@andy1993 0-1 was so hard. So hard.
1-2 was waaayyy easier.
I’d say the difference for me is the first one was more mental work/distress/worry, and my life was incredibly disrupted. I felt like half the days I was trapped inside trying to get her to nap. I had to cope with feeling like a different person, all the anxiety about becoming a mother and being responsible for another life.
1-2 was way less worry and in some ways it felt like about the same amount of work taking care of 2 as it did 1. But as my second gets older I’m finding it’s also more work in practical ways, you’ve got meals for 2, bathtime, laundry, bedtime, etc. not to mention splitting your attention and making sure everyone is getting what they need. I’m finding it harder to make time for myself sometimes. But I find it easier to leave for time alone or work (less separation anxiety for me!)
My first was 3 when the baby was born, which I think was nice because her ability and desire to play independently helped balance the attention thing.
So, I don’t know if any transition is easier, but they are in different ways. And getting through the whole identity and lifestyle shift of becoming a parent for the first time was really the biggest reason I found the second easier.
I do want another, and I expect 2-3 wouldn’t be awful, but again, I think I’ll be even more swamped and pulled in different directions!
But giving your child a sibling is an amazing feeling. My heart felt like it would shatter when I thought of my oldest losing her “only” status and our bond changing, but I think it was worth it for what she’s gaining. When their parents are gone they will still have family. That’s huge for me.
