0 to 1 child, or 1-2 children? Which was a harder transition for you?
- Thread starter andy1993
- Start date
@andy1993 Yep! Our first was honestly so hard. He was born right before COVID hit, had colic until 6+ months old, couldn't nurse, always woke up every 2-3 hours until just before his second birthday and screamed whenever he was put down. We don't have a village to help so we were all alone. Twins are not easy in the slightest, but at 11 weeks old they sleep in 4-5 hour chunks sometimes and are happy to just chill wherever. Compared to our first, our twins are easier. I don't know what we would do if we had an easy baby first!
I hope your next one is easy too if you do decide on more!
I hope your next one is easy too if you do decide on more!
davidcave1
New member
@andy1993 0-1 was tougher BUT my second baby was a more challenging kid. I just had no clue what I was doing with my first, I was learning to breastfeed, and generally you just don’t know what you don’t know. By my second I knew the basics and also knew that no one knows what they’re doing really so I gave myself a lot more grace. My kids are 13 mo apart.
anthony2019
New member
love him to pieces but hoping we can cope if number 2 turns out to be as much of a total nutter.@churchhub Oh man, I'm sorry to say but no.2 has been much more difficult than no.1. He has a fiery personality, he's super cheeky and aggressive. I will say that no. 1 has been an absolute pleasure as he's gotten older. They're now 4y4m and 20m old.
@theloca Thanks for getting back to me! Oh man, this is scary news, haha. I'd have loved to wait for no. 1 to be older before trying again but I don't have time on my side sadly. I'm mainly scared for not being able to be the sweet and loving attachment parent I can afford to be right now, but I guess it's always gonna be harder with two kids anyway.
herbalnation786
New member
@herbalnation786 It’s such a tough decision! I’d love to have a bigger gap as well, but feel like time isn’t on my side anymore lol.
pinkdolphin
New member
@andy1993 I’ve thought about this a lot too, and I think it probably comes down to resources. If you have friends and family that are very involved, a spouse with regular work hours, the financial ability to get a babysitter from time to time, good physical and mental health personally, all that makes a HUGE impact as to whether you can be the kind of mom you want to be, especially to multiple children. I had a pretty hard time with my first during the pandemic, so I’m hesitant to have another even though there will probably be a lot more support available.
@pinkdolphin Ufff! All those points are forever revolving in my head. I still can’t believe I pushed with a mask on 
katrina2017
New member
@andy1993 Transition from 1-2 was easier. My second is a far "worse" baby when it comes to sleeping and still it's easier. We chose a small age gap (18 months). Yes its harder dividing attention and all but we are at home a lot, structured our lives to cater mostly to them and actually look forward to them being slightly more independent in a few years so that we have more free time. Although, now that the youngest is 15 months, we are thinking about the 3rd. From 0-1 it was a huge mental shift. All the time for us, our work, friends etc. And then very little of that. No sleep training meant never having a night out. 1-2 did not change that, we were already in that mode if that makes sense. And getting to see them play is really something. Oh, mornings and naps, when they wake up and start rolling around and playing in bed - be still my heart 
We take AP loosely. As in we are committed to fostering open emotional communication, creating a safe environment for expressing feelings, encouraging asking questions, following children's cues. But there are so many days that we share ourselves with both at the same time. We do not see it as a bad thing, sharing is an incredible emotional growth that aids in relationships. Yes, they are too small to understand and everything causes trauma, but we are thinking more along the lines of evolutional parenting, that some traumas are worth experiencing if there is growth. So, we try to mitigate the pain that we assume the older one is feeling at times.
We take AP loosely. As in we are committed to fostering open emotional communication, creating a safe environment for expressing feelings, encouraging asking questions, following children's cues. But there are so many days that we share ourselves with both at the same time. We do not see it as a bad thing, sharing is an incredible emotional growth that aids in relationships. Yes, they are too small to understand and everything causes trauma, but we are thinking more along the lines of evolutional parenting, that some traumas are worth experiencing if there is growth. So, we try to mitigate the pain that we assume the older one is feeling at times.@katrina2017 Your words are so soothing! Your babies are super lucky to have you!