10 month old not sleeping. Losing it

@jesussavedme2017 One time I had my sleep schedule messed up that I couldnt fall asleep at night and would sleep around 9-10am and no amount of trying to go to bed early or staying up all day would help. Even if I force stayed up, the sleep just went away at night. So what I did was just push my bedtime by one hour each day until it reached normal; so maybe id recommend put your baby to sleep around 3-4am and push 1 hour every day for 16 days. Maybe that’ll help? The other thing that help me consolidate my sleep schedule was having a baby. Now i sleep when baby sleeps and awake when baby is awake
 
@jesussavedme2017 Im going through this exact situation with my 9 month old right now. He’s been a terrible sleeper his whole life. I just need a little light at the end of the tunnel. Did your baby ever start sleeping through the night? Or were there things that worked for you? I feel like I’m slowly losing it and anything would help!
 
@jesussavedme2017 Hey I’m not sure if this will help, but this has been working for me. So we make sure he has good naps during the day and don’t last longer than two hours and making sure he has a longer wake window before bedtime. He normally goes to bed at 7pm and would wake up at around 10:30-11am because he would wake up for a few hours in the middle of the night. I got some advice to take off an hour on both ends, so add an extra hour before bed and then wake up an hour early. It causes him to be tired for a few days but after the few days are over he stopped waking up in the middle of the night and sleeping in longer stretches at night. If a baby sleeps in longer in the morning it doesn’t give them enough day time wake hours and then at night they aren’t tired enough to stay asleep. I’m not sure if this will help but it fixed our baby’s sleep issues for now. I just thought it couldn’t hurt to share what worked for us!
 
@jesussavedme2017 Does she nap in the stroller or in any carrier (wrap, structured, sling)? Mine would finally fall asleep a block from home so I would just walk in circles in ny driveway for an hour while reading a book on Kindle. Or even just push the stroller back and forth in the garage.

My little dude would get fussy and cranky at an hour too but I would perk him up by BFing him so for us, it wasn’t that he was sleepy, he needed a boob snack.
 
@jesussavedme2017 Baby dependent of course but I find eye rubbing doesn’t mean ready to sleep anymore for a few months now (now 7m). Mine rubs her eyes from teething I think. But if the cue turns out correct for you most of the time then disregard :)

Solidarity ❤️ these days we’re soso but in the newborn phase the sleep and naps were the bane of my existence.
 
@jesussavedme2017 I’m so sorry this sounds so hard. Have you read much about the Possums method? It might help. It did for us! We’re from Australia. Have a Google of Dr Pamela Douglas.
 
@bignate Just looked into it from a thread here and it sounds great! Traditional “sleep training” scares me so bad but possums method is definitely appealing. Thank you so much.
 
@jesussavedme2017 Honestly it was a life saver for me. With my first I was obsessed with sleep and I am sure it led to my PPA. My second Tis been so nice to be flexible. Dr Pam has a book as well which resonated with me. Also follow her instagram. The one thing id say is possums is really about acceptance of infant sleep not being like adult and allowing yourself to get on with your life and the baby coming along for the ride. All the best with it and merry Christmas from Australia! X
 
@jesussavedme2017 Just here to say you are not alone! I’m going through the same thing with my daughter. It’s really hard. The sleep deprivation is gruelling. I hope you’re able to figure something that works. Would love an update if you do.
 
@jesussavedme2017 I saw a post recently in another sub that described the Possums method, and a big thing that stuck out to me was getting the baby up at a consistent time every morning and making sure they get outside (or close to it) and see the sun. The natural light at the same time every day creates and/or enforces a circadian rhythm — and it sounds like you need that.
 
@jesussavedme2017 I don't think you're doing anything wrong! You're trying your best and you're giving it a lot of thought, energy, and effort. This shit is so hard, especially as the default parent. There's so much riding on us to get it right all the time.

I'm not sure if you're looking for help, so if you're not, please disregard the next part of my comment.

Some things that have really worked for us are lots of outdoor time. I read something a while ago (sorry, no source!) that babies will sleep best at night when they've been outside for at least 4 hours during the day. We definitely don't get 4 hours every day but I always make getting outside the goal.

Getting your baby outside (depending on where you are in the world, too!) specifically to see the low solar angle sunlight (around sunrise and sunset- and NOT just when the sun is at the horizon), is the optimal stimulus for setting their (and your!) circadian clock for daytime wakefulness, night time sleep, and overall mood. We personally do 10 minutes on clear, sunny days and 20 minutes on overcast days. If you do this for 1 week consistently with your daughter, I guarantee you'll notice a difference. It's honestly SO easy, free, and you'll also feel soooo much better.

This is a super unpopular opinion and I'll get downvoted for this, but we cut out all caffeine, including dark chocolate from my (EBF) diet. This won't be effective for everyone but it's really key for our family who is very sensitive to caffeine.

You might already be doing this, but tons of active play and new experiences at this age seems key to genuinely tiring them out. Lots of climbing, tunnels, thinking games like peekaboo and hide and seek. If my son doesn't have enough free play throughout the day, I find he wakes up more in the night.

Sending lots of good sleep vibes your way!
 
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