreasonable expectations. Hang in there. Take longer if you need to. I hope you have a supportive supervisor who understands. Do what you need to to finish, and don’t feel bad. Take breaks, enjoy some evenings with just your kids. Working all the time is simply unsustainable. Best of luck to you!!
@triplets101 In Jan 2014 I filed for divorce as a full time student who worked part time and had 3 kids at home. He left completely and moved states away. I decided to finish what I had started and it was hard, even while work one and sometimes two jobs I had to sell everything. I graduated in 2015 with two degrees and 2 diplomas related to the field of my dreams. We moved 7 times in 6 years. I bought my house in 2020 just two weeks before quarantine. I’m doing ok now and not wish in my field but making decent money. I work a lot and my kids are home alone a lot but we manage. I’m glad I finished school, but more so for my kids sake. I had to give my dream to support them on my own, maybe one day I’ll make it happen but for now I just keep grinding away.
@triplets101 Semantics but is your company paying for school? Do you have a for sure job lined up with higher earning potential. Will it end up making a big difference in quality of life (for sure?)
I just ask Bc sometimes people think they need these degrees when in reality it’s very few that actually make up difference in salary enough to go back. School should also be something you enjoy expanding your mind and perfecting or becoming expert in your chosen career path. If it’s just something you’re doing without a real plan- that doesn’t help feelings of burn out defeat etc.
props to you nonetheless you have 4 full time jobs and yeah that’s a lot!!
@triplets101 I am 44 and completed 3 degrees and I am still exhausted. I just think turning 40 is a wake up call for our brains. You have to eat really nutrient dense food like nuts, grapes, broccoli, wild rice, salmon, water and take vitamins because everything about your life depends on your sleep, energy and brain capacity.
Drink water every night, get good sleep. Unpopular Opinion but kids are better suited for youthful bodies. Older parents have the advantage of wisdom but lack the physical prowess to care for kids.
@triplets101 I have three kids and just work. I am going to try to go back to school in the summer.
Just my opinion, but you cannot get back lost time. Providing better things to your kids doesn’t matter if they don’t get the time with you. That is what they want more than anything else.
